thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 What does it mean when a guy says this?: i said that i wanted to see how things worked out, which is true, but I also don't want to hurt you in the future, so what I'm trying to say is that I can't commit to something now, I can't say yes I'll be around forever, I may be but I can't say for definite, i don't have the intention of this being short term, or dating or long-term I want to take it as it goes, and at the same time I don't want to promise something now that I may break in the future
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 Does hearing this from a guy who's never been in a relationship change the meaning or is it still the same thing?
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Just friends with benefits, it's just a song and dance, lot of guys are vague like this on their intentions and plans just to withhold any commitment but get what they want in the meantime. He's just telling you not to get emotional invested so when he dumps you later on for some reason or other (reason doesn't matter it'll be half-truth or fabricated), you won't feel too hurt and he won't feel too guilty. Guys don't want drama and they don't like to feel like they're using you...so he's just giving you a fair mans shake of a warning basically....likely because it bit him in the @ss in the past and he's trying to prevent that. 5
Balzac Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Does hearing this from a guy who's never been in a relationship change the meaning or is it still the same thing? Soooo he's a sexual virgin, correct?
sweetkiwi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 That he's not going to commit to anything beyond "fun" and "right now". 4
MrCastle Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Just friends with benefits, it's just a song and dance, lot of guys are vague like this on their intentions and plans just to withhold any commitment but get what they want in the meantime. He's just telling you not to get emotional invested so when he dumps you later on for some reason or other (reason doesn't matter it'll be half-truth or fabricated), you won't feel too hurt and he won't feel too guilty. Guys don't want drama and they don't like to feel like they're using you...so he's just giving you a fair mans shake of a warning basically....likely because it bit him in the @ss in the past and he's trying to prevent that. Well you don't have to give them our secrets, man. 2
carhill Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 If he's consistent with that kind of talk, there's overwhelming reason why he hasn't had a successful relationship of any length, if true. He's predicting the outcome at the outset. It's a 'bad sell' at almost every level, does zero to inspire confidence in a potential dating partner, and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Date someone who likes relationships and wants to have one, for comparison purposes. Also, if not already done, let go of your past actions as mitigating circumstances for seeking healthy relationships today. The past is the past. Good luck 1
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 Soooo he's a sexual virgin, correct? yeah he is
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Well you don't have to give them our secrets, man. Up your game son! 5
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 If he's consistent with that kind of talk, there's overwhelming reason why he hasn't had a successful relationship of any length, if true. He's predicting the outcome at the outset. It's a 'bad sell' at almost every level, does zero to inspire confidence in a potential dating partner, and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't worry I have not had sex with him. I have already told him that I would only have sex with someone if I was in a serious relationship, and I will keep to my word. That doesn't mean I'll let him call me his girlfriend without anything else. Then he gave me all this talk about romance, and that he hopes I haven't cancelled date we have on Sunday. Then told me he'd call on Saturday to arrange the date. He is coming to visit my hometown, and he told me that he wants to go on another date after that. He also told me that he really likes me. I am confused because to me it sends mixed signals. You know I will still him on Sunday but I will press him for an answer. I will let him know that I do not ever do friends-with-benefits. I would never do that because my heart can't handle that crap.
ThomasD Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Sounds like something he learned in management school. Refuses to stand for anything, much less take any responsibility, but hopes to reap big returns. He considers you like some kind of employee or underling. 1
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 Here's another thing that he said. Please give me your interpretation: okay this may sound a bit big headed, but if we did become a couple, and somewhere down the line, I wanted to break up, that would hurt you if the break up wasn't mutual, likewise if you decided down the line that I wasn't for you, then I think I'd be hurt. Yeah thanks for your replies. I am feeling rather on edge and I'm glad I asked here. Getting so bloody tired of men only wanting me for sex. The fact that most men think I'm pretty, doesn't make them any less likely to have that attitude...aarghh I don't get this guy at all...arrghh but maybe the answer is staring me in the face and I don't want to admit.
sweetkiwi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Yeah thanks for your replies. I am feeling rather on edge and I'm glad I asked here. Getting so bloody tired of men only wanting me for sex. The fact that most men think I'm pretty, doesn't make them any less likely to have that attitude...aarghh I don't get this guy at all...arrghh but maybe the answer is staring me in the face and I don't want to admit. You need to rent the movie He's Just Not that Into You. Watch it, take notes, learn. 1
shexy Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 It's a very wishy washy chicken chit way to say he wants to break up
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Here's another thing that he said. Please give me your interpretation: Yeah thanks for your replies. I am feeling rather on edge and I'm glad I asked here. Getting so bloody tired of men only wanting me for sex. The fact that most men think I'm pretty, doesn't make them any less likely to have that attitude...aarghh I don't get this guy at all...arrghh but maybe the answer is staring me in the face and I don't want to admit. He sounds worse and worse 1
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 You need to rent the movie He's Just Not that Into You. Watch it, take notes, learn. Funny thing is I'm following that movie fairly well. I've not initiated contact, I've let him take the lead. I haven't chased him so-to-speak. He's the one who started having conversations with me. I met him online btw. Does this make any difference? Also as I said he is coming to my hometown on Sunday. He said: do I have to meet your parents on Sunday To which I replied that I only introduce long term boyfriends to parents. Then he said, "what would it take for you to make a guy your boyfriend?" and I told him that a guy would be my boyfriend if he asked me "can you be my girlfriend?"... ah what a fail this situation is. :/
Author thecrucible Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 It's a very wishy washy chicken chit way to say he wants to break up But we've only been on two dates. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that.
sweetkiwi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 But we've only been on two dates. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend or anything like that. Why are you tripping so hard on a dude you have only been on two dates with? And why are you even talking about exclusivity? He's a virgin yet you think he's trying to use you for sex? Is it possible you are over-analyzing? 2
MrCastle Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Up your game son! Anymore "up" and Pixar would have made a film about it. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Anymore "up" and Pixar would have made a film about it. Is it weird that the talking dog is the first thing that came to mind?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Is it weird that the talking dog is the first thing that came to mind? Ouch :lmao:
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