Scarlett_girl Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 my bf of two years is being a real a**h*** lately.. a month ago..my grandmother had a very bad stroke..i had lived with her so i was very very close to her..so i've been at the hospital with her everyday with my mom and i'm in university so i still have do all of my school work and research etc..on top of that last week i had a terrible flu and could get any school work done..with midterm this week i've been super stressed and trying to do everything..it was his sisters b-day friday and i told him i couldnt go to her b-day supper cuz i was so behind in school work i wanted to study but i told him i could drop by for a minute..he said NO it was a stupid idea and then got off the phone.. a little while later i egt an email form him telling me that I give him a cold feeling, that I never have any time for him, that he feels there's no chemistry between us and that we don't express our love for eahc other..i was so mad..he knows how stressed i've been...he's seen me cry for all this stress and yet he was so inconsiderate as to email me and blame me for not spending all my time with him?!?!? how insensitive can someone be?
abbyroadme Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 For him to be like that to you was very immature. When I am stressed out, my boyfriend tries to help me out or will give me my spacel. As well as I would do the same for him. If your boyfriend won't do that for you....maybe he is not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Adunaphel Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Has he been there for you in the last month when you needed him? Has he tried to be of some support? He has probably felt ignored for the last month but he knew you were having big problems.... if he has been supportive of you and understanding of the very stressful situation you were in, forgive him. When your partner has been having problems for a long period of time, it is quite a while you have been trying hard to be supportive of him/her, you have done your best to be there for him/her, you have never complained but rather you have been understanding if he/she has not time to see you and is acting distant, unaffective or even treating you badly, it is difficult to handle te situation in a mature way *all*the time. How long has your bf been acting like that? Of course if your bf was like that from the beginning, he is an insensitive jerk. If it's just in the last days.... perhaps he is not one, he is just feeling unloved and hurt - and if he is feeling hurt he is probably unable to put himself in your shoes at the moment. How long have you been together?
Author Scarlett_girl Posted October 17, 2004 Author Posted October 17, 2004 it's been 2 years that we have been together..but we have been having some problems since the summer...generally..everytime something happens(like a fight or disagreement) he tends to blameme or brush off my concerns.. when he started dating he was super amazing he would do the sweetest things but..i can't even remember when the last time he did something super sweet was...about the way he has been supotive in the last month..he has come to see my grandmother once...when I was sick, he came by for 10 minutes before he went out with his friends..
Adunaphel Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 That really sucks This guy does not seem good 'relationship material'. Childish, immature....and selfish. How can he complain you have no time for him when he has actually done nothing to be supportive of you given the situation you are in? I'm sorry you have been going through all this stress without your bf not being there for you. It's not like he had not the time, since he did found the time to see his friends when you were ill! It sounds like you'd be better with a guy like him out of your life, sorry. I hope your granmother is better now.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted October 17, 2004 Author Posted October 17, 2004 thanks for the advice..i know that you are right..i haven spekn to him at all today..i'm not calling him I'm so mad.. when he calls..i'll tell him how inconsiderate i thought he was and that if he feels "there's no chemistry with us" then we shouldnt be together anymore.. it's so weird though..we've been together for 2 years u know?
Sukotto Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Well maybe the shock of your words will cause him to get his act together. Dont settle for promises of changes, take some time apart, maybe until the holidays and see how he is there.
johan Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Nope, I don't buy the "dump him" advice at all. What are you going to do, move on and find a guy who won't ever be selfish or demanding? You're dealing with a real guy here. Don't pretend Mr. Right is around the corner. Your best bet is Mr. Someone I Can Work With, and then be prepared to work. This is how good relationships go. The bad ones just fall apart. There should be some allowance for things to get tough in your relationship when other things in life interfere. Don't expect him to be perfect. You haven't been. Have you just wanted him to be strong and not hassle you, while you deal with all this? Did you ever let him know that you cared that things were keeping you distracted from your relationship? Did you offer any kind of payback? Some kind of plan for what you would like to do together to re-connect when all this stressful stuff passes? Maybe he just feels like he can't rely on you to be there for him or to even care how he feels about stuff. It's not all your fault, but you and he are missing some communication links. You could work this out, and then you would have a LOT more faith in your relationship.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted October 17, 2004 Author Posted October 17, 2004 he and i have been having "communication issues" for a while..he never wants to discuss problems in our relationship and IF by some miracle he does wanna talk about them, he blames me ..I don't understand him, I don't give him enough of my time etc etc. so ya..this was for me..the final straw cuz i'm 20. I don't need this kind of stress in a relationship, i'm not looking to get married! if a relationship sn't making you happy any more..why should you stay in it?
Recommended Posts