JustJana Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Do you think it's wrong to run a background check on potential dates?
mammasita Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I think that's extreme for a potential date. If things are progressing to something serious, I could understand that more. 1
Author JustJana Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 I have the ability to, and they wouldn't know. Would you tell someone you were going to? How much is too much? Google search, public records or more?
Fineshrine Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I always do a quick google search. Y'know just to check they're not a serial killer or something... Better safe than sorry!
The Shepherd Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 I always do a quick google search. Y'know just to check they're not a serial killer or something... Better safe than sorry! If you find someone suspicious enough for you to think that he is a serial killer, you might want to report them to the cops instead of doing Google searches and dating them or spying on them and creating law and order situations.
sillyanswer Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Do you think it's wrong to run a background check on potential dates? If you're talking about publicly available information (even if you're paying someone to collect it and report back to you) then I don't think that's "wrong" but it might be overkill for a first/early date. Do take steps to be safe, though, when meeting someone for the first time. The next question is: Are you going to disclose to your date that you're doing a background check on them? It sounds like you're looking for an honest and complete picture, so I'm hoping the answer is "yes". 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 I would do it if it was easy and if I am SERIOUSLY interested in dating him. For first few dates, I wouldn't care or be invested enough to bother. Interestingly enough, my mum works at an STD clinic and has an access to all STD records..hmm
pyramid Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 I do a thorough Google search and a public records check before meeting someone in person. At least 4-5 times it's caused me to avoid meeting people (one had been arrested for sex with minors; the other had 4 felonies on his record). The others claimed to be divorced but weren't. Oh and one guy had given a fake name (a very unique first name) - couldn't find any sign of him anywhere online. I was proceeding w/ caution on that one but then messaging died off anyway. Sometimes I can find/figure out their last name on my own, and in those cases I don't tell them I am looking. Otherwise I straight out ask for their full name and tell them I'm going to google. I've never had anyone avoid giving it to me.
Emilia Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 or more? are you suggesting databases you have access to? The answer to that is: yes it's wrong.
soccerrprp Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Wow. I've "googled" a bit for some, but I have been very fortunate to meet ladies who are what they have claimed to be. Phew! In reality, I simply find what i can while dating. Maybe I should start doing background checks???? Wow.
PogoStick Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 The next question is: Are you going to disclose to your date that you're doing a background check on them? It sounds like you're looking for an honest and complete picture, so I'm hoping the answer is "yes". It should be yes 1000x! It would only be proper for anyone who does a background check to provide one of themself to their date. While you're at it, send me your credit report and STD results. I think it's weird and invasive even if it is public info. Nobody was doing it 15 years ago so what makes it ok now? When we're in our relationship I bet she'll be checking my email and phone records too, maybe sneak a tracker on my mobile... Also, I loved my last 2 relationships much more specifically because of the trust I felt for them. I never passworded my computer or mobile, or logged out of my email accounts and don't think either of them took a peak.
rocketman122 Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 This is obviously a much more women trait to spy and check up on the man all the time. and doing the background check is nothing different id expect. My GF did and does it all the time. checks on me, tests me, googles me. anything she can. women are psycho's! this would be especially true of those who are obsessed with you. Its wrong to do so imo. I would not do it.
sillyanswer Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Also, I loved my last 2 relationships much more specifically because of the trust I felt for them. I never passworded my computer or mobile, or logged out of my email accounts and don't think either of them took a peak. The password on my mobile isn't to keep out my dates, but to stop my colleagues turning the wallpaper into a picture of a cock when I go to buy them a round of drinks at the bar.
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