swazzzz Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 So after my breakup, me and my ex decided to remain friends. But our conversations would always veer towards the breakup and would eventually become unpleasant and annoying to her. So after last Monday, I decided to go strict NC with her. On Thursday afternoon, she messages me "how's it going?" To this I do not reply and then after 3 hours again she messages saying "hope you are well, take care and a smiley face". I do not respond. But then my mind was running in circles, trying to figure out which is the most nonchalant way of replying and what to tell her. So eventually on Friday night, I text her back saying I've been super busy with work, pulled an all-nighter and not been able to text back anyone. Basically I pretended to be busy to her. I tried to keep it pleasant. She writes back asking how I am doing and general chit chat. We actually just talk through texts for an hour, catching up about each other's work, weekend plans and other casual stuff. I then wish her good night and go off to sleep. So, I actually had a decent chat wit her without any weird feelings. Is this a symptom of a break up as well? Should I continue with this type of a behavior or will I still remain in the cycle of wanting her back in my life? All I am saying is that I broke NC after 4 days and it didn't really get ugly. It was just....normal.
lop98 Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Unless she contacts you again and tells you how she slept with some guy that snorts and you two can genuinely laugh about it, I think you're still in that cycle and can't really be friends until feelings for each other have considerably cooled off. I broke up with my ex and went NC over a month later. We had about 3 conversations "as friends" after the breakup, the first one was polite but full of tension, the second one was tense as well but we chatted for 5 hours, we laughed like always, talked about everything (even forgot the BU)... days passed, he started dating someone and that's when the real pain began. We had one last conversation that was short and awkward. We haven't talked since. I only wish I had never tried to remain friends and started recovering right there when it was clear that it was over, without getting the highs and lows and "are we friends or not?" "if we're friends, why haven't we talked in 2 weeks?" "does he still love me?" drama... all the memories got damaged, it was emotionally exhausting... depressive... If you really have no romantic/sexual feelings for her, go for it, if not, run for your life (mental health) while you still can. Do explain to her and be civil and then cut contact for a while (months).
Author swazzzz Posted June 29, 2013 Author Posted June 29, 2013 I might be meeting her next weekend over coffee so my plan is to be civil and tell her that I need some time off. But on the other hand, am also hoping for some FWB. Her folks are going off on holiday for a week and she will be home alone. So I am kind of hoping that things may change/dynamic between us changes. Is that too unrealistic for me to think of right now?
Simon Phoenix Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 I might be meeting her next weekend over coffee so my plan is to be civil and tell her that I need some time off. But on the other hand, am also hoping for some FWB. Her folks are going off on holiday for a week and she will be home alone. So I am kind of hoping that things may change/dynamic between us changes. Is that too unrealistic for me to think of right now? Yes it is.
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