Men, what's worse...35 and divorced or 35 and never married?

[neveragain34]

I had a conversation with my girlfriends tonight discussing whether or not a man would choose a divorced 35 year old woman or a never married 35 year old if they had to. Before letting you know the consensus of beliefs and why this was even discussed, I'm curious to see what others would choose and why. I look forward to your thoughts!

[darkmoon]

divorced, no, single is better, you might then seem, truly, like you weren't ready for the big vows, a divorced woman with children, idk, marriages are more likely to fail when the (not really new) newlyweds were marred before, second-timers are likely to divorce twice, I read a survey about it...http://www.smartmarriages.com/remarrying.html

Edited June 27, 2013 by darkmoon

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am not quite 35 yet but men I date always told me that divorce/children were deal breakers for them. I am not sure if it's just men I come across though.

[Emilia]

I had a conversation with my girlfriends tonight discussing whether or not a man would choose a divorced 35 year old woman or a never married 35 year old if they had to.

I didn't think 35 was old enough to warrant this kind of worry. I thought that would start more around 40 (my age).

[Eternal Sunshine]

I didn't think 35 was old enough to warrant this kind of worry. I thought that would start more around 40 (my age).

 

Apparently 30 is now old enough

[BradJacobs]

Preference? Divorced. She's more than likely not getting married again just because.

 

I dated a 37 year old, never married woman not too long ago. There's a reason that she's never settled down and most likely never will but it takes some investment of time to figure that one out. In her eyes it's always the men; she's a victim and always will be.

 

I'll go with the one who is not afraid of the commitment.

[Ripnet]

From experience I say divorced women are worse.

[SJC2008]

Part of me says it doesn't matter but looking at statistics, a second marriage is way more likely to fail than a first marriage. For me it would matter on the person and the type of relationshp rather than the length or her experience if that makes sense. Many people put sooo much weight on "experience" and that's becuase they don't trust their own judgement. The last woman I dated had a long R of 7 years, her first and only. To many "outsiders" that would mean she was very experienced in relationships, certainly more than me, a 31 year old man who has never had a relationship! Well my "rookie" ass could tell that she is a control freak who wouldn't admit she was wrong if she had the turret of an Abrams tank pointed at her head ready to fire! She always had to be right and had to have things her way. Cool! go find a man like the last one who put up with your arse for 7 years and I'll stay single and date a woman who admits to being human and can admit when she's wrong like I can. The type of relationship matters fathoms more than the length or wheter they were married!

[rocketman122]

Marriage teaches you a lot. Divorced is way better. I wouldnt date anyone 35+ that wasnt married. I learned a lot from my divorce and made those changes for my next relationship.

 

I saw a lot of single women from 35+ (there are obviously younger and older as well) who were single and many of them gorgeous, and not married?

GTFO. something is wrong there. I stay far away.

 

and that bull**** "invested in career" crap doesnt hold water. its an excuse.

[Woggle]

It depends on the reason for the divorce. I would have to more information.

[Sarabi]

Oh my gosh...

I am seven years shy of 35.

I have never been married and never had children...according to the whole world my ovaries are shrivelling and being single is worse than having leprosy...forget all my plans of having a career...

Someone PLEASE FIND ME A HUSBAND QUICK SO I DON'T BECOME EVEN MORE UNDATEABLE :eek:

 

[StanMusial]

My preference is never married/no children. Unfortunately the women I dated or rather tried to date who had passed 30 and fit that criteria were way more difficult. That is in comparison to 30+ and divorced or younger than 30. I have a few theories why but that's all based on my experiences. My solution is dating in the 25 to 29 range.

[Sarabi]

My preference is never married/no children. Unfortunately the women I dated or rather tried to date who had passed 30 and fit that criteria were way more difficult. That is in comparison to 30+ and divorced or younger than 30. I have a few theories why but that's all based on my experiences. My solution is dating in the 25 to 29 range.

 

OH MY GOD!!! I only have ONE YEAR LEFT!!! :eek:

How can this be????

 

At least I look younger than people think I am so hopefully 7yrs from now I look 25 & not 35

[KatZee]

Bahahahahaha Sarabi I'm in the exact same boat as you. Turning 29 soon and my mother always look as me as if I'm insane.

 

You're not going to be able to have kids!

 

You need to start planning your future if you want family!

 

Do online dating!

 

Take control of your life!

 

0_o

 

Last I checked, being able to support myself, have my own home, a career, and a nice social life WAS taking control of my life. Apparently having a man is the be all and end of all of someone's life. I'm sure my ovaries will turn to raisins in a few more months, I'll be completely out of the dating pool, no guy will want me, and I'll wind up at 35 with tons of cats.

[MidwestUSA]

Just my personal experience, but every single guy I dated over 35 (well, technically they were more like over 38) had "issues". Commitment issues, mommy issues, and a I met a disproportionate number of OCDers for whatever reason. Having been married usually (again, my opinion) shows a guy has it in him to commit, and hopefully he's learned a little from been married. I found that the older, never been married guys had difficulty compromising, on anything, and I mean any little thing, to the point of ridiculous. (Keep in mind my experience includes single guys up to about 54 years old).

[veggirl]

I know you asked about women being divorced but...

 

well, for me I'm 30. I wouldn't date a divorced guy. A couple reasons-- 1. I am still in the age range where there are TONS of never married guys. So why date a divorced one? I'd prefer MY first marriage to be his.

 

and 2. That would mean he got married most likely in his early 20s and is probably gonna want to experience the carefree, fun, wild youth he didn't get to because he was in a marriage.

 

At 30 I still don't feel ready for marriage/kids.

I think I'd like to marry around 33 and have a baby around 35 (just one). I've been with my bf for 2 years and I'd say this is a fairly achievable timeline.

 

I don't want to be THAT tied down yet.

 

35 and never married seems like no big deal to me, I can't even imagine batting an eye at that. The only way that'd be a dealbreaker is if he NEVER wanted to marry--and that'd be a dealbreaker whether he was 35 or 25 or 45.

[Infinity0]

Divorced with no children would be my guess.

[rocketman122]

I know you asked about women being divorced but...

 

well, for me I'm 30. I wouldn't date a divorced guy. A couple reasons-- 1. I am still in the age range where there are TONS of never married guys. So why date a divorced one? I'd prefer MY first marriage to be his.

 

and 2. That would mean he got married most likely in his early 20s and is probably gonna want to experience the carefree, fun, wild youth he didn't get to because he was in a marriage.

 

At 30 I still don't feel ready for marriage/kids.

I think I'd like to marry around 33 and have a baby around 35 (just one). I've been with my bf for 2 years and I'd say this is a fairly achievable timeline.

 

I don't want to be THAT tied down yet.

 

35 and never married seems like no big deal to me, I can't even imagine batting an eye at that. The only way that'd be a dealbreaker is if he NEVER wanted to marry--and that'd be a dealbreaker whether he was 35 or 25 or 45.

 

Good points vegetable girl. Im 41 and im answering based on the age bracket I date. usually women who are older than me and who were not married till 35 or so says alot to me. but yes, for you being younger makes sense to find guys who were not married.

 

the OP asked about 35+ and thats a problem. you should see the endless list of women who arent married and no kids and are desperate to. they sell themselves so hard. tons of pictures. write so much. and I tell you what, there is not much to choose from, cause ive seen the guys. all crumbs. so to you ladies. lock the guy in fast..otherwise youll be like those on OLD. and theyre still there looking. I kid you not.

[Imported]

35 fat and ugly would be the worst. With children is even worse, although there are plenty of never married woman that have kids. Not into fat ugly chicks or other dudes kids. Divorce......did you cheat??? I don't like cheaters. Otherwise if you're single, you're single.

[somedude81]

It's a huge red flag if a woman hits 35 without ever being married.

 

The vast majority of women would have had several opportunities to get married by then. If she hasn't, then why not?

 

Also I know some of you were joking about your ovaries, but 35 is past the prime age to have children. Having kids will be harder on both you and the child.

[rocketman122]

It's a huge red flag if a woman hits 35 without ever being married.

 

The vast majority of women would have had several opportunities to get married by then. If she hasn't, then why not?

 

Also I know some of you were joking about your ovaries, but 35 is past the prime age to have children. Having kids will be harder on both you and the child.

 

Exactly! and you should see some of the hotties on those websites. smoking hot and not scooped up? somethings wrong here.

 

But the big problem is also many men today just dont want to commit.

a lot of single people today.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I wouldn't think anything much of either if I was attracted to her. Everybody has had bad relationships and as someone who struggled so much with dating, to be unsympathetic towards someone in the same boat would be hypocritical to put it lightly.

 

If she said she was a Republican or was against yesterday's decisions that would give me more pause.

[MidwestUSA]

 

Also I know some of you were joking about your ovaries, but 35 is past the prime age to have children. Having kids will be harder on both you and the child.

It may be prime, but plenty of women are having kids after that. I pondered it at 42, and a 49 year old friend of mine just had twins. Granted, the testing is out there such that if you find defects, you could abort. Then, your stance on that decision comes into play, so it's not something that should be done without a LOT of thought.

 

 

My mom was 36 when she had me, no one thought a thing of it.

[JuneJulySeptember]

It's a huge red flag if a woman hits 35 without ever being married.

 

But, as someone who could have easily made it to 35 without having even a GF, aren't you sympathetic towards that?

[Lansing]

I am hoping to meet someone as interesting as me who just also never met the right person before... Maybe someone who focused on their career or didn't date much. I don't think I would date a girl with a kid and probably not someone divorced but you never know.

 

Reality is I am meeting younger girls out and about....Would love to find a place to meet girl in their early 30s. I tried online dating before and it never really worked out. Felt like too much effort for little reward. I may give it a shot again.