hoping2heal Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 He said that God is #1 in his life, and non-believers are Satan, but he followed the bible with his own "twist". 1/ He told a lot of lies to hide his true colors, but he thought it's ok to tell lies if it does not hurt anyone. 2/ No sex before marriage. He did everything you can imagine a couple would do in a bed room except intercourse, and he thought that no intercourse = no sin. 3/ No affair after marriage. He broke up with me right before his wedding so that he will not have an affair after getting married. Oh my god...(no pun intended) but honestly just WOW. I know you cared about this person, or at least who he presented himself to be but in hindsight can you understand how lucky you are that you didn't end up with him in the long-term? These twisted and completely whacked out justifications are not going to stop once he's married. I can only imagine what he's going to do his wife and children and I'm not talking about even in terms of fidelity. He sounds flat out scary to be honest. 1
Exitleft Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 This is a seriously heartbreaking situation. I am so sorry. It's actually great that you found out for your own closure. I hope you're doing better today.
Author lotus85 Posted July 3, 2013 Author Posted July 3, 2013 There is one thing in my case I still can not understand why. Someone pls explain it for me. He broke up with me used his PhD as the excuse, so I don't understand why he showed up at my house and told lies when I found out about his wedding. After telling lies to deny his wedding, he told me to move on and take care of my life. I just can't understand what his intention for doing that. Is that because he does not want to look bad in my eyes? But what is that for?
Arabella Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 There is one thing in my case I still can not understand why. Someone pls explain it for me. He broke up with me used his PhD as the excuse, so I don't understand why he showed up at my house and told lies when I found out about his wedding. After telling lies to deny his wedding, he told me to move on and take care of my life. I just can't understand what his intention for doing that. Is that because he does not want to look bad in my eyes? But what is that for? Because he didn't want to feel the guilt of making you feel betrayed and hurt... 1
flitzanu Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 There is one thing in my case I still can not understand why. Someone pls explain it for me. He broke up with me used his PhD as the excuse, so I don't understand why he showed up at my house and told lies when I found out about his wedding. After telling lies to deny his wedding, he told me to move on and take care of my life. I just can't understand what his intention for doing that. Is that because he does not want to look bad in my eyes? But what is that for? because he's not going to admit he's lying to you, duh. doesn't matter how much evidence you have, he's going to deny it until he dies. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted July 3, 2013 Posted July 3, 2013 Now I see all the red flags which I overlooked during my relationship. 1/ He was always busy even in holidays. He used the excuses that PhD requires a lot of time consuming. 2/ The days we hang out were randomly. 3/ He always found a way for everyone knew that 'this girl is mine'. He hold my hands everywhere and everytime we went out. At the beginning of my school quarters, he took me to my classes and waited in front of my classes so that my classmates knew that I had a boyfriend. 4/ He was extremely jealous. He was jealous with every guys in my classes since I'm Electrical Engineering major so most of my classmates were men. He kept saying that he was sure there were lot of guys like me because I'm beautiful. He was even jealous with his brother. His brother visited from other country, so I asked him if he took his brother visit some places. I wanted to show that I cared about his family. He then called me around 5 am and told me he had a nightmare and could not go back to sleep. He said his nightmare was that he and his brother was sitting in the same room, but I only talked to his brother. (How crazy!) See how that works? The red flags will keep flooding in. You'll never forgt them to watch for future men. 1
Talulah Posted July 4, 2013 Posted July 4, 2013 OMG the secrets people keep! I am so sorry that happened to you. I think that you did the classy thing and did not break their wedding (that karma would have been on you). People are so selfish, it's scary.
Author lotus85 Posted July 4, 2013 Author Posted July 4, 2013 I was upset, sad, and angry those last few days. However, I recognized that the more I wondered why this why that, the more I got lock in the circle. The more I was angry, the more I hurted myself. I decided that I will not tell his bride-to-be because I don't want to deal with drama. I will move on with my life and leave my ex and this girl in the past. Close this chapter of my life. Thanks everyone for your advices and encouragements. I really appreciate that.
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