LilGirlandOW Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Wow, I just cant seem to get it right these days, First there's MM, I'm trying to move on, and actually went on a nice lunch date with a single man/old high school friend, after date he drops me off at home, and we share a kiss, the problem arises when he put his hand around my neck, and tried to use his thumb to apply pressure to the front of my throat enough that it still hurts, its strange cause he's always been a nice guy, we always were good friends, but I am freaked out, since our lunch date he's texted me multiple times, asking where i am/what i'm doing. Why would he wanna try to choke me? is this a sexual thing? Its definelty not my thing thats for sure.
Praying4Peace Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Did you ask him what the heck he was doing? How did that not warrant a conversation? 5
carhill Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Next time that happens, apply a little pressure to his nut sack with your knee. Call it a gag reflex. Better yet, leave him to kiss and choke the other girls. 10
Sarabi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Isn't that how Mr Carradine from Kill Bill died(in real life)? Autoerotic asphyxiation...? In your case erotic asphyxiation...I dunno maybe the faintness and resulting rush of blood to your head was meant to arouse you (by the way please don't ask...I have honestly never tried any of these strange things ) 1
BetrayedH Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 It's a dominant/submissive thing. With the popularity of 50 Shades these days, I suspect more and more guys will try being dominant earlier rather than later. Pretty dang stupid if it was on a first or second date. 5
Sarabi Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Auto = Self. She didn't do this to herself. So I took off the auto in the following sentence... 3
wanting more Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I think it has become more known since fifty shades of grey, but really, if he tried this on your 1st lunch date , I'm thinking you need to stay away. 3
Author LilGirlandOW Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 Yes, I'm saying its a no-go with him, in all aspects, I spoke with his sister, who I also grew up with, and asked her how he was doing these days, she said oh he's good, and that he used to have the biggest crush on me back in the day, but except for the fact he started using steriods not to long ago, YUK! I'm wondering if steriods can play a role here? I dont know too much about them, either way,, I'm sick of mr.not-so-perfect, I have that with my MM right now... not about to jump onto another sinking ship Its too bad cause he really was/is a great and SINGLE guy, not worth it though Oh and no I didnt say anything about it to him at the moment, it felt awkward so i ended the kiss and said bye, that was it..... it really put me off to much to wrap my head around at the moment, 1
Author LilGirlandOW Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 the strangest and scariest thing is that it wasnt what i imagine a typical choke being (hands wrapped around neck) it was all pressure from his thumb right to my airway, so strange
fllygirl Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 (edited) A guy on steroids tries to choke you on a very first date.. Do you really want to have a second date with him? I would stay away even if he was just a friend. Edited June 28, 2013 by fllygirl 2
Author LilGirlandOW Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 no i dont want a second date, it just threw me right off, and i needed to vent to fellow LS'rs and see who weighs in and about what, I'm bvery fresh into the dating scene, and also a current OW, I have no more time for Bullcrap, Unsure times like this makes me feel so safe and at home in MM's OW compartment, lol.
carhill Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I'm wondering if steriods can play a role here? One hallmark of anabolic 'roid use can be inappropriate aggression, which can continue after such use is halted. If this guy is or has been using 'roids, that could be a factor, especially if such behavior is out of the typical realm of his behaviors with you in the past. Still, no excuse. No different than doing something illegal (battery) while intoxicated. 1
Pierre Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Wow, I just cant seem to get it right these days, First there's MM, I'm trying to move on, and actually went on a nice lunch date with a single man/old high school friend, after date he drops me off at home, and we share a kiss, the problem arises when he put his hand around my neck, and tried to use his thumb to apply pressure to the front of my throat enough that it still hurts, its strange cause he's always been a nice guy, we always were good friends, but I am freaked out, since our lunch date he's texted me multiple times, asking where i am/what i'm doing. Why would he wanna try to choke me? is this a sexual thing? Its definelty not my thing thats for sure. Why did you kiss after the first lunch date? 1
sweet_pea Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Girl, I think you just need to take a break from all relationships. Moving from an unhealthy relationship (the affair) to another relationship, and having these problems is not good for you. It's OK to take some time to heal, not date, be by yourself and so on. 4
StripeyShirt Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Why did you kiss after the first lunch date? With the greatest respect, what has that got to do with it? I hope you are not trying to make some connection between the OP being willing to be kissed on a first date with what actually happened. 1
Pierre Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 With the greatest respect, what has that got to do with it? I hope you are not trying to make some connection between the OP being willing to be kissed on a first date with what actually happened. Some men are jerks and take this as a message to immediately go kinky. Better to be safe. 1
The Way I Am Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I could be that he's a bit inept at kissing and didn't realize he was applying that much pressure in that spot. And/or maybe with the steroids, his strength is more than he realizes. If steroids weren't involved, I'd say you should ask him about it since it's someone you've known for awhile, and judge from his response whether it was intentional or accidental. But just don't bother with a guy on steroids. It's almost a certainty that he's not mentally healthy. 1
Praying4Peace Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 So it wasn't an...umm...traditional choke? It was just too much thumb pressure? Maybe's he's just awkward and his steroids make him super strong...like he doesn't know his own strength. Like he's a vampire or something (Twilight joke). Maybe you should text him back...I didn't think I'd hear from you after you tried to strangle me...? Something is off here. Especially if a man is reading 50 Shades of Gross (dumbest book ever, but that another thread). I'd dump him for reading that. ETA: this post has too many references to bad literature. I read the good stuff too, i swear. 2
Author LilGirlandOW Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 I was trying to go on a date to get my mind off my married boyfriend. I was hoping some great single guy would sweep me off my feet and make me forget about him, on the other hand, aside from being married he's perfect to me so in any case i'm realizing its gonna be a tough pill to swallow Why did i kiss him on the first date? Not that it makes it seem better but the old friend is somebody i've known for a couple decades and it felt right, at the time.... Even without the whole choking thing i feel bad i betrayed my MM by kissing him maybe also why i kissed him was out of a slight curiousity as to how WS, can be able to live in their two compartment lives. Like when my married boyfriend comes over, he uses his key to come inside, and for the time we're together its like we're a perfect couple in our home, then he goes home to his other compartment and does the exact same thing? (oh minus the intimacy stuff, he says,, ppffffttt right), i dont know anymore.....
Author LilGirlandOW Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 oh and not that it changes anything, but it was a kiss from opposite sides of the car, lol, not a full makeout session kiss with groping and stuff, lol
Got it Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Some men are jerks and take this as a message to immediately go kinky. Better to be safe. Really!?! From a kiss? That is quite a leap and as outrageous as the guy trying to strangle the OP. 1
Pierre Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I was trying to go on a date to get my mind off my married boyfriend. I was hoping some great single guy would sweep me off my feet and make me forget about him, on the other hand, aside from being married he's perfect to me so in any case i'm realizing its gonna be a tough pill to swallow Why did i kiss him on the first date? Not that it makes it seem better but the old friend is somebody i've known for a couple decades and it felt right, at the time.... Even without the whole choking thing i feel bad i betrayed my MM by kissing him maybe also why i kissed him was out of a slight curiousity as to how WS, can be able to live in their two compartment lives. Like when my married boyfriend comes over, he uses his key to come inside, and for the time we're together its like we're a perfect couple in our home, then he goes home to his other compartment and does the exact same thing? (oh minus the intimacy stuff, he says,, ppffffttt right), i dont know anymore..... Women that are desperate to be loved make bad choices. When people cheat they have already detached themselves from the spouse. You are still quite attached to your MM so I don't know how you could kiss this other man. 1
Pierre Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Really!?! From a kiss? That is quite a leap and as outrageous as the guy trying to strangle the OP. If you only date choir boys it may seem outrageous. But, I would think that choking is serious and he probably took the initiative from the kiss.
veryhappy Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 Men can be silly and stupid when it comes to their little friends. They believe anal is a thing women like because porn so. ExMM was very mellow and vanilla, but thought women could squirt and had some fantasies about it. Yeah, right, I have never heard a woman posessing the supposed quality in real life, and frankly never desired it. If you sold them that pink goats are the thing, they'd start masturbating to images of pink goats. If you grew up with the guy, let him know he's off and maybe he'll correct himself for the future with someone else. Otherwise I'd agree with not saying anything. Weird and unsettling. 1
Recommended Posts