veggies Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Hello. I recently started talking to someone on OkCupid that I'm really interested in. I got out of an LTR about 2 months ago so I'm not really ready to hop into anything, though. My problem is that he lives in the town that I have an apartment in, but I am 10 hours away in another state for the summer. I won't be back until September. I've never done any kind of online dating, but I think I would prefer to talk to someone for atleast a month before meeting. (I tend to be wary of people in the first place but online dating adds a whole new level). I'd really like to meet this person-- we're a 99% match, he seems intelligent kind, and looks like my ex but is even more attractive, haha. Anyway, would it be abnormal to keep in touch until September and then meet? Do people usually meet right away?
MidwestUSA Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The longer you go without meeting, the more likely you are to be disappointed. Texting, emailing, FB chatting, whatever, all allow you to build up some sort of image of that other person that is then shattered when you meet. I had a rule of meeting within one week of making contact with a guy, and I stuck to it. Good luck! 1
BluEyeL Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 You have to meet right away. It's a huge mistake to wait so long. You can try that approach, you'll fail and you'll learn. 2
Author veggies Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) Ah. That's what I was afraid of. Kinda wish I had stayed in my apartment for the summer now, haha. Oh well. EDIT: Well, what if we talked a bit longer and started skyping? I'm not even sure I want to date this person, he's just someone who I have A LOT in common and who knows, we might be good friends. I have met plenty of close friends online (not dating sites, usually games and such) but sometimes it did turn into a crush. Unfortunately these people were too far away to realistically meet, unlike this new person. I guess this is why I'm confused about meeting someone right off the bat. Edited June 27, 2013 by veggies
MrMillion8 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 you should meet as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the less interest you will have in him/her.
InsaneTrombone Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 The longer you wait, the more time you allow someone else to come along, especially in OLD. Don't wait around, I almost made that mistake myself and am glad I didn't thus far.
ThomasD Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Not exactly "online dating" (it was 40 years ago!) but my wife & I wrote to each other, sight unseen, for about 3-1/2 months before meeting in person. It was real letters, on real paper - progressively more serious - a great way for two quiet-and-shy people to get acquainted at a personal level. By the time we met we were very much "in like" with each other and seriously considering becoming "in love". In fact, just one year plus two weeks after we first met in-person we married, and still are - almost 39 years later. 1
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