tiredandsad Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I am not sure what to do and how to approach a resolution. About 8 years ago I caught my wife cheating with a friend's husband. At the time my kids were 5 and 9. I could not leave them, and my so called wife cried and appologized and said it was out of despration. I forgave her and things were good for about a few months. Eventualy, she said she does not love me like the time we were married, and that she loves me in a different way. Eversince, we have not had sex. It has been 8 years, and I have not cheated on our so called marriage either. Since she is the major provider at home, she claimed that money is a factor. I have grown to accept the fact. I have had some good and bad years. Yesterday was our annivessary, and everytime, I hate going through it. However, we keep it civil because of the kids. We do not fight, but it is hard sleeping next to someone who I have no relations with. I am running out of patience, and because of a circumstance with my younger daughter, it will have to be another year before I leave. I am not sure if it is worth saving thios marriage. It would be weired to have relations with her again after so long. I dont want to leave, but I am over 50 years old, and I want a life partner who loves me for me. I am lost and not sure where to begin the process. I know for sure my kids will be devestated, but we are not setting a good example of how 2 married people act. The kids are noticing it more and more now. 1
GuyInLimbo Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I am not sure if it is worth saving this marriage. Um, what's to save? It's been long dead for years. I doubt your kids will be devastated. They probably already know how unhappy you two are.
BC1980 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I promise you the kids notice a lot more than you think. How do you know they would be devastated by a divorce? My sister and I couldn't stand living under the same roof with two people who clearly did not like one another. You and your wife sound like my parents. Miserable together but have been together so long that they just stay together. Trust me, it's usually quite obvious to other people, especially your kids. Normally, I would say try to save it, but this is too far gone. You are basically roommates. You are 50 years old. Give yourself a chance to find someone who can make you happy. At the very least, you can be single and happier. 1
coaches24 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I promise you the kids notice a lot more than you think. How do you know they would be devastated by a divorce? My sister and I couldn't stand living under the same roof with two people who clearly did not like one another. You and your wife sound like my parents. Miserable together but have been together so long that they just stay together. Trust me, it's usually quite obvious to other people, especially your kids. Normally, I would say try to save it, but this is too far gone. You are basically roommates. You are 50 years old. Give yourself a chance to find someone who can make you happy. At the very least, you can be single and happier. I agree. I too would normally say try and save it but after 8 years I can't imagine there is anything to save? Im in the same "no relations" marriage with my wife but its been 3 months and I can't imagine sticking around for another 3 months if things don't change (and we are going to MC to see if it will help) but 8 years of this? No way in hell!
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