Beinspired Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Hey guys, I'm new. Here's my story. I was with this girl for 11 months. (7th July was going to be our anniversary) I was really excited and all, I already planned to buy her flowers and even the gift is ready. But things turned sour when I found out what she's been doing behind my back. A week ago, I saw on facebook she was meeting this "Ah lian" (A female version of an ah beng (see ah beng). Bad fashion sense, distasteful female who speaks bad english, is lowly educated, crude, loud, foul mouthed. Often times seen in unsavoury places like nightclubs or karaoke joints. A hokkien term, commonly used in Singapore / Malaysia.) whom I have been telling her to stay away from. Not only that, she was meeting her in the haze which she used as an excuse to not meet me the next day. I then found out she has been meeting this girl to smoke behind my back which I got her to quit a year ago. Then it struck me, she has been asking to go home early whenever she meet me to secretly meet this girl to smoke. Her mutual friend told me everything and when I asked why wasn't I informed earlier, all I got was "I didn't want to blow things up" It sure blew up from there. I was really angry that night. I just questioned her if she did meet her, and she said ya she did but there was NO HAZE. That was a blatant lie and I couldn't take it anymore and I just scolded "**** you". I was expecting an immediate call or text to try remedy the situation from her side. But she never did. I went to sleep angrily that night. Next day, I told her on facebook, if you want to salvage anything in this relationship, contact me. Which she never did, so I just did a silent break up with her. Things were fine over the next few days. We just had NC. Then a text came from her. It was that girl who's been influencing her text me, no not to help us reconcile, but to flame me on how big of a pussy I am. Anyway, long story short, my ex lost me and her best friends because of this girl. Her best friends are all on my side and telling me I deserve someone better. Exactly 6 days later, she posted on facebook, she's in another relationship. I was shocked. I felt nauseous and an urge to just puke. I had no appetite. I felt so crushed. I had to do it. I went to facebook stalk the guy. It was a fat MALAY who looks absolutely slimy. The thing about my ex is, she is absolutely racist against that race and everyone around me has been saying that guy is just a rebound. Since then, she's been posting pictures and statuses of them together. Every time I see it, I get hurt. And also she seems to be replying implicitly to my statuses which may concern her. Like when I met her former best friend, my friend tagged me and just checked in on facebook to let people know we are meeting for coffee. And soon, she went "Haters gonna hate, I love you can already" and she tags the boyfriend. But yesterday when the guy posted a video of them having a conversation, I just can't help it but laughed. The guy was basically acting like a low self esteem baby lying on my ex's lap asking "BABY, IF A GUY WITH A LONGER DICK THAN MINE ASK TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?" I'm like dude, we get it. You have a small dick and my ex probably cheated you into bed and stole your virginity. Stop asking over and over in the video. That video went on her facebook wall and it's amazing how she is seemingly not embarrassed by it. All my friends who have seen the video has said the guy is just a complete loser. I had to say something at least to myself. So I posted "Have you ever facepalmed so hard and felt so embarrassed for the person that you just wanted to die in place for that person? What's worst is when you are most definitely the cause of it." And she started posting on facebook, "no comments, then don't comment! :D" And when one of the friend seems to have poked a little fun at it, she got really defensive with her comments. It was all fun until I started asking myself, why is she with this guy? Is it to get my attention? Did I do this to her? I mean, I really loved her when we were in our 11 months relationship but I just hardly felt cherished and a lack of trust for her which is why I left. My friends around me wouldn't let me talk to her. They are enforcing the NC rule on me and are getting me to destroy all memories of her and delete her from facebook. I really want to stop stalking her but I cannot. What should I do? And is she really self destructing? Or is she genuinely happy?
SimonSerenade Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 That's crazy stuff man, you did well getting out of there, right now there is nothing you can do short of steering clear of her direction and waiting to see how it pans out, ultimately it's your choice though and your relationship is between you and her, friends and outsiders shouldn't really influence your decision, I fail to see how anybody with a conscience can be truly happy so soon after breaking up especially when there rebounding, I know you loved this girl but unfortunately, things like this happen sometimes and if she wants to mess up her life like that I don't see why you have to stick around and watch her do it while getting hurt in the process.
Author Beinspired Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 I don't know if its just me. But I see her post status such as getting her boyfriend to teach her DotA, which is what I love and she knows I am addicted to that game, seems to make me think she is unconsciously using him as a substitute. And the posture of the guy lying on her lap in the video is exactly what we used to do. I would lie on her lap to talk or watch TV together. That's why I am really questioning. Has she gone mad after the break up?! How can she not see what we see the guy as? A complete loser.
SimonSerenade Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 It's possible she's gone mad, this guy doesn't sound like much but for what ever reason she sees him as fun and in my recent experience, you can do everything right and have all the right traits to be a good partner but it means very little if she doesn't feel happy with herself in the relationship anymore, I imagine she's doing all this as some way of compensating for something that she feels she's missing out on in her life, I know you have the right intensions man and I respect that but some women don't see that and they see it as a form of control, like right now, I bet she's lay on her back smoking herself stupid just for the reason that she can and I imagine she's with this friend so much for more or less the same reason. It's possible she's doing these things with this man as a form of what she had with you that maybe she doesn't get anymore, I imagine the delusion will wear off and eventually they'll meet there demise, it's usually the way of things. 1
Author Beinspired Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 I had enough. I deleted all her photos, text, number and facebook today. Or so at least I thought. Just when I was happily chatting with another girl to kill time, I saw that I actually forgot to delete her 2nd facebook account which she has never used in a 1000 years. Apparently, she went on there to change her profile picture (Herself alone instead of the couple picture in her main account) and her cover picture to a self drawn portrait of herself crying in bed, hiding under the blankets. Without hesitation, I deleted that account as well. She's either trying to get my attention OR reminding me to delete her second account as well.
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