Sleepwalk Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The whole thing behind this is quite long,and I feel like it has no essence if I don't really tell each part of it for you to understand,or try to put yourself into both of the viewpoints (Of mine,and my exes) in this past relationship I had.But even though I'm gonna try to keep it as short as possible. Me and girl X had a long relationship,with a distance parting us right from the beginning (90 Miles more exactly,relationship ended as two years old.)I know time does not neccesarily make things to be good,or unforgettable,but still,two years were two years. Going through a hell lot of ups and downs,I admit that in the beginning It was my fault, each bad bit of the relationship was mostly caused by me being late.In the beginning I was quite shy and held back,I was thinking what she would think about my voice,how she would react when she saw me,I was nervous all the time,but in the inside,all this was devouring me,little by little. So time went on and on,me slowly pulling by her trust with all this waiting on her,we finally got to meet,gradually everything became like a normal relationship,we talked everyday,almost the whole day was spent hearing eachothers voice. We got to meet,the first time was really weird,getting used to her voice and all that,but in my oppinion,considering we've never met before,things laid out quite nicely between us.So time went on and on,we had some difficulties.We met 3 more times,and I didn't really promise her things I couldn't do anymore.Like seeing her.Instead of this,even did small "sacrifices" in order to see her. So to get to the point,we've seen eachother,once in a month.Our relationship was okay,not too lovey dovey,we shared everything,each emotion.It was more like a friendship,but it had that private side a couple needs (at least in my oppinion.)We even discussed last time we met,how we would make time pass,deciding we would write letters to eachother,and time would pass untill I would finally go there to college (We last met in february,I would have gone to college in october) but of course,with small,and longer meets during the summer break.When I got home,she started crying saying she does not want this at all.I tried to pull on things,even if damaging her was the last thing I wanted to do.She asked about my oppinion,we still talked like everyday,she was getting close to me,and letting me go.I'm that type that barely can show any feelings,but when I had her next to me,everything felt alright.So she started seeing another guy,and while she was seeing that guy,she started blaming me for things like,she can't love him because of me.I parted ways with her,and told her to never call me again,for the good of both.After a month,she called me,telling me she broke up with that guy,and how she tried new relationships,but none was on-going.Some nights,I still care about her,and love her,and some nights,I just hate her guts.She kept coming up with the past to blame me,and when I brought up the past what was bothering me about her,she wanted me to knock it off and to stop talking.Things were weird.I don't know what to do anymore,we haven't talked over a month,and last time I heard about her,she told me about how some guy took her with him to a concert and brought her things.I don't think a plain friendship goes like that,and I don't even think I should bother anymore.I just don't know how to get this out of my head. Someone please,skip through the lines,read the bottom things or do whatever you want,I just need your oppinion.Thank you in advance.
Author Sleepwalk Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Apparently when she called me,she wanted to "be friends again".I was like,okay.Then I just decided to ask her,what her purpose was. She was like "Oh nothing I don't have any such serious purposes,just friends."Yet she was planning on meeting me in july,when she's gonna pass by my city.Last time she was here,she asked me if I could help her,and since I was around the place she was hanging out in my city,I just decided "Oh why not if im still here".When I called her,she said "Oh dont come here dont come".I was okay,so I started chatting with a few of some female friends on the side of the street.She was like "Who were those girls?"In the past,she kept asking about my relationship status,and stuff.She was sending me text messages like "Have a nice day kisses kisses" Or "Goodnight kiss kiss".Kinda leading on,I thought okay,she's being nice,but since she brought that guy up,I just decided,not even a friendship can go on like this.Like I don't want to be a backup wheel for her,someone to fill up the gap between her relationships.I just want payback,because she flipped me over way too many times,and my ego feels miserable.
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