JWS3163 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I found my girlfriend's (of 1 month) diary on accident. And because I'm a insecure child, I read it. Not all of it, but I skimmed through it. I have extreme anxiety problems. I took some of the information I read and got myself worked up that she was cheating or something, and I posted it on Reddit asking for advice. Everyone attacked me and made me realize what I terrible person I was, and furthermore made me realize she did nothing wrong. I planned on telling her next time I saw her, and I did. However, before I came over she found my post, apparently. I ended up reading it today and it was filled with many people telling her to leave me, and she seemed to be on their side. When I got there and confessed to her, she told me she already knew all about it. She was very glad I admitted it to her, although still very bothered by it. The rest of the night went okay...it seemed very off but at the same time she still seemed affectionate and caring. She was of course very upset though. I couldn't quite tell how she felt, i'm sure she was just shocked and confused. Now i'm at a loss. I honestly feel so ashamed and guilty. And I can't believe she's wants to stay with me. I feel like our relationship is ****ed up beyond repair... What do I do? I sort of feel like I should break up with her just because she deserves better than me.
ThaWholigan Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 You f*cked up really bad. I won't elaborate, you've probably been beat up bad everywhere for that. Now you gotta be on your best behavior. You don't have to break up with her - if she decides that she wants to then sure. But you obviously still want her so use this as experience not to do something so stupid next time . 1
Author JWS3163 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 You f*cked up really bad. I won't elaborate, you've probably been beat up bad everywhere for that. Now you gotta be on your best behavior. You don't have to break up with her - if she decides that she wants to then sure. But you obviously still want her so use this as experience not to do something so stupid next time . I guess. I feel though that no matter what I do it's not going to fix this ****. It's unforgivable.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Not all is lost. I once did that (and worse) to a guy and he found out and while he was upset for a while, he didn't dump me over it.
Divasu Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Ouch. You read it AND posted her personal information on the internet. Yeah, you messed up pretty good. What do you do? Apologize and sleep with one eye open. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I guess. I feel though that no matter what I do it's not going to fix this ****. It's unforgivable. She will forgive you. May possibly not save the relationship, but she will. Looks like she will stay with you for now, you just have to take steps to improve your relationship and trust her more. And allow her the space to have her privacy.
henderson14 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 You did the right thing. You admitted it. You could have done worse and cheated? I've had a gf find my email password and go through me emails and every other personal account I had. It was because of her insecurity also. I think in your situation it is not something worth breaking up over.
HokeyReligions Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Did you have to look very hard to find it? I ask that because I remember in a psych class talking about people who leave their diaries where it can easily be discovered "by accident" because they wanted it to be found and read. Sometimes it was a conscious decision and sometimes subconscious but still deliberate.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 What do I do? I sort of feel like I should break up with her just because she deserves better than me. Reddit is full of stupid people. Ignore them. What you did wasn't all that bad. If being insecure and doing something stupid makes you a bad person... then earth has no good people. Let it go... clearly she has moved on. Don't do it again. Besides... who the heck keeps a diary now days?
Author JWS3163 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Not all is lost. I once did that (and worse) to a guy and he found out and while he was upset for a while, he didn't dump me over it. Well that's good to know. She will forgive you. May possibly not save the relationship, but she will. Looks like she will stay with you for now, you just have to take steps to improve your relationship and trust her more. And allow her the space to have her privacy. Yeah, that's about all I can do. And giving her multiple orgasms and flowers. Did you have to look very hard to find it? I ask that because I remember in a psych class talking about people who leave their diaries where it can easily be discovered "by accident" because they wanted it to be found and read. Sometimes it was a conscious decision and sometimes subconscious but still deliberate. I don't think so, it was hidden in her underwear drawer. I was looking through it because she had a new pair on every day I saw her, and I was genuinely curious to see how many she had. Reddit is full of stupid people. Ignore them. What you did wasn't all that bad. If being insecure and doing something stupid makes you a bad person... then earth has no good people. Let it go... clearly she has moved on. Don't do it again. Besides... who the heck keeps a diary now days? I guess you're right. The people in my thread were attacking me like you wouldn't believe. And she made a thread on her own and 90% of the people said to leave me immediately. :/
KatZee Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 You need to learn what "boundaries" are. You having severe anxiety issues is no excuse for you to go digging through someone else's property. If you have questions, be an adult and ASK HER. It's a severe breach of trust, an invasion of privacy, and it shows you really don't have much respect for her property, or personal thoughts. Trust is a hard thing to earn back. You'll probably be in the dog house for a while if she decides to continue on in the relationship. You should really address your issues before you continue on anyhow.
Divasu Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I don't think so, it was hidden in her underwear drawer. I was looking through it because she had a new pair on every day I saw her, and I was genuinely curious to see how many she had. You're counting how many panties she owns too? Things just got weird... 3
Author JWS3163 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 You're counting how many panties she owns too? Things just got weird... I wasn't counting, I was just gonna peak at how many she had :I
Divasu Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I wasn't counting, I was just gonna peak at how many she had :I It's one in the same... I can't see how there is a valid explanation for wanting to know how many pairs of undies someone has. Odd.
Carenth Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Oh boy, not only did you break her trust. You showed that you don't trust her based on nothing but your own insecurity, which is not an excuse for what you did in my opinion. This will take time to heal if it ever does. You need to be on your best behavior if you want this relationship to survive. Even then that might not be enough. Agreed with Katzee you seem to have a problem with respecting her boundaries. Respecting her in general it seems. Don't go through other peoples personal possessions. (that includes rifling through her underwear draw, seriously man that is weird).
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