swandive83 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 So here's the basic background... Known each other for 6 months, dated for 2 months, we have a mutual group of friends. We got into a bit of an argument, and he ended it via email. I left him alone then a couple weeks ago he texted me. I was cordial with him, and let him have the "last word". Then a couple days ago, he suggested meeting up. I didn't respond to that particular question. He then texted today and said he wanted to meet up to talk about "everything". What does that mean? Does he want to get back together? Does he just want to put closure to everything? Is he just missing me and just wants to spend some time with me? But then will everything go back to us not talking again? What do I say to him? Should I meet up? Help!
veggies Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 If I were you, I'd probably go. My curiosity would get the best of me. We can't tell you what will happen-- you should hope for the best but prepare for the worst. If he did decide he was interested in reconciling, do you know what went wrong in the relationship and what you could both do to fix it? Because if not, you'd just split up again.
Author swandive83 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 I know what went wrong in the relationship, he was very condescending towards me which made me defensive (never had a guy treat me like that and so I stood up for myself). He doesn't like people/women "talking back" to him, so he ended it. And I was fine with it, even though I missed parts of the relationship. Now he contacted me, but never apologized for the break up, or for how rude he was to me. I haven't brought it up because I sort of don't feel like talking about it. Part of me wants to meet up (like you said, the curiosity of it all), another part of me just wants to keep it light and simple, and yet another part of me wants to discuss what happened. However, if we do the last thing I mentioned, I have a feeling he won't admit to doing anything wrong.
TaraMaiden Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Text back: "What is there to talk about? This had better be interesting, my time is precious...." If he cuts through that with courtesy, then meet up. If he comes back with a bitch, then you know he just wants the last word. Unless he demonstrates that he 'gets it', then he's just the same, old same-old and he wants closure by nipping you in the bud..... 1
Author swandive83 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Taramaiden, I commend you, you have way more guts than I! lol I don't think I could ever be that forward... and definitely not with him in particular, he'd lose his mind. There was this one guy who gave him advice about his car - I thought it was very thoughtful, but my "ex" didn't. He was like, "can you believe that idiot?" I was definitely confused by his reaction, he was offended for no reason. In our texts back and forth, while he never apologized, he did seem like he was trying to be sweet/nice. He paid me a compliment (something he hardly ever did while "together"), and said that we can work completely around my schedule. I have to admit that once he mentioned meeting up, that little weight on my shoulders that had been building for a couple weeks was lifted... and for that reason, I want to meet him. I just don't want to get sucked back into something that might not be good for either of us, though. Ugh! How do you block out the physical chemistry and desire you have for a person when they're not right for you?
TaraMaiden Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 By remembering everything about them that's not right for you. If his attitude bothers you, that's not necessarily his problem. He's not going to change for you - and certainly won't have done, or even had a 're-think' in this short time. My guess is - he wants 'closure' on something, but he wants to make sure it's on his terms and that he leaves with the final word. Hence the vague reference to 'everything'. What he means is that 'everything' from his PoV isn't over, until he says it's over. Really? In your shoes, I'd remind myself of what made him distasteful, and shy off any meeting. Keep control of yourself, don't give it up for him. You already know he acts like a jerk. Leave it there.
Author swandive83 Posted June 29, 2013 Author Posted June 29, 2013 Just wanted to update while I was on here: We did end up meeting up earlier today. I was right and he did not admit to doing anything wrong, did not apologize for anything, actually said something quite mean about me... but then followed it with conversations about possibly getting married one day, and just generally talked about himself a lot. He also suggested that we meet up again sometime soon. At a mutual friend's event later on in the night however he avoided me (probably because some of our mutual friend's that everything was my fault...etc. I'm assuming this by the way some of them were treating me). However, after the party/event of course I get a text from him asking me out for tomorrow night... jeez. I'm really starting to resent this guy, but I'm too shy/polite to do anything about it.
TaraMaiden Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Don't fer chrissakes tell us you've accepted.... Please....!
Ms.Logic Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Oh...Lawd No!!!! That's exactly what you should tell him, you don't want to see him. Simple. Its not a crime. And if he keeps pushing chances are you'll d up hating him completely! You'll see him when you're good and ready. There will always be other events. No rush But whatever you do, please don't get back together with him!
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