I'm trying to cope

[Maytron]

My 2 and a half year relationship ended last week on Thursday. It was very sudden and also happened while we were hanging out and drinking with friends. That same night I found him in bed with another girl. All his clothes were on and she had her pants off but she had his back to him and his arm was underneath her neck. He was a complete ******* to me during the break up but during the relationship it was a different story.

We met during a halloween party in 2010 and immediately fell in love. At that time I was still living with my parents and he was couch surfing from his dad's house to his friends house. He didn't have a job or a car but i still loved him anyway. We are from two VERY different worlds. He grew up with not a lot and i was given more than i deserve. The first time i brought him home to meet my parents was very nerve racking but because he was someone very important to me my family accepted him for who he was. His family accepted me as well and made me feel like family. The first year and a half of our relationship was basically me driving to see him and paying for a lot of the things we wanted to go out and do. His mom decided to contact me one day to ask me to help him get a job, so i did. And i got him hired at the store i worked at. We spent a lot of our relationship together and never left each other's sides. He was the first one to say "i love you" and i didn't say it back until a month after he did. I just wasn't sure i was ready. But one day i realized that i did love him and i have never loved anyone like i loved him. We were the "it" couple that all of our friends looked up to and saw that what we had was genuine. He even talked about marrying me and saying he wanted to be with me forever. Every time i would be sad that we wouldn't see each other for a day he would remind me by saying, "Don't worry baby, we have the rest of our lives to be together."

During the beginning of our relationship he also told me he had a son, but never saw him because his ex had her current husband adopt him. I didn't care that he had a son because loving him meant taking all of him, and all that he had to offer me.

After the first year of us dating we decided to get an apartment together, per his mother's request and her helping us find a place. We opened up a joint back account as well, his idea, and adopted a dog from SPCA. We were so much in love and worked to make a life for ourselves.

At the beginning of this year, his ex contacted him saying she was getting a divorce and would like to invite him to see his son. We were both so excited and i supported him with whatever he needed to do to see him. But in order for him to go see him, he would stay at his ex's house. I felt threatened and it bothered me so much. But i pushed all of that aside because i knew he needed someone to support him. After he had gotten back home from a 4 day trip he told me his ex started to have feelings for him but he denied her advances and told her that he loved me and wanted to be with me. I knew that i couldn't freak out at the situation since she was the key for him to see his son. I even took it upon myself to help coordinate the times for him to go down and see him.

But during the last six months of our relationship we started to have a lot of financial problems. I had another job offer at another store and that ended up not being the best. It paid less than the job i had before and he started to lose hours as well. It was beginning to be hard to live with each other because everything was coming down on us so hard. I would be rejected in my sexual advances as well as hugs and kisses throughout the day. He would prefer sleeping on the couch that in our own bed, and i took this to heart. I would let him know that what he was doing, though he did not mean to hurt me in anyway, was in fact bothering me. It made me feel like he didn't love me anymore and all i want is to be loved back by the person that i love.

When he broke up with me he said he had been wanting to break up for a long time he just didn't know how to do it or he was afraid of how i would react. He was going back and forth between us just needing a break to us being broken up for good. He said we just weren't right for each other and told me to pack all of my "****" and move back home to my parent's house. I guess i will never know fully what happened for this relationship to end but i'm trying to cope. and there are some good days and some bad days.

I returned to the apartment a week later to get the rest of my stuff that i had forgotten and we had a good time laughing and he even made some jokes that were inside jokes just between me and him. He said maybe one day we can be friends and gave me a hug and told me to "hit him up" to hang out soon.

Since then i have closed the joint bank account and he resigned another lease with just his name on it. He had deleted me from his facebook and instagram and also joined the dating website Plenty of Fish. We still text and have brief conversations on the phone, but I'm thinking about not contacting him anymore just so i can really heal and get over the whole relationship. I just need some sort of closure and maybe someone to help me decode why he made his decision and what did i do wrong.

thanks