BTCD Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I Have never posted on any site like this before, but for some reason I feel like I have to now. My Ex cheated on my and now wants to get back to gether with me. Heres the story. About 2 months ago she broke up with me, there were definitely problems in the realtionship for a few months before that and we definitely had communication issues. When she broke up with me she told me about stuff i did wrong but also a lot about how she felt she was doing things wrong too. Two and half months go by and i turn my life around trying to get her to take me back, we still dated but something just wasnt right and i had a feeling that she wasnt being honest with me. Our old roomate told me that she wasnt being honest and that she had cheated on me. I confronted her and told her i knew everything. Apparently after she cheated and broke up with me she slept with the guy again (both incidents were done during near blackout drunk condition, not an excuse but i need to give all the facts) also during this time when we were broken up she slept with someone else, she doesnt even remember (again, no excuse but was during a complete blackout drunk condition.) She told me immediately about the random guy ri but never told me about the cheating claiming she didnt know how to and was scared too. My question is now should i consider working on the realtionship? I love her very much and have always felt she is the one, but im no idiot, i have no trust in her. She has stopped drinking, is going to thearpy and is doing all this because i asked her too. Im obviously heartbroken and really angry and hurt, its only been a week since i found out. Any advice?
aliveagain Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Why do you want to resume a relationship with someone that has alcohol problems and cheats? How can she ever make you feel safe? She hasn't even been willing to take responsibilities for her actions. She needs to come clean on everything, if she keeps secrets from you your relationship will fail anyway. She knew what she did but took the cowards way out, she would rather break up with you than face you about her infidelity. She felt so bad about what she did with him that she banged him again. I don't see any remorse here friend. She only agreed to get help after you pressured her to do so. This is the woman you want to settle down and have children with?
SimonSerenade Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Don't do it man, there's no excuse for cheating and it would take everything you got to forgive her and move passed it, a relationship without trust will fall on its ass time and time again, she would have to put 110% in to the relationship and have the understanding that you can't just moved passed what she did in a matter of weeks or even months, if she can commit to all that then it might be worth giving it another go, ultimately it's your choice.
aliveagain Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 If she cheats this early in your relationship what will she be like in year 10 when some of the excitement has faded? It takes 2-5 years for most betrayed spouse's to get over being cheated on(you will never, ever forget), is this something you are both willing to do? Will she be transparent, truthful, give you access to her phone, email so you know that she is faithful? She is not who you thought she was, this is the real her.
hoping2heal Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 She has stopped drinking, is going to thearpy and is doing all this because i asked her too. Im obviously heartbroken and really angry and hurt, its only been a week since i found out. Any advice? She should be doing it because she's had the realization that her self-destructive behavior is a problem, not because she hopes it will win you back. If or until that day comes you're looking at more problems.
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