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How important is a best friend's approval?


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Posted

I met my bf's best friend about a month ago briefly, and last night the 3 of us spent a few hours together relaxing and having drinks. Keep in mind, these guys are incredibly close friends, they hang out a lot and discuss absolutely everything. They trust each other in every way.

 

We talked and got along great (me and the best friend). He asked some relatively personal questions about my dating past, almost as if he was screening me for "crazy bitch syndrome" or if I was a serial dater, lol. He made it very clear that my bf is not a player and does not cheat or treat women badly.

 

Just before he was leaving he looked at my bf and said, "Can I be honest about my opinion?" (referring to me). My bf just laughed and said "Sure, fire away." The best friend went on to say that I am the first person/friend, including other girls and ex-wife my bf has introduced him to that he actually likes and enjoys hanging out with.

 

This was flattering and a little unnerving too. It makes me wonder if men actually seek approval about their girlfriends from their male best friends? I mean, what if he didn't like me? Would that potentially change the path of the relationship?

Posted

I will speak for myself, it's not decisive but it's still important.

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Posted

Who knows? But he gave you a nice compliment, so just roll with it and enjoy yourself.

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Posted

Thanks for the replies.

 

I suppose I have just never considered whether it mattered much. I mean, I've asked other gfs before of their opinion of a bf and they always say "He's fine." almost as though they are obligated. I really didn't care a lot about their opinion if I was really into the guy.

 

Last night, after his friend left, my bf was much closer to me. He's always been affectionate and caring, but something was different. We talked more intimately, about more private things in detail. We were tangibly closer.

 

I've known that there is a "bros before hos" code and though I find it a little bit insulting, its nonetheless honourable. Perhaps an "approval" process is similar.. in that if the best friend respects me, then he doesn't suspect that I'm a ho and gonna break his best bud's heart?

 

Do men really think this way?

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