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Girl discontinued conversation with me -- ignoring me -- and removed ALL Tumblr posts

lover4721

By lover4721
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lover4721 Established Member

lover4721

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Long story short - long distance girl has always been in long distance relationships for years, and doesn't want anyone local because she hates the town and the people in it. She loved me more than she loved this other guy who got killed by his parents, and she loved him. She said she would never leave and would prove me wrong about her leaving for someone else. Sends me very personal items (suicide notes, blade, and penguin her grandfather told her to give to someone special) along with other things. Her co-worker starts flirting and wanting to hangout. She goes to amusement park with people from work and then afterwards, she is so stressed all she does is sleep and doesn't message me. She said she had a good time actually being outside of the house... so I think she is stressing about who she really wants. Her Mom is friends with him... she hasn't even told her Mom about me, since a month+ dating and knowing each other. He changed default picture of her favorite thing, acoustic guitar... she finally likes it. He liked ALL of her photos - weird. She removed 'In love with Billy - he has my heart' and 'LDR' on Tumblr, along with literally like 50+ posts about me. (Talk about liking me...) I text her asking what's going on, just so she would go on OkCupid and see my 'Can we talk message' and not a single thing happened after that.

Supposedly we were in a relationship (she wanted one badly) and now I honestly don't know what's going on lol.

So...

 

A lot of main points are below!

 

Okay, so as lame as it sounds, we're both 20. She wrote a lot about me on her Tumblr and had her description "In love with Billy - my heart is taken by him"

 

So here is the whole story! As you guys know, I get screwed with pretty badly.

So she REALLY liked me... she wrote so much about me through messages, we had long webcam sessions, and she even sent me a care box with (a penguin her grandfather gave her and said 'Wherever this goes with you, I'll go with. Give it to someone special.'; a suicide note she had written when she was younger (her family isn't close at all); and a small blade she used to cut with, along with other personal stuff. So no one has ever seen those 'sides of her life' before except me. She had a lot of long distance relationships. On Twitter, she had favorited a status that said 'I'd rather be on Skype with my boyfriend than date anyone in this town." That was a year ago she had favorited that.

 

She wrote so many messages about me, how I'm better than her other guy that she absolutely loved. She said 'I, as in myself, would probably leave her before she left me. I have a very high doubt that this is happening because of everything we had shared. Although, this was distance relationship, which didn't matter because she had 3 of them... because she was never allowed to leave the house (special needs sister and controlling parents)

 

Anyhow, we were very fine until this co-worker of hers got a little flirty. She said they were running around putting icing on each others faces... lol. A few more other weird things. Like he would keep saying her name as he passed her, so then she did it. (Somehow unconsciously, I was doing that to my cousin a few hours after)

Like come on? She said it wasn't flirting, she doesn't like him at all.

 

So she went to the carnival with people the woman she works with knew. She didn't message me back until the next morning about it. She was excited to get out of the house (her parents don't really let her) and then... she became drowsy all the time. She kept saying she hasn't eaten ever, feels like throwing up, and just sleeps and sleeps. So I let her alone until she was feeling good... so she had messaged me and said "I guess you found someone new... Billy, what happened?"

 

I replied within 10 minutes, but she was offline the same minute she had sent it. I think she knew I wasn't going to reply because last message she said "Billy I miss you. I hope you're doing alright. I love you." but I never replied. I'm so stupid for giving her space. She was upset because her father was going to bug her about what she is doing with her life, and her Mom was bugging her about this job.

 

So now... she removed everything on Tumblr... except a post on Facebook talking about me. She still has 'seeing someone' on OkCupid, but hasn't been on since she removed the 50 posts about me lol.

 

So the co-worker put up a new default picture of his guitar and him... and she liked it. She plays the guitar and she basically cries when she see's her idol (Jonas brothers) play the guitar. lol.. So my guesses, they were talking last night or something? Also, her Mother is friends with him... she never told her Mom about me... and supposedly she was crazy over me?

 

So I'm guessing I somehow screwed this up, but I knew this was going to happen because I'm a few hours away from her (not too far) and her co-worker lives in her area. Ha. But she kept saying she didn't care about him and she was sticking with me and she was going to 'prove me wrong' but I'm guessing she proved me right.

 

This had happened with last summer girl - she was going to the movies with some kid. Then her enemy actually - she had someone behind my back as I left her college I traveled to. And now this...

 

Does it seem like I have hope? She is friends with a Ben and an Adam, that likes her photos all the time, and she likes theirs. So maybe I'm overthinking it and they are just friends? I doubt it. I'm guessing he went to the amusement park with her... then had a blast because she was hanging out with people. The stress worried her about what she is going to do with me and who she really wants.

 

She would never be on OkCupid.

 

So anyhow, last night when I saw everything happen, I texted her asking what's going on. On OkCupid, I asked 'Can we please talk?' but she had not replied to any messages... Supposedly we were in a relationship, but she took down her LDR part on her Tumblr... so now I'm just confused and cannot think clearly and I need outside advice (like always as you can tell by now) again.

 

I'm like the nicest and most respectful guy but I don't see what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I don't have any trust with people she knows (he was flirting and wanted to hang too) and somehow she ends up going with them?

Edited by lover4721
Sunshine87 Established Member

Sunshine87

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How long were you together for/ how long have you been together for?

Lansing Established Member

Lansing

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Umm, hopefully someone else can figure out what you posted but have you ever met this girl in real life? Sounds like a "virtual" relationship...

 

Hope someone else has some advice for you but I think you need to meet a girl in your own city, a real girl that you hang out with in person. What is the point of having an LDR with someone you don't see?

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lover4721 Established Member

lover4721

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Sorry, I can't edit.

 

And honestly, she isn't the girl to do this lol. The others were... but this girl was hurt very badly in the past. Her family isn't too close and she had a lot of people leave her. I just really don't think she would replace me this fast. I'm just kinda wondering if my mind is just exploding or not. She didn't text me back nor has she messaged me or even signed on.

 

How long were you together for/ how long have you been together for?

Same question lol -- eh, not too long? Month and a few days?

 

Umm, hopefully someone else can figure out what you posted but have you ever met this girl in real life? Sounds like a "virtual" relationship...

 

Hope someone else has some advice for you but I think you need to meet a girl in your own city, a real girl that you hang out with in person. What is the point of having an LDR with someone you don't see?

Correct haha sounds like what it is, a long distance relationship. But her Mom would freak out if she left the house lol so she was slowly gaining friends and hanging out with them, and then was coming to meet me. We had things planned. It is definitely not a far drive to see each other.

 

I know everyone in my city... and almost everyone around my city. My sister tells me I've dated everyone in this city about 10 miles away. No one pleases me - I'm not attracted to anyone around here. I don't live in a popular area with tons of women.

 

Even if I would find someone near me... I'm still stuck in this relationship. I will continue to go back and reflect on it and what went wrong, and ALWAYS putting myself down for my mistakes when in reality, they went for other people. So I'm trying to see if this is worth it... if I could correct my mistakes before I have another regret in my life. I will not screw this girl over like people have done to her. So, I am wondering what went wrong and how to gain some type of closure.

 

I think you're right though. I need to get out of my shy stage first and get myself together first. But, I'm really wanting friends because that is what I need... they will teach me who I really am. And that is what I was trying to achieve with this LDR but now I'm just confused lol I need to work on one thing at a time.

Edited by lover4721
pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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Wow. Well, firstly, it sounds like a guy she has access to in real life won out over a guy she only talks to online. No big surprise there.

 

Secondly, you can do better than someone who sends you suicide notes. Holy cow.

 

You guys both sound pretty inexperienced.

 

You should let her go, and find someone you can build an actual in-person relationship with.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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I know everyone in my city... and almost everyone around my city. My sister tells me I've dated everyone in this city about 10 miles away. No one pleases me - I'm not attracted to anyone around here. I don't live in a popular area with tons of women.

 

Any options for moving? Going to college in another city?

 

I will continue to go back and reflect on it and what went wrong, and ALWAYS putting myself down for my mistakes when in reality, they went for other people. So I'm trying to see if this is worth it... if I could correct my mistakes before I have another regret in my life.

 

It's not you. It's your age. People in their teens and early twenties are trying to figure out who they are, and switching partners and hurting people is unfortunately often a part of that.

 

But, I'm really wanting friends because that is what I need... they will teach me who I really am. And that is what I was trying to achieve with this LDR but now I'm just confused lol I need to work on one thing at a time.

 

Don't be hard on yourself.

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lover4721 Established Member

lover4721

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Wow. Well, firstly, it sounds like a guy she has access to in real life won out over a guy she only talks to online. No big surprise there.

 

Secondly, you can do better than someone who sends you suicide notes. Holy cow.

 

You guys both sound pretty inexperienced.

 

You should let her go, and find someone you can build an actual in-person relationship with.

 

That is always something common but she had guy friends earlier and dated a guy from Tennessee for about two years. She doesn't even know her co-worker either.

Her life was very difficult. Her parents don't support her at all and she really wanted to commit suicide. :/

 

Any options for moving? Going to college in another city?

 

 

 

It's not you. It's your age. People in their teens and early twenties are trying to figure out who they are, and switching partners and hurting people is unfortunately often a part of that.

 

 

 

Don't be hard on yourself.

 

Yes, we were actually thinking about this - not too seriously though. She had mentioned "If we knew each other longer, we could move in together because I want to get out of this town." She wasn't serious about it... just mentioning it. And I had mentioned we could go to college somewhere together, but she feels like she owes her Dad, because he paid $25,000 for college and some girl made a rumor and got her kicked out lol. So that is why she is not moving away.

 

I'm trying to not be hard on myself. :p But it keeps happening... and I basically don't have any hope anymore. Maybe I took this relationship into the dumps?

 

It's easy for someone to say 'move on' without knowing the relationship between the two people. I mean, I haven't felt that way forever, and she had said the same thing like 100 times. So it is difficult to really think I need to find someone who would make me feel like that.

Last year summer girl, she was crazy about me too. She did not live far either, maybe 50 miles, and now is going to college near me.

 

I don't know. It's like I need to start over again with finding someone that means just as much as she did, and as crazy as that sounds. lol. I know I'm 20 but I am motivated and moved by other people... without people that care for me, I'm pretty much just a regular kid that doesn't have much energy.

 

 

So update, she was on OkCupid (finally) but no message yet. She may be typing which means she has a long paragraph about what is wrong with her and I so I'm getting nervous. haha I hate that feeling where there is one less person that cares for me. I'm odd haha I'm a people person for sure.

 

So now I won't look at her profile because if I see she is offline or she switched her relationship status, I'd pretty much feel like **** for a few hours until I get over it.

 

I only find people that REALLY care about me during the summer. Last summer, she was obsessed but chased the wrong guy she had said. So I waited until this summer... and oddly enough, this girl showed up.

Edited by lover4721
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lover4721 Established Member

lover4721

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So she said 'About?' when I asked her if we could talk. I said 'You and I?'

 

And she said 'You don't want me anymore do you?'

 

I said 'I do... I never said I didn't. Now, you not wanting me is what I want to talk about.'

 

And she said 'That's what it feels like though...'

 

Probably because we haven't messaged for a while.

 

I told her to really think about what I feel for a while and she said lonely. I said kinda but confused, etc.

 

But she just now said she hasn't felt any emotion for the past two weeks. She said not for anyone or anything.

 

It kinda seems like she is trying to say she doesn't feel for me anymore. Just to get rid of me.

FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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Why don't you find someone who is emotionally healthy? This girl has too much drama.

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lover4721 Established Member

lover4721

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Why don't you find someone who is emotionally healthy? This girl has too much drama.

 

I just think that would be kinda rude since her and I are talking again. She does have a lot of family drama, but to turn away from her and kinda tell her bye - seems rude to me :/ I'm a guy with a lot of respect and I just can't get away.

 

I have depersonalization disorder ( I don't like the term 'disorder', because for ADD, we all have trouble focusing ) and this makes me very difficult to get over situations. My mind will race for ever, until I feel like a robot and I have no emotions to do anything, or to not do anything. It's difficult to explain. So I wouldn't be very happy to just go find someone who is emotionally healthy.

 

We started talking but she feels numb and emotionless for the past two weeks. Really, I don't know what is happening. haha

Edited by lover4721
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