SexualDeviant Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Well, this is probably gona be a long story.. but basicly, 13 months ago.. i was in a huge depression, i used to take shots of vodka EVERY day, to keep the pain from my ex off.. and i met this girl, over my brothers msn her name is Melissa.. and we clicked instantly.. and i met her the very next day.. we fell in love, she even left her boyfriend to be with me.. we'v been dating for 12 months now.. and it has been great.. some rocky times.. but now we'v hit a stump.. last month we broke up, because her parents..w ere giving her a hard tiem wtih school and with me.. so basicly, she wanted some time off.. and that drove me insane.. because i hate waiting for someone.. and not knowing what's going to happen. So basicly, that night i logged into msn, to find her mother on msn.. she started to make me get all mad. by saying that she's glad we broke up,a nd went on about how i was a bad boyfriend..s o i went on saying how she was a bad mother (long story) basicly me and her mother got into it.. and now they refuse to let her see me.. we still talk everynight, she either calls me, or over msn.. basicly she wants ust o keep seeing eachother.. but only when there not around.. wich basicly means i have to sneek around to see her.. and it sucks.. but now.. she always wants to go out with her friends, and she never has time for me.. the only days that i can see her.. she'll go off and make plans with her friends.. i dunno if she even thinks about me in the same way as she used too.. basicly i think that we're pretty much doomed, because she's not very open with our problems. she won't talk to me about them.. and when i do she get's irratated, and get's mad.. so i just keep my mouth shut.. right now i'm starting therapy.. had my first session today.. and it was all about her.. and i know that we should break up.. because i'v been very sick lately with all of this.. i know we should, but i just can't seem to do it.. because i'm worried if i do.. i'll be missing out on her.. and all the great times we could have.. and i just wish i knew what to do, and would make it easier on me, if me and her could actually talk about it.. but i dunno.. she basicly doesn't want to talk to me about it.. maybe she think's everything is fine.. maybe she think's that everything is ok the way it is.. but to me it's not.. it makes me very sad, to never get to be with her like we used to be.. i need more then just seeing her once a week.. and for 20 min? that's not a relationshhip to me Sorry, this was so long.. there's more but i'm getting tired.. Any help would be much appreciated. thanks for your support
faux Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 It does not seem that there is a relationship left any longer, and it does not seem your 'girlfriend' may feel that she is in a relationship with you. Maybe it would be a good move to disassociate yourself from her. Exploring your thoughts on your situation may help more, and therapy can help you come to your own conclusion that you are very comfortable with.
Arrecho Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Dear fellow users: Hello, I am 25 years old from Caracas, Venezuela. Being with a girlfriend for 6 months and we have had a lot of passion happening during my 6 months. She is 27 years old and have had bad relationships in the past and a failed marriage. We got together and at the beginning,it was wonderful, she stayed over at my place, we went on vacation together. Made love like crazy, but ever since we got from vacation like a month ago. I stated to get impulsivity attacks about why she did not do more public displays of affection with me. She told me that she is not that lovie-dobey, and I would get mad and she would get sad and then we would forget about it and continue on. The same thing happened this tuesday, and we did not speak to each other for 2 days, when I went to her place, she said that she was tired of dealing with that and wanted to end the relationship because she could not be with anybody right now. She needed time to think about stuff, that she felt like exhausted and need oxygen. I was not expecting this at all, especially because I did not do anything, except the impulsivity to annoy her. She always called me, always SMS me and e-mail me. I was never jealous and she always was jealous that I would have another girl. We were even thinking about getting a car together and move in together in January. Even this same monday, we talked about it again and even after she declared that she wanted to break and I defended our relationship and pump some rationality into it, she conceded that we needed a long break, I am totally speechless and confused about this shift in our relationship. What happened here? A few outburst in a 6 months period were enought to end a relationship. She was the one that approached me first, I did not even like her at the beginning. I cannot understand how this happened and especially how she could have said that she needed room to breathe yet she was the always the one that contacted me or told me to come over to her place. She always initiated the contact. I read your reply and your experience with your boyfriend about the break and wanted your advice on this matter. I also want to mention the fact that we used to work in the same job, but not anymore. Also, she has a very bad stomach illness that she is getting medicated for, she is finishing her thesis and she has to support some of her family, which cause her financials constraints. On this break, that I advocated for that we took, what can I do to let her think about things, guaranteeing as much as possible, that we got get back together??, because she told me that she loves me but cannot be with me or with anybody right now. Thank you so much for your help and I hope to hear from you soon moderator removed email address -- please read site guidelines before posting!
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