2ndgenrationOW Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 it has been a while since i last posted and things with my MM are still at the same place we have been together for 2 months now well sort of we still have not had sex but we both tell each other we love one another and we truly do love each other he also told me he is no longer in love with his wife but is in love with me. i know all MM say that stuff but i trust him his wife and him do not have sex and he is only 20 and the only reason he got married in the first place is cause she was having his kid after liying and saying she was on the pill he tells me the only reason he is scared to leave is cause he thinks she will get the kid and move her out of state i don't know what to tell him and we want to be togther anything anyone can help me out with would be super thank you
Merin Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Well the first thing I want to point out is there are 3 sides to every story.. HIS side, HER side and what ACTUALLY happened. Could be true that she (his wife) was deceptive in saying she was taking birth control.. however regardless it is still possible to become pregnant even on the pill as it isn't 100% effective... so you also need to put this into perspective that HE is just as responsible for the pregnancy as she is.. takes two to tango. IF a divorce is really what he wants and he is concerned about his wife taking thier child to live in another state, that is something he needs to discuss with an attorney... most states recommend joint custody when it is at all reasonable and regardless of her being the Mom he is the father and has just as much right to see his child and be involved in the little peeps upbringing.
fredrolin Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Originally posted by 2ndgenrationOW it has been a while since i last posted and things with my MM are still at the same place we have been together for 2 months now well sort of we still have not had sex but we both tell each other we love one another and we truly do love each other he also told me he is no longer in love with his wife but is in love with me. i know all MM say that stuff but i trust him his wife and him do not have sex and he is only 20 and the only reason he got married in the first place is cause she was having his kid after liying and saying she was on the pill he tells me the only reason he is scared to leave is cause he thinks she will get the kid and move her out of state i don't know what to tell him and we want to be togther anything anyone can help me out with would be super thank you one word....punctuation
1money3 Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 When your MM decided he wanted to be with you, he decided to walk out of his marriage. Which means, he cared more about his feeling than he did about how it would affect his child. If the wife have a valid legitimate reason to leave the state and can prove it is in the best interest of the child, she will probably be allowed to leave with the child if she get majority of the custody such as 80%. It also depends on your state family law. I have a question for you. How much time does he spend with his child? How much time does he spend with you? Think about it. The time he spends with you should be spent with his child if the child was his number one priority. I am not trying to bash you. However, the court will look at everything. Are you willing to spend time with the child? Are you willing to act as care giver? How are you going to feel if he gets 50% custody? This means the child will be around a lot which will probably interfere with his social life. Your MM wants to be happy, right? Shouldn't his wife also be happy? Which means if moving to another state with the child will make her happy, he should let her. After all, he is the one that cheated and left the marriage. He can get the child in the summer.
Karlise13 Posted October 25, 2004 Posted October 25, 2004 And I hope you've given a great deal of thought on what it means to be a step-parent. If he does get joint custody, you will be participating in this child's upbringing. Are you prepared for that? I assume you are close to his age and also quite young. Keep in mind that most children resent the new 'intruder' into their family circle and the child may do some acting out for a while. Remember as well that this child is part of his life and he will be dealing with the mother for as long as the child remains under their care. She will not just fall off the face of the planet. She will be allowed to call the house you live in, show up for child dropoff, need to call him about issues with school, bills, the doctor. Once a child shows up, the other parent is part and parcel of YOUR life as long as you are with him. . Laws vary from state to state. He should probably start talking to a lawyer about what his options are. It's not likely that she'll be able to keep him from his child unless she can prove in a court of law that he's an unfit parent.
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