Main Reasons Women Don't Have the Relationship they Want

[deenalowens]

What do you think the main reasons are?

 

 

Top 7 Reasons:

1 - Their friends are not honest with them in regards to the quality of their relationships

 

2- Their significant others are not straightforward with them

 

3- The media portrays a false reality of what relationships should be like

 

4- They value the wrong things in selecting a partner

 

5- They can be too much (or too little) to handle

 

6- They are repeating their patterns which haven't worked

 

7- They are holding on to excess baggage

 

What do you think?

Edited June 30, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redacted commercial link

[Sarabi]

For me...3, 4, 6 & 7 probably fit best with why I fail to find relationships

Edited June 29, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[carhill]

Back in the days I used to listen to 'complaints', I often wondered what the real reasons were that such women didn't have the relationships they wanted. Eventually, I woke up and realized they *did* have the relationships they wanted, including having me to complain to. Epic day that was. Too bad it happened while I was married

 

If women around here were single for more than ten seconds, I'd offer a more moderate viewpoint, but they're not, so evidently they're in relationships they want to be in. After all, why be in a relationship unless one wants to be, right?

[SuperGeek]

8 - too damn selective

 

9 - waiting for someone else they'd rather be with to show some interest.

[SuperGeek]

I think knowing what you want is important and it's good you won't settle.

 

What seems to chap my hide the most is the _girl_ seems to change their mind on what they want after they acquire the man they want.

 

What a woman wants today, might not be what she wants tomorrow, next week, a month, a year, or TEN YEARS later.

 

I'm currently really confused on how any long term relationship can work if people constantly keep changing.

 

Hey I just described my failed marriage. Yay.

 

 

Well SuperGeek, I'm not sure those are actually negatives. I mean would you really want to be with someone who felt like she was"settling" with you?

 

I'm very selective when it comes to men for reasons beyond trite pickiness. Looks and status etc, are irrelevant. I just honestly don't want to get into something with a man and make him miserable (re: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/402426-i-don-t-like-affectionate-men). Maybe one day my feelings will shift but as it stands, I could not in good conscience get with a guy who didn't share or at least wouldn't be bothered by my particular preferences.

[gaius]

Because they just don't want it enough.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Looks and status etc, are irrelevant.

 

 

Wrong.....

[tbf]

Why would an entire book be necessary? It can all be summarized in one phrase. Like attracts like.

 

One caveat to "like attracts like". The more attractive, the more you attract which includes like and not like. This is where your people picker comes into play and circles back to like attracts like.

Edited June 29, 2013 by tbf

[Maleficent]

What do you think the main reasons are? <commercial link redacted>

 

 

Top 7 Reasons:

1 - Their friends are not honest with them in regards to the quality of their relationships

 

2- Their significant others are not straightforward with them

 

3- The media portrays a false reality of what relationships should be like

 

4- They value the wrong things in selecting a partner

 

5- They can be too much (or too little) to handle

 

6- They are repeating their patterns which haven't worked

 

7- They are holding on to excess baggage

 

What do you think?

 

Downloaded it. My roommate and I are going to open a bottle of red and laugh our a.sses off...

Edited June 30, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[MrCastle]

1.) They're not vocal about what they want

 

and/or

 

2.) Because they tolerate bad relationships

[William]

As the thread starter logged out one minute after posting this and has not returned and the 'free' book link expired today, discussion can continue on the points in the starting post. Thanks

[Woggle]

For the same reasons men don't. They have a bad people picker or they don't want to do the work on themselves to be the kind of partners their ideal person desires.

[KathyM]

I think the main reasons women don't have the relationship they want is:

 

1. They have unrealistic expectations.

 

2. They expect more from a man than they themselves have to offer.

 

3. They may tolerate bad behavior from men, hoping to change him, but their tolerance only prolongs the problem.

 

4. They don't put themselves out there enough to meet the right guy.

 

5. They look for a quality guy in locations where mostly jerks or losers hang out.

 

6. They waste their time with jerks and losers, just so they have someone in their life, rather than be alone for any length of time.

 

7. The women themselves have dealbreakers that are turning the quality men away, such as being too needy, too controlling, too difficult, too flaky, too immature, etc.

 

Although it often takes awhile to find the right guy, if you've gone for years without a good relationship, there is usually one of the above factors involved.

[JustAReformedGirl]

What do you think the main reasons are?

 

 

Top 7 Reasons:

1 - Their friends are not honest with them in regards to the quality of their relationships

 

In some cases, yes. But there are cases when said friends are very honest (especially in the case of a toxic relationship) but the woman in question still doesn't let go. Eventually they do wake up to the reality, but others (with a great many psychological problems and low self-esteem) either don't, or take a great deal longer.

 

2- Their significant others are not straightforward with them

 

In some cases yes, but this goes for both genders.

 

3- The media portrays a false reality of what relationships should be like

Probably one the bigger ones, I would say. Most people grow up and realize relationships aren't like fairy-tales, but even for those who do so, it's hard to let go of that perception. It takes time.

 

4- They value the wrong things in selecting a partner

 

In some cases, certainly. I would extend it further by saying that perhaps they and their partners are not necessarily on the same page, as for what stage the relationship should be at, or the type of relationship they expect.

 

5- They can be too much (or too little) to handle

 

The relationship, or the women in question? If the former, then they're clearly not ready for that level. It's not a bad thing if they aren't, but the sooner they acknowledge it, the better for them. In the latter case...well, they are bound to find men who can handle them, and as they get older, certain things change.

 

6- They are repeating their patterns which haven't worked

A major factor I would say, for most. Usually they are unaware of their patterns, but even once they become aware, they may have difficulty avoiding them.

 

7- They are holding on to excess baggage

 

I think everyone has baggage, from one degree to another. How they handle said baggage is another matter. If they continue to compare their current relationship to their past ones-either positively or negatively-it can be a major turn-off for their partners, which is understandable. Again, men are capable of this, too.

[TheZebra]

 

2.) Because they tolerate bad relationships

 

I have WAY too many girl friends like this... they're never fully happy in their relationships because they settle for the first guy that comes along. They may treat them terribly, but to them, hey at least they're not single, right? =/

 

Honestly, I rather be single than in a bad relationship ANY day of the week lol