Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Oh thems just jokes! There is a grain of truth in every joke
Phantom888 Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 It means he doesn't know what he wants, but he wants all the perks of having a girlfriend without having to put in any effort. 1
Frogwife Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 What does it mean when a guy says this?: It means the same thing it does when women say it... I JUST had a near-identical conversation with a guy I started seeing! Hopefully he's heeding my warning...
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 Why are you tripping so hard on a dude you have only been on two dates with? And why are you even talking about exclusivity? He's a virgin yet you think he's trying to use you for sex? Is it possible you are over-analyzing? I'm not, although I can see why you'd think that's the case. I wasn't talking about exclusivity with him. I was just telling him what I wanted in general. And yeah haha possible that I'm over-analysing but everyone's replies on here seem to spell bad news.
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 It means he doesn't know what he wants, but he wants all the perks of having a girlfriend without having to put in any effort. Maybe this is closer to the truth. Hm when we talked about what we want in a boyfriend or girlfriend, I said I knew exactly what I wanted, and he said he was still figuring it out. Well I won't give him all the perks so that's not going to happen. Phantom, how do you suggest I approach this situation? I know I should open myself up to other options at the very least. It's probably a bad idea to go with someone who doesn't know what he wants anyway.
leoc1973 Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I have had a girl try to push me to be in a relationship before I knew if I even liked her. Some guys move a little slower about committing because they take a commitment seriously. Others will tell you that "sure we are boyfriend/girlfriend" and after sex they don't think twice about dumping you. Some people feel you have to test drive a car before you buy it. Some women are absolutely horrible in bed. And after you have committed to being withthem and then they have sex with you then you are the jerk for not wanting to be with a sexual misfit. There is no right answer here but don't dismiss this guy yet. He may be genuine. Also you say that he is coming to your hometown? which means he's away? He may be lookin for some booty while he's in town. Remember... A lot of guys will say anything and act any way that you want them to to get laid. Be careful and use your gut not your heart. If something seems "off" to you it usually is. But when a guy REALLY likes you. Like one of the previous poster said rent he's just not that into you. The main girl does a great job of showing how to scare a guy away. When you are strong and respect yourself guys will pick up on that and they will treat you with respect. If you are a floosy then no matter how hot you are guys are gonna use you up and throw you out.
Treasa Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 How are these conversations even coming up? Is he saying these things completely out of the blue? Are you saying things that are prompting him to reply? My God, two dates. Just relax. I think he means exactly what he says. That he wants to date you, but take things slow, which is perfectly normal for two dates. I mean, I probably spent more time with my new hires this week than you've actually spent with this guy. I say cut the guy some slack. I don't think he's trying to play you or get into your pants. 3
MidwestUSA Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Readings that made me dizzy. I lost my decoder, but it doesn't sound promising. Maybe FWB?
TheGuard13 Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 He's basically saying "I don't know how I feel about you, but it's not a ton of chemistry". Why would you ask a guy who isn't sure how he feels about you to make a concrete decision after two dates? That seems kind of silly to me.
Author thecrucible Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 He's basically saying "I don't know how I feel about you, but it's not a ton of chemistry". Why would you ask a guy who isn't sure how he feels about you to make a concrete decision after two dates? That seems kind of silly to me. I know, right? I think this whole thing has messed up. I've definitely cooled off now. I really have. I can't believe I got worked up about something so silly....but I feel like I've killed it by getting too sexual too fast (please note we have not had sex but got a bit sexual online and there is a lot of sexual tension). While there is sexual tension, I have no idea what kind of emotional connection we have. I want to have sex with him but I want him to respect me and I just don't know what to do. I could risk getting hurt but nothing means more to me than my self-respect and reputation - do not want to be known as easy girl. Because it's already been pushed in sexual direction, it's like that has to happen to clear this up. He's pushing for more sexual stuff (which makes sense since it's already going in that direction) but at the same time I want more romance and it's like the mixed messages I've sent have thrown it off. Because I let it get sexual at all before a bond was formed emotionally, it's possible that there's not enough there to hold the guy there after sex, even though he says he is interested in me for more than my body. ahh confusing He has told me that he can't fall in love with me before sex, and to him I think he's implied that a girl would feel like a girlfriend to him if sex was part of it too. He's not had a girlfriend before, but has female friends...so I think he's working out what kind of connection we have... My intuition is telling me "something isn't quite right about this".
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