Woggle Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 These days many people text each other like it is going out of style. They do it at work, at home and some even do it while driving. It is a thin line to walk deciding what is too much and what is not enough when you have a SO. Text them too much and it is clingy but don't text enough and they get mad because you aren't returning their texts. It is enough to drive people crazy. Back in the day you just went about your business and actually lived life away from your SO. There was no texting and in many cases there was no cellphone so by the time you were done with work or hanging out with your buddies or whatever you really wanted to see your SO because you haven't spoken to them all day. It give you a chance to miss them and have a life that is more balanced between relationships and other things. 7
MrCastle Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 It's really all in how you use it. And how often. I have learned never text them just to say "whatsup" and instead text them something with substance. If I have nothing interesting to say or ask, I tend to stay away. I have also slowly gotten over the ignoring of texts. Obviously the conversation has to end at some point. If I got upset everytime a girl didn't respond to a text I would probably be a pretty miserable man. Texting is a microcosm of a bigger problem. Internet/social media. That's the real issue in my opinion. Facebook whoring, poor online dating etiquette. That's worse in my opinion. 2
KungFuJoe Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I agree that texting hurts dating more than helps. Mostly because it's hard to convey tone and also because texts sometimes go missed and the other party sits there wondering if they said something wrong or the other person is upset where in reality he/she just had to use the bathroom of is in a bad location.
KungFuJoe Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Btw, the fact that texting wasn't around when I dated makes me feel pretty darn old!
Author Woggle Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Btw, the fact that texting wasn't around when I dated makes me feel pretty darn old! Texting only came around in the 2000s and it didn't really take off until about 2006 so don't feel old.
carhill Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I remember dating before telephone answering machines and asking mom or dad if so and so could come to the phone, as most girls weren't privileged to have their own line and a lovely princess rotary phone on their nightstand. I don't know that it was 'better', but certainly was 'simpler' IMO. Much more real life interaction, as that was about all one could do, and far less ambiguity. I find texting incredibly impersonal, generally akin to posting on this or any anonymous discussion forum, and I've been doing this for nearly 20 years. Compared to real life flesh-pressing, whether as friends or lovers, it's vapors. 4
clia Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I'm 38, so I've spent the vast majority of my dating years without texting -- thank God. I'm glad I came of age in the days when a guy actually had to call on the phone and speak! I have to admit that the number of posts I see around here of people freaking out because it's been ten minutes and someone hasn't responded to a text, or someone cut off a text conversation, or their significant other doesn't text them all day like they used to is really alarming. I don't at all get the need to be in touch every hour all day long. I fear we are creating a generation of people who don't know how to survive without constant contact and communication. It's bizarre. And I can't believe the in depth, long conversations that people have over text on important topics like exclusivity and where the relationship is going. Sheesh! Why not just speak to each other? 1
StanMusial Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 It's really all in how you use it. And how often. I have learned never text them just to say "whatsup" and instead text them something with substance. If I have nothing interesting to say or ask, I tend to stay away. I have also slowly gotten over the ignoring of texts. Obviously the conversation has to end at some point. If I got upset everytime a girl didn't respond to a text I would probably be a pretty miserable man. Texting is a microcosm of a bigger problem. Internet/social media. That's the real issue in my opinion. Facebook whoring, poor online dating etiquette. That's worse in my opinion. You got that right broheim. I have had more than one person tell me my Facebook page is boring. I say, "You think so? Good." 2
Fineshrine Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I totally agree. I find its really difficult trying to sound like you're interested in someone yet not clingy or possessive at the same time. Very fine line...
GorillaTheater Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 "Back in my day, we actually had to TALK to women! We'd get stuck talking over the phone with a girl for what seemed like days, and we LIKED it! And get the hell off my grass!" 1
Carwhisperer Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 These are all good points but in my opinion you have to text or you can't date in the 2010's. You can can also gripe about the fact that there's no hitching post at the bar when you want to go out for a drink but this is how it works now. Having said that, I think I'm pretty good at it but I still have my doubts. In fact, I came here to post a texting question!
anne1707 Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 As posted by Carrie () a few days ago 23 Pictures That Prove Society Is Doomed 1
Eggplant Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I refuse to have a live, extensive conversation via text messaging. If you want to talk to me, give me your full attention and call me. And vice versa. And also, I can't be checking my phone every 10 minutes at work ... they pay me to work.
veggirl Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 How many threads do you see on LS with the sidenote of: (I don't like talking on the phone, I prefer texting) the electronic communication we have now has turned people in social retards. It's made people uncomfortable having a fking conversation they can't control...a conversation they can't plan out. Talking in real time, you can't plan your response. Texting? You can delete and re-write til it's just perfect. It's so disingenuous when used that way. You know you're using it that way if you are "awkward on the phone". 1
MrTurk Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 How many threads do you see on LS with the sidenote of: (I don't like talking on the phone, I prefer texting) That is so true. And its the demise of society. On dating profiles, I've seen some of the younger women actually list "texting" as an interest or something fun that they enjoy doing. Seriously??? Texting is a favorite pastime?? I'm 42, and I WISHHHH all the women still wanted to talk on the phone. But I am finding it harder and harder to find ones that still do. Its a huge turnoff for me as well when a woman that I havent met yet...wants to text me and act as if we know each other, before we meet. Women have told me they like to text because its "lets them get to know the guy better". I have no idea how. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 I HATE social media. Overall, it's a sad comment on our society. I also feel it had a role in my most recent BU. Bad, Bad, Bad!!!! Like there's always something better or more interesting just a click away on a smartphone. Hate it!!! BTW -I'm 41....
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Oh, he/she is cute. Let me socialize electronically with them. Oh, they seem interested in me. Well, goodbye established relationship of months/years. I'm off to try something new I discovered on-line. BARF!!!!
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