rebe Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 been in 2 year relation,LDR since 1 year, my bf broke up with me without giving me any reason when asked he said he dnt owe explanation to anybody. he was my first, true and only relation, 2 week before he asked for my pics, was forcing to marry , then suddenly became abusive and said I am ugly n not upto mark for him? we never ever had physical intimacy saving ourselves for marriage, now after breaking up he said he want to be intimate with me but with no love? he is planning to marry, though has not found any girl, but he said that he need me as his friend for his life. he is manipulating me everyday. he said he want to look to me as friend for whole life and also said that close friends help their friends even by sex? I dnt have clear sight of what he is upto. why he not let me go, why he want to use me without feelings n why he never think how hurt I be coz of his post break up demands. I would leave him instantaneously but I love him ,I try hard but neither forget nor can get angry.i am planning to remain single for whole life coz I cant replace him with any body, I had never loved anybody never dated.but what direction he is headed to, why he is not speaking up clearly whatever so as to make life easy for me, I am guilty of loving somebody so deeply.
hoping2heal Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 been in 2 year relation,LDR since 1 year, my bf broke up with me without giving me any reason when asked he said he dnt owe explanation to anybody. he was my first, true and only relation, 2 week before he asked for my pics, was forcing to marry , then suddenly became abusive and said I am ugly n not upto mark for him? we never ever had physical intimacy saving ourselves for marriage, now after breaking up he said he want to be intimate with me but with no love? he is planning to marry, though has not found any girl, but he said that he need me as his friend for his life. he is manipulating me everyday. he said he want to look to me as friend for whole life and also said that close friends help their friends even by sex? I dnt have clear sight of what he is upto. why he not let me go, why he want to use me without feelings n why he never think how hurt I be coz of his post break up demands. I would leave him instantaneously but I love him ,I try hard but neither forget nor can get angry.i am planning to remain single for whole life coz I cant replace him with any body, I had never loved anybody never dated.but what direction he is headed to, why he is not speaking up clearly whatever so as to make life easy for me, I am guilty of loving somebody so deeply. He isn't speaking up clearly to make life easy for you because he is only interested in making life easy for himself. He wants to use your feelings for him as a way to get you to have sex with him, meanwhile he plans to give you no commitment, no relationship, no love, and last but not least; no respect. He wants you for sex while he looks for someone he plans to marry. Don't let yourself get used in a way that you do not want just because you have feelings for him. Also, If I were you I would think very long and hard if the kind of person who would do that to you is someone you want as a "friend". 2
Author rebe Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 the things you pointed sounded suspicious to me in first instant. he is under medication for depression, so I get worried if my sudden withdrwl from this relation, dnt knw friend in his terms now, though it is optimum for my health as coz of his abuse I have had palpitations n anxiety, but how to overcome the feeling of guilt for leaving him in depression. I know for my best I have to leave asap but I want strong words to convince myself
hoping2heal Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 the things you pointed sounded suspicious to me in first instant. he is under medication for depression, so I get worried if my sudden withdrwl from this relation, dnt knw friend in his terms now, though it is optimum for my health as coz of his abuse I have had palpitations n anxiety, but how to overcome the feeling of guilt for leaving him in depression. I know for my best I have to leave asap but I want strong words to convince myself So, he has depression and you yourself are experiencing health problems due to the nature of your relationship. You want to offer support to him while he battles depression. Meanwhile, he's doing nothing but exacerbating your symptoms. He should have family and other friends whom he's not trying to use just for sex that can help him with the depression. There's no need to throw your own life and health into the toilet over a guy who has little to no care or concern for you. Is it your belief that if you just stick by him eventually one day he's going to decide he wants the same thing as you do? Be weary of that. The only message he'll truly get is that you are an easy being to manipulate.
justwhoiam Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 1) Don't waste any of your time with someone telling you that you're ugly. If I'm ugly, I already know, and I don't need anyone to remind me. Hence I find it pointless and unappealing. 2) Don't waste any of your time with anyone forcing you to do anything you don't feel like doing, unless you're nuts and don't feel like eating, and someone would force you to eat to keep living, etc. Those are basic simple rules you need to follow if you want to live a healthy life. 1
Author rebe Posted June 29, 2013 Author Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) So, he has depression and you yourself are experiencing health problems due to the nature of your relationship. You want to offer support to him while he battles depression. Meanwhile, he's doing nothing but exacerbating your symptoms. He should have family and other friends whom he's not trying to use just for sex that can help him with the depression. There's no need to throw your own life and health into the toilet over a guy who has little to no care or concern for you. Is it your belief that if you just stick by him eventually one day he's going to decide he wants the same thing as you do? Be weary of that. The only message he'll truly get is that you are an easy being to manipulate. self respect should outweigh my feeling of love ,i have to make a choice of being somebody who i am able to look at rather than a disposable object.he manipulated me by ignoring my strengths(my sense of self worth) and using my weakness of emotion. only tool he used over me is my own love for him, so i have to undo it if i want to live ,instead of being used or leading an unhealthy miserable life. your strong way of expression is helpful,if i will wander from my path now i will again read it. keep healing people, bless you Edited June 29, 2013 by rebe
Chris516 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 been in 2 year relation,LDR since 1 year, my bf broke up with me without giving me any reason when asked he said he dnt owe explanation to anybody. he was my first, true and only relation, 2 week before he asked for my pics, was forcing to marry , then suddenly became abusive and said I am ugly n not upto mark for him? we never ever had physical intimacy saving ourselves for marriage, now after breaking up he said he want to be intimate with me but with no love? he is planning to marry, though has not found any girl, but he said that he need me as his friend for his life. he is manipulating me everyday. he said he want to look to me as friend for whole life and also said that close friends help their friends even by sex? I dnt have clear sight of what he is upto. why he not let me go, why he want to use me without feelings n why he never think how hurt I be coz of his post break up demands. I would leave him instantaneously but I love him ,I try hard but neither forget nor can get angry.i am planning to remain single for whole life coz I cant replace him with any body, I had never loved anybody never dated.but what direction he is headed to, why he is not speaking up clearly whatever so as to make life easy for me, I am guilty of loving somebody so deeply. He has some serious issues!!!!
RedQueen Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 A lover should NEVER tell you you're 'ugly', your lover is the one who makes you feel like the most beautiful creature on the planet - regardless of whether you are or not! I wouldn't waste a nanosecond with someone who I even suspected wasn't drooling over me. What's the point? Find someone who cherishes you. 1
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