Aradia Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been dating 7 almost 8 months. We are perfect for each other and I do love him very much. And even though we haven't been together for long both of us were already talking of marriage. What I did: I have a child with my previous ex. Sunday before last he came by my house to drop our child off after having him for the weekend. He started talking with me a lil bit out on the porch of my house ..nothing serious just casual conversation. He is by the way dating a girl and engaged to be married. Anyway, out of the middle of no where he asked why there is always this tension between us..at first I was a bit confused as to what he meant. We have had quite a few disagreements and I thought he was referring to those. Too make a long story short he ended up asking me for sex and I turned him down. Nothing happened, no hug, kissing anything. He text me later that day telling me how hard it had been for him to leave and here is where I screwed up....I told him it was hard. and that I was going try and convince myself that it would have been a mistake. Didn't say anything explicit, didn't ask for him to come back or anything. I totally forgot about the convo and never deleted the texts from my phone..on the following Friday night my boyfriend got into my phone while I was asleep and read the texts. He said he would never be able to trust me again and that he was done. I apologized profusely and practically begged for a second chance. Contact after breakup: He, text me the Johnny Cash video , Solitary Man the next morning and some really horrid texts . He came by my work on Monday with some food I'd left in his fridge and a pair of jeans. There wasn't any talking to speak of he just tossed them down said, bye and walked out. I've been NC since Monday...I know what I did was horrible. I do take full responsibility for it. My ex, before this current relationship had fooled me several times over with breadcrumbs, which always led to sex then him disappearing again. Not gonna lie, I was kinda getting an ego boost out of finally being able to turn him down and in the process teasing him a bit. So freaking wrong I know. To the guys: Would you be able to forgive this? What should I do now? Should I apologize again? Thanks guys
Zahara Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 No need to apologize again. No matter what you say, all that's in his head is the exchange between you and your ex. In your mind, it's perceived as an ego boost, in his mind it is perceived as you having the urge to have sex with your ex. Don't try to make him see it your way by badgering him with an apology. He shouldn't have snooped but in a way, if was for his own good. Leave him alone. If he chooses to come back, he will. He'll have to forgive and come to some sort decision on his own.
athousandquestions Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Things could be worse, because you didn't actually do anything. But you still hurt him. If you care about him, I would write him a letter and drop it off in his mailbox. POUR your heart into this letter - you need to risk huge rejection if you care about this man as much as you say you do. Tell him you love him, explain that you turned him down, explain that you have NO urge to be with this man and what you meant was that it was hard to have the conversation with him (if you can pull off that white lie) Apologize out your ass and beg for forgiveness. Tell him you are so, so sorry and did not mean to hurt him. Tell him that you can understand if he wants space, but you will be there if he has any questions or needs to talk. Leave it at that. if he calls, he calls. if he doesn't, cut your losses and move on
SimonSerenade Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 You messed up, he might come back once he's had time to digest what's happened but you have to move on, plenty of good guys out there, draw a line under your ex and don't mess the next one up.
Recommended Posts