PinkDotsXOXO Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 To make a VERY long story short my ex and I were together 7 years and our breakup was a classic case of GIGS fitting the bill to the T. We went NC for a few weeks. Meanwhile, he hung out with this girl whom his whole family knows and hates. I know they were hooking up and hanging out. But he says he doesn't want a girlfriend right now so they never went out. My ex and I had booked a trip to Vegas months before. We ended up breaking NC to talk about Vegas and ended up going together and having a good time. But this got us talking again, which led to hanging out again, and also led to hooking up (which we did not do every time we hung out). When we hung out we still acted like a couple and everything felt EXACTLY the same except he never said I love you. Every now and then I told him I felt like he was stringing me along and I needed him to make a decision and he always said "I don't know". Well tonight changed everything. We were supposed to hangout at 7:00. He was going to call me and then he didn't. It's very unlike him to ditch me because he never has. Therefore, I called him and texted him and got worried when I didn't hear from him (because he always answers my calls) so I drove the 10 minutes to his house. That other girl was there and he FREAKED out on me. He later called to apologize and said he told her that neither of us is the right girl for him. Then later on he tells me he needs some space and that we shouldn't talk for a few days. I just don't know if this whole thing is a lost cause or not. I know it seems to be but he says he enjoys my company and he would always text me and tell me that he misses me. He even said I can text him Monday. But I don't think I should. I'm just so confused!!! I've gone on dates with other guys and they have all sucked because every single guy turned out to be a jerk. I just feel so hopeless! Any advice would be appreciated!! Thanks in advanced!
athousandquestions Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 This is gonna be harsh. I'm sorry you're going through this. What exactly is confusing you? He has been straight up with you. He said "I don't know" when you told him to make a decision (this is classic GIGS talk). Let me repeat that: HE SAID NO. He does not care about you enough to be with you. He has been hooking up with another girl, openly I'm assuming if you know about it. This is him telling you he doesn't want to be exclusive with you, he doesn't want a relationship with you, he wants to be with SOMEONE ELSE. He does not care about you enough to be with you. He ditched you for another girl. He does not care about you enough to be with you, and he doesn't even care enough about you to respect the fact you had plans. HE straight up told you "You're not the girl for me" What is confusing you is that you WANT to be with this guy. But he does not want to be with you. Despite what he may say, or how he may act, if he wanted to be with you he would be. You are 100% right about him stringing you along and you ate it UP like a little puppy. He has no respect for you. You need to go NC and delete this guy from your life. NOW. I don't know anything else about your relationship but if you do want a future with him, YOU NEED TO GO NC ASAP. If you stick around you are going to make it worse/harder for reconciliation in the future. This guy wants to be single and if you show him you're gonna be available all the time, he will never want to be back with you. Do not text him Monday. Do not text him ever. If he contacts you, do not reply unless he straight up SAYS HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER. Anything else is him seeing if you're still his little toy, every time you reply you're pushing him farther and farther away from you. I know this sucks and it's going to be hard not to text him, 7 years is a long time. But you need to do this for you. You need to end all contact with this guy and you need to start working on yourself. Go to the gym, hang out with friends, live your life WITHOUT HIM starting NOW. If you initiate the NC you will REGAIN A LOT OF POWER AND RESPECT. If you keep pushing him and talking to him, you are giving HIM the power and respect and he will eventually STOP responding to YOU and YOU will be completely screwed. If it is meant to be, when he gets over his GIGS (and he will, they always do) he will contact you. 4
maturityassets Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 MOVE ON! Same thing happened to me. Classic example of the GIGS, she said one day she would hope to come back, ends up hooking up with a guy from her past who her friends and family dislike, she openly tells me, at first I was ok but then emotions took over (she said the same thing, realized the other guy isn't right for her either). We argued, she at first was mad but then dropped her guard and apologized for being mad at me and still tried to string me along by saying we could still talk every night. I said no, I need time to get over this myself. I'm 3 months post BU and 2 months NC now. In that time, I'm dating someone else, have decided I'm done with living in the past, been working out and such, new job, new sense of self sufficiency. I accepted her friend request on FB sometime after she requested me again only for myself because I'm a man of my word and I said I would if she felt like it after I deleted her. I put her on a restricted list because I'm making sure I'm not posting anything because I want to get her jealous and I hid her from my news feed (along with her friends and family) so I have no idea what she does nor do I care. Honestly, the only thing I will feel if she ever tries to come back is a sense of Irony of it all. If she doesn't? Who cares? I think you should take the similar attitude. I know 7 years in someone's life is a lot more than my 1 and a 1/2 in someone's life but in the end you are just as capable as anyone else to be happy without this other person. You can't think about the future now. Who knows if you will still have feelings 6-18 months from now, but you will make your own decision if he tries to come back. Best of luck! Know you can do this 2
Author PinkDotsXOXO Posted July 2, 2013 Author Posted July 2, 2013 Thank you so much to both of you! You have reaffirmed what I have been thinking in the back of my mind. I must admit going NC this time is MUCH easier than when we first broke up. I've been doing lots of self improvement and hanging out with friends. I'm gonna stick with it! I appreciate your help!
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted July 2, 2013 Posted July 2, 2013 ^^^^^^^ Young Ma'am, EXACTLY what they said! Its going to be ok, believe me. Stay NC, and move on. 1
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