Problems/Boyfriend..

[Katie-Lou]

Hello,

 

I'm a 16 year old female, my sister uses this site sometimes.. I have a problem and I'm not quite sure what to do, or how to cope with it.. She told me to come to this site.

 

Basically, not many people understand me. I am a very emotional person, I keep my feelings close to me. I have been on anti-depressants for 2 years, and I am gradually starting to come off them now. This causes me to feel really down and sometimes I'll feel really happy and then everything will change and fall apart and I start to feel sad and insecure. I sometimes don't even understand myself.

 

I don't like going out with my friends at night because someone on the internet, a 47yr old man has my house address. I didn't know he was 47, he told me he was 19 so I gave him my mobile number. He always phones me and speaks dirty to me and tells me he's going to come and find me. So, basically every time I leave the house I get so scared. I always just want to be at home because I feel safe.

 

At home and college are the only places I feel safe, and I try and avoid going other places.

 

Anyway, to the point ... I have a boyfriend. I've been with him for 3 weeks. I really, really, really like him and I don't want to lose him. I was out with him and my 'friend' tonight and it started getting dark and I started getting scared.

 

I said "I'm not feeling too well. Can we go back to my house?' None of them know about this man, or many things about me, as I tend to keep it bottled up inside me.

 

Anyway, they said, "No, we wanna stay out." So I said ok just to not cause an argument. They noticed that I'd gone really quiet and my 'friend' had a huge go at me for alwayz feeling 'ill' (because she doesn't know why I really want to go home).

 

Anyway I said, "See ya later, I'm going home." I went home. My boyfriend walked off with my 'friend' and didn't even say goodbye.

 

I was talking to my friend earlier because she rang me and apologized. She said that my boyfriend had told her that it really pisses him off, because whenever I go out I alwayz feel ill. I really want to tell him about everything. I think I should just tell him everything I've kept bottled up inside me. I think he would understand, but I'm just scared in case he thinks I'm some loony and just gels me on and never speaks to me again.

 

I've never felt like this about anyone before, I've never come close to even thinking of telling people how i feel. It seems different with him. I feel safe and special when I'm with him, but then feel depressed and down when I'm not.

 

I haven't been with him long I know. I do really really like him though, and I don't wanna risk losing him. I don't feel like I could just sit down and tell him though. I'm not an outgoing person. The other thing is that, when we're at my house all I want to do is hug and kiss him. I just hold on so tight because I feel so safe and things around him.

 

He always says to me that he thinks I'm hiding things, but I always say that I'm not even though I am. I just don't know whether to tell him or not, because I know if I was speaking to him about it face to face I'd probably start crying and then he'd think what a twat or something.

 

It's just getting me so down. I don't want him to get fed up with me. So I really don't know what to do.

 

What would you do if you were in my situation?

 

Please help. It's making me feel so down.

 

Thanks,

 

Katie-Lou x

[winnieloveshunny]

Hey Katie!

 

You should tell your parents about this 47 years old man and make a police report. It is possible to trace him from his calls. If he ever calls again, do not pick up the phone. The fact that someone is listening to him will make him call you again. Besides, the more you listen to what he says, the more afraid you become.

 

If I were you, I will tell this friend of mine and my boyfriend about this man and your fear of going out at night. If she is really my friend and my boyfriend truly likes me, they will understand my situation now. Do not go anywhere alone at night for safety reasons. Maybe you can get your boyfriend to send you home or your friend and boyfriend to wait with you for your parents to pick you up when you hang out with them at night.

 

I really want to tell him about everything. I think I should just tell him everything I've kept bottled up inside me. I think he would understand, but I'm just scared in case he thinks I'm some loony and just gels me on and never speaks to me again.

 

Yes, you should tell him. Like I said, he will understand if he truly likes you. If he thinks that you are some loony, then this guy is definitely not worth your time. Your feelings should be important to him.

 

Anyway, it is not abnormal for you to be scared after receiving nuisance calls from a 47 years old pervert. I will be scared too if I were you. You are not a loony and you know that.

 

Do inform your parents ASAP about this man and also to make a police report. This is certainly the first thing that you ought to do now. This man had brought you enough problems. Maybe you can even change your mobile number.

[greenlove]

Hey Katie,

 

I completely agree with Winnie. You don't know what kind of threat this man can be to you. I know your probably scared of how your family will react, but I'm sure your folks will be happy that you came to them and confided in them before something bad may have actually happend to you.

[moimeme]

You absolutely must tell your parents immediately. They might be a little upset, but that will be nothing in comparison with how upset they'll be if something happens to you. Not only that, but if he has your phone number, he may have your address, meaning it's not just you who may be in danger - think of the rest of your family and your friends.

 

A LOT of girls get into this sort of situation without meaning to. People will be much MUCH madder at that guy than they will be at you. He may also be doing this to other girls who aren't smart enough to avoid him. You will do many people a big favour by telling about him and by helping the police catch him.

[Katie-Lou]

Hello,

 

I have told my mum, she's rang the police and told them about it and they've told me to be careful about where i go, not to go anywhere alone or not to be left in my house alone. They've said if i get any more calls to report it straight away, so that's sorted with.

 

I told my boyfriend aswell, I haven't seen him since so i don't know whether he still wants to be with me, but the main things are delt with at least. He understood and stuff, but he hasn't been down since.

 

I also told my friend, and she was really understanding and said that from now on if i don't feel comfortable going out then we can stay inside, which is good that she understands, and she says i've got her support and she was really sorry about what happened, so that's delt with too.

 

It's just the situation with my boyfriend i'm worried about now.

 

Thanks for all you're advice, very much appritiated.

 

Katie-Lou x

[Confused28]

Katie,

 

Please tell your parents about this man from the internet, please! I know you are scared, and telling your parents and contacting the police will make you feel so much better instead of bottling it up inside.

 

Also, it is okay to be on medication, I am too, and it helps me so much. If your boyfriend is a good guy, he will welcome your honestly about this situation and be closer to you as a result. That is the kind of guy you want and deserve! If he leaves you because of it, then he is not a good boyfriend and you deserve someone better! Let us know how it goes :-)

Confused28

[Katie-Lou]

Hello Confussed

 

Thanks for your advice. I have told my mum as i said in my above post.

And i told my boyfriend and he did understand, he seemed kind of shocked though, he went quiet for a few seconds and then just came out with 'That's a bit dodgy, don't worry about it babe'. I think he's understood and now realises why i always make excuses to go to my house instead of staying out. I just hope everything stays the same between the two of us.

 

Another thing that's getting to me though is that i feel so attatched to him, all i ever wanna do is hug and kiss him, i haven't actually slept with him yet, but we have done other things, but all i ever want to do is just be with him, everyday.. like when he stays over i'll stay awake half of the night just looking at him sleeping and stuff. And also when we're led in bed hugging and stuff, i always just stare into his eyes and cuddle him, he always asks why i am looking at him all the time but i don't actually know why i do. I just feel so safe and everything feels so perfect and great when i'm with him. I've never been like this with any boy ever before in my life. Is this normal? Or is it the start of love? It's all so confussing, i have so many emotions running around in my head at the moment.

 

Katie-Lou x