Boogie Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Well...it's been two months (and one day) since we took my father to the hospital for a heart attack...the story, in a nutshell, is that my fiancee's parents (mostly her father) hounded her and I until something broke. Who'da thunk it would be my father. The links below are my original posts: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t45443/ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t45978/ The wrap-up, so to speak, is that I retrieved (actually, was brought) all my things, including the ring, from/by my fiancee and (duh) am no longer engaged. My father has had two surgeries (the first was extremely risky and he pulled through, thank god, and the second was a follow-up that really insured he would get better). Yesterday was two months for him in ICU. He's on the mend and will pull through (with some help from the man upstairs and the NY Yankees ). I've basically severed all ties with my ex-fiancee and have done a lot of internal examination as to why I was with a woman who was really, for all intents and purpose, never happy with anything (not just me). I did a lot of soul-searching and can't really figure out why I stayed with her, especially given her parents' proclivity for stupidity and control, but once I had gotten her out of my system, I realized I didn't really love her and that her parents did me a favor (aside from my father's situation). I've been getting involved with another woman who is, in many ways, my ex's opposite: funny, full of personality, sexy, sophisticated, intelligent, confident, hip and secure. Like my ex, this woman is supportive (she's been great with regard to my father's situation as well as the ancillary stuff my family's gone through), secure in our relationship (can't rattle her or get her jealous -- she knows I'm as crazy about her as she is about me), and honest -- everything we've discussed (not just the 'nice' stuff) convinces me she's the real deal. Oh...and her family is as great as her...very cool, down-to-earth people. Unfortunately, at this point, I've had to become pretty careful regarding potential partner's families as well as the partners themselves. Now that I've gotten all that out of the way -- how do I know if she's the right one, or if this is just me coming out of a horrific, awful situation (ie a broken engagement) only two short months ago? She and I click on all levels and I find myself thinking about her all the time. She knows 100% of my recent past with the ex and she knows I want nothing to do with the ex. So what is the right timetable for proceeding? Sometimes I want she and I to just sorta coast and enjoy the here and now, but there are other times when I find myself wishing I had never met my ex and had met this woman three years ago so I would have been married to her already. Sorry for the length of this post...it's sort of stream-of-consciousness...but what I've been through, and what I look forward to, is too big and too out there for me to contain it and/or to really comprehend it all. And when I indicated I had three wishes (my father to be healthy, my family to be intact and for me to find a wonderful woman) I wasn't anticipating the last wish to come through so quickly... Thanks for reading :-) -B-
SoleMate Posted October 29, 2004 Posted October 29, 2004 So what is the right timetable for proceeding? Just fast enough, but not too fast. There. I hope that helped. Seriously, don't rush into marriage and kids with someone who is 2 months on the rebound. Keep it lowkey and give her time to heal.
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