JBlackstone Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 My boyfriend, or should i say ex, and I are now 2 days into our breakup. This cause for the split is my trust issues. He's never done anything to give me reason to not trust him. They are my own issues. I am now seeking therapy, though it may be too late for this relationship. Anyway, throughout the relationship one thing that always bothered me was the fact that he was friendly with an ex of his in the beginning of our relationship. He ended up cutting contact with her after I asked him to. fast forward almost 3 years and i still can't get over her! We broke up Wednesday morning and by wednesday night she had updated her cover photo on facebook to a picture from 2009 with my boyfriend tagged in it! Now is it just me or is this entirely coincidental? This isn't the first time she has posted photos from trips they've gone on together, usually just landscape shots, she actually does it quite often. Also, she had blocked him on facebook. If the tag was there since 2009, would it have disappeared when she blocked him? He still swears up and down that they are not speaking. Do I believe him or is something fishy going on? Also, she lives out of state, thought i'd mention that.
CaliBabe Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I think everyone can agree here that a lurking ex is a red flag. I would go with your gut instinct. If they are not together anymore or even speaking then she should be around or a subject of discussion anymore. It's only two days, give it more time and things will start to reveal themselves. If after enough time as passed and you don't see anything fishy, maybe you guys can have a talk. You should definitely take care of yourself and get help first and foremost. From there, see where things go. In your post you say thats its your own insecurities but has he given you reason to feel this way? If so, maybe you aren't so insecure as you think.
Author JBlackstone Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 No, he hasn't ever given me reason not to trust him. We are dealing with the same issues I had in my previous relationship. By no means is he perfect, but for the most part it's been my issues that have driven us apart i.e. constant questioning about his whereabouts, who he is with, and so on. As far as the ex goes, I know that she wanted to get back together and he did not. They were broken up for over a year when he and I got together. They were "just friends". Since they lived in other states it equaled out to facebook comments and the like. Even so, i didn't like it so he deleted her on facebook.
pteromom Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 The tag wouldn't show if he blocked her. She is no longer blocked. My guess? He unblocked her and messaged her when he broke up with you, letting her know you broke up and he can be friends with her again. You are right that you have issues. If he never gave you a reason to suspect him in THREE years, and if you were concerned about his ex even though he blocked her immediately, and if you were still thinking about her three years later... yeah, ANYONE would have had enough of that crap. Quit looking at his ex's FB page, and move on. He broke up with you, so it doesn't matter what he does now. You'll just hurt yourself by staying invested in his choices. 1
pteromom Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 By no means is he perfect, but for the most part it's been my issues that have driven us apart i.e. constant questioning about his whereabouts, who he is with, and so on. Yep. That'll do it. You need to resolve this before attempting to get into another relationship.
Author JBlackstone Posted June 29, 2013 Author Posted June 29, 2013 No, she blocked him. He deleted her and then I guess to one up him, she blocked him. So therefore, she would have had to unblock him, not the other way around. What I am curious about is if he was tagged in that picture from when it was originally posted, is it possible she doesn't even realize that others can see he is tagged?
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