sunmoonstars Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and more often than not when we're not together he ignores my texts. But I have noticed that he will be using facebook from his phone around the times I'm texting him. It honestly hurts my feelings and I feel like he's putting a website before me. Would this bother anyone else if they were in my shoes? I want to just get over it, but I can't seem to stop letting it bother me. Any advice?
atlg8r Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I dealt with that with my ex, too, and yes, it bothered me. I felt like it was not a priority to him to respond to me. I don't know the answer. He never stopped doing it for long. We would fight over something like that, and he'd say he understood why that bothered me, and he'd do better for a short time. But then he'd always go right back to ignoring me again when he didn't "feel like" getting back to me. I broke up with him recently, because people just don't change that much. I got tired of his lack of effort and lack of making me a priority in his life on a consistent basis.
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 I dealt with that with my ex, too, and yes, it bothered me. I felt like it was not a priority to him to respond to me. I don't know the answer. He never stopped doing it for long. We would fight over something like that, and he'd say he understood why that bothered me, and he'd do better for a short time. But then he'd always go right back to ignoring me again when he didn't "feel like" getting back to me. I broke up with him recently, because people just don't change that much. I got tired of his lack of effort and lack of making me a priority in his life on a consistent basis. That's kind of how I feel...like I'm not a priority to him. I really hope my relationship doesn't take the same turn as yours
TG1 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and more often than not when we're not together he ignores my texts. But I have noticed that he will be using facebook from his phone around the times I'm texting him. It honestly hurts my feelings and I feel like he's putting a website before me. Would this bother anyone else if they were in my shoes? I want to just get over it, but I can't seem to stop letting it bother me. Any advice? Maybe the reason why he is ignoring your texts is because maybe something is going on with him or it may be because of things you have done to him that maybe have caused him to be this way, hence the need why he turns to FB because maybe he is longing for that attention that maybe you aren't giving him physically
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Maybe the reason why he is ignoring your texts is because maybe something is going on with him or it may be because of things you have done to him that maybe have caused him to be this way, hence the need why he turns to FB because maybe he is longing for that attention that maybe you aren't giving him physically I'm sorry, but what? I didn't mention anything about our "physical relationship" and I don't feel this has to do with him getting on a social networking site. Are you suggesting he's seeking out others on facebook?
sillyanswer Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and more often than not when we're not together he ignores my texts. So do you text him all the time? Maybe he doesn't want that much contact with you when he's doing whatever else it is that he's doing.
TG1 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I'm sorry, but what? I didn't mention anything about our "physical relationship" and I don't feel this has to do with him getting on a social networking site. Are you suggesting he's seeking out others on facebook? Who knows, only he knows the answer to that but at the same time instead of twiddling your thumbs, maybe you should confront him about it by talking to him about it and then maybe you will get your answer one way or the other
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 So do you text him all the time? Maybe he doesn't want that much contact with you when he's doing whatever else it is that he's doing. I don't really text him very often and sometimes he's the one that texts me. Then when I answer his text he doesn't respond for hours and I will see that he's on FB. I've talked to him about it and he says he "doesn't see my texts" when he unlocks his phone.
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Who knows, only he knows the answer to that but at the same time instead of twiddling your thumbs, maybe you should confront him about it by talking to him about it and then maybe you will get your answer one way or the other I have confronted him about it. He doesn't seem to think its a big deal and says he doesn't text me back because he doesn't see my texts. I don't think he's on FB looking for someone to cheat with so I'm not sure why you would even bring that up. Honestly, you are coming off as a bit strange and you're not being helpful at all.
TG1 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I have confronted him about it. He doesn't seem to think its a big deal and says he doesn't text me back because he doesn't see my texts. I don't think he's on FB looking for someone to cheat with so I'm not sure why you would even bring that up. Honestly, you are coming off as a bit strange and you're not being helpful at all. Maybe I brought it up for a reason because for all you know he could very well could be, and it is not like I am trying to get you to question your love for him but at the same time you should realize that something could very well be going on especially if he is on FB a lot rather than ignoring your texts even though he says he doesn't seem them, it is probably just an excuse
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Maybe I brought it up for a reason because for all you know he could very well could be, and it is not like I am trying to get you to question your love for him but at the same time you should realize that something could very well be going on especially if he is on FB a lot rather than ignoring your texts even though he says he doesn't seem them, it is probably just an excuse I trust him and don't think it's anything like that. I have his FB password and he has mine, he's on there posting about cars and watching stupid videos. I'm not sure why you are so adamant that he's cheating but you are seriously coming across as strange. Please stop trolling.
MidwestUSA Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) I trust him and don't think it's anything like that. I have his FB password and he has mine, he's on there posting about cars and watching stupid videos. I'm not sure why you are so adamant that he's cheating but you are seriously coming across as strange. Please stop trolling. My husband is really into the "stupid video" thing, LOL! But he doesn't ignore my texts to watch them via Facebook. Could it be that he just doesn't feel your texts are important? What are the nature of your texts? "What's up?", or "I REALLY need you to stop and get me a box of tampons on your way home. Text me back so I know you got this". After four years, how important is texting and how much do you rely on it to communicate? Just thinking out loud, good luck! Edited July 1, 2013 by MidwestUSA Typo
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 My husband is really into the "stupid video" thing, LOL! But he doesn't ignore my texts to watch them via Facebook. Could it be that he just doesn't feel your texts are important? What are the nature of your texts? "What's up?", or "I REALLY need you to stop and get me a box of tampons on your way home. Text me back so I know you got this". After four years, how important is texting and how much do you rely on it to communicate? Just thinking out loud, good luck! The texts are a bit of both, sometimes just chit chat, sometimes something I actually need an answer to. Honestly though, we don't rely on texting to communicate. I guess its not that important to me, I just don't like being "second best" to a website of all things haha. I don't think he's doing it to be rude or because he doesn't want to talk to me though. I just want to find a way to show him that he's hurting my feelings...
sillyanswer Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I've talked to him about it and he says he "doesn't see my texts" when he unlocks his phone. Well, if the communication is important and requires prompt attention then call him. Otherwise, just accept that text messaging isn't guaranteed to get an instant reply. Or message him on Facebook (but I suspect that'll be counterproductive). 2
CherryT Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 The texts are a bit of both, sometimes just chit chat, sometimes something I actually need an answer to. Honestly though, we don't rely on texting to communicate. I guess its not that important to me, I just don't like being "second best" to a website of all things haha. I don't think he's doing it to be rude or because he doesn't want to talk to me though. I just want to find a way to show him that he's hurting my feelings... Overall how is your communication like? If you live together and spend the majority of your time together and he's out and about for a few hours... he could just need a break. Not a break from you but just to be alone to do whatever. If facebook is a time killer for him, then let him do it. If you do have some communication issues then I can see how this whole Facebook-before-returning-text thing is just compounding the real issue. But if most of the time he's attentive, then I'd forget about it and perhaps you're being a little needy. I am in a LDR and my boyfriend and I have great communication. However, we both understand that we do have lives and if we're going to hang out with friends or go out during the day that we can't just be glued to our phones. There are times where we'll both take some time to answer each others text. It doesn't mean that person is not #1.
iris219 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 What kind of texts are you sending? Do they require an immediate and specific response? Some texts don't require responses, IMO. Have you told your bf that responding to your texts is important to you?
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Well, if the communication is important and requires prompt attention then call him. Otherwise, just accept that text messaging isn't guaranteed to get an instant reply. Or message him on Facebook (but I suspect that'll be counterproductive). I think that's a good idea. Sometimes when I try to call he doesn't answer either, but its usually when he's at work. I've tried the messaging him on FB thing but I just ended up yelling...
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Overall how is your communication like? If you live together and spend the majority of your time together and he's out and about for a few hours... he could just need a break. Not a break from you but just to be alone to do whatever. If facebook is a time killer for him, then let him do it. If you do have some communication issues then I can see how this whole Facebook-before-returning-text thing is just compounding the real issue. But if most of the time he's attentive, then I'd forget about it and perhaps you're being a little needy. I am in a LDR and my boyfriend and I have great communication. However, we both understand that we do have lives and if we're going to hang out with friends or go out during the day that we can't just be glued to our phones. There are times where we'll both take some time to answer each others text. It doesn't mean that person is not #1. Our communication could be better and I do feel like the FB thing is affecting it. I've tried to tell him several times that it bothers me but he brushes it off like its no big deal. He says that he doesn't even know I texted him and that if he had seen my text he would have answered it.
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 What kind of texts are you sending? Do they require an immediate and specific response? Some texts don't require responses, IMO. Have you told your bf that responding to your texts is important to you? Sometimes just random messages that don't need a response and sometimes important ones that I expect a response to, which is the ones I'm upset about. I have told him several times but he just says that he doesn't see my texts. He said that if he had seen the texts from me he would have responded.
iris219 Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 Sometimes just random messages that don't need a response and sometimes important ones that I expect a response to, which is the ones I'm upset about. I have told him several times but he just says that he doesn't see my texts. He said that if he had seen the texts from me he would have responded. Unless he somehow never sees anyone's texts, I'd say he's not being honest. How is it possible that he just happens to never see your texts? It would be funny to text him while you're together to see if he looks down at his phone. 1
Author sunmoonstars Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 Unless he somehow never sees anyone's texts, I'd say he's not being honest. How is it possible that he just happens to never see your texts? It would be funny to text him while you're together to see if he looks down at his phone. I guess I should have put this in my original post, but this isn't an all the time thing. Its probably about 50/50. Half the time he answers, the other half it takes him about 30 min-an hour to respond. He does eventually respond though. Its mostly when he's at work that he takes awhile to respond. It just bothers me that when he takes breaks at work I see him get on fb from his phone but he doesn't respond to me. He answers people's texts when we are together, but his friends call most of the time.
sillyanswer Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I have told him several times but he just says that he doesn't see my texts. He said that if he had seen the texts from me he would have responded. Not all phones are the same... but on my phone the symbol for "there's an unread text message" isn't different from the symbol for "there are many unread text messages from many people" so on days when I get lots of texts that are a mixture of spam, work, friends, dating etc I don't always notice if another text arrives if I'm not already on-top of all the texts that have already arrived. ... But, I'm always aware if there's at least one unread text on the phone just by glancing at the screen. So whether he's just getting several other texts and yours gets hidden amongst them and he just gets on with whatever he's doing, or whether he's deliberately ignoring you so that he can get on with whatever he's doing, I'm not sure. Maybe you and he just have different ideas about how much communication you need to have when you're apart. I'm sure that if you both want to communicate more you can figure out solutions to this problem.
MidwestUSA Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I guess I should have put this in my original post, but this isn't an all the time thing. Its probably about 50/50. Half the time he answers, the other half it takes him about 30 min-an hour to respond. He does eventually respond though. Its mostly when he's at work that he takes awhile to respond. It just bothers me that when he takes breaks at work I see him get on fb from his phone but he doesn't respond to me. He answers people's texts when we are together, but his friends call most of the time. Oh yikes. So now you're saying half the time he answers right away, and half the time it takes him 30 minutes to an hour because he's AT WORK! I think you really need to rethink this. I can see why he's treating it as if it's not a problem! 1
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