irc333 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The recent post about the OP stating he went on a short "date' with a woman that told him "she doesn't date", and was baffled. That told me that she was probably sizing him up as a prospective romantic partner (maybe she still is) and just put on the brakes forever or for the time being....but at the moment of their time together....do you think she was sizing him up as a romantic partner? I often wondered this, because I recall actually being asked out by a woman, we went to dinner and went dutch....but she kept asking me questions that most women would ask if they were interested in a prospective partner....like my belief system, both religious and political, my thoughts on kids, etc. The "line of questioning" falls into the realm of "this woman is thinking of me as a prospective partner" ...then if she doesn't think of you as such...she'll throw something out like "I don't like to date" or "I think you're great friend" , etc, etc. Like some may have said, a woman can tell within minutes of an encounter whether or not he'd make boyfriend material...but I often wondered as men, we're being sized up, even though women tend to throw up smoke screens?
Roadkill007 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 to answer the title... no. to answer the first post... Sometimes people aren't actively looking for something, but they're keeping their minds open for the possibility. But, sometimes people just want to talk and exchange opinions and such. Y'know, cause it's not so interesting if the only thoughts that are going around in your head are your own 2
MrCastle Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The recent post about the OP stating he went on a short "date' with a woman that told him "she doesn't date", and was baffled. That told me that she was probably sizing him up as a prospective romantic partner (maybe she still is) and just put on the brakes forever or for the time being....but at the moment of their time together....do you think she was sizing him up as a romantic partner? I often wondered this, because I recall actually being asked out by a woman, we went to dinner and went dutch....but she kept asking me questions that most women would ask if they were interested in a prospective partner....like my belief system, both religious and political, my thoughts on kids, etc. The "line of questioning" falls into the realm of "this woman is thinking of me as a prospective partner" ...then if she doesn't think of you as such...she'll throw something out like "I don't like to date" or "I think you're great friend" , etc, etc. Like some may have said, a woman can tell within minutes of an encounter whether or not he'd make boyfriend material...but I often wondered as men, we're being sized up, even though women tend to throw up smoke screens? When I was a teen, I had asked this girl out, kind of. I hinted that I may like her as more than just friends. She said "I don't want to ruin what we have. I like our friendship." I replied with "okay." Two weeks later she asked me to be her boyfriend. Anyways...moral of the story is--you can grow on people, and feelings can change. People always break their rules. "I won't date bad boys." "I won't date people I work with." "I won't date older." "I won't date younger." Etc, etc. There is no sizing up. People either like you, grow to like you in time, or never like you. 4
Tinie Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Yup, I do that. If a guy approaches me, flirts with me and acts interested, I'm intrigued. If I'm interested, I consider the possibility that he'd be dating material or not. Often with me however, it's just an initial novelty that wears off and I put on the brakes and forget about him. So maybe that's what happened to that girl. She could have had initial interest because the guy was chasing her, then she realized they're not a match and the novelty of his attention wore off. I dunno, that's just my take. 2
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I often wondered this, because I recall actually being asked out by a woman, we went to dinner and went dutch....but she kept asking me questions that most women would ask if they were interested in a prospective partner....like my belief system, both religious and political, my thoughts on kids, etc. The "line of questioning" falls into the realm of "this woman is thinking of me as a prospective partner" Like some may have said, a woman can tell within minutes of an encounter whether or not he'd make boyfriend material...but I often wondered as men, we're being sized up, even though women tend to throw up smoke screens? Those questions are not exclusive to dating interest. I talk about those kinds of things with people I have no interest in ever dating. Also... any woman who is making 5 minute partner decisions is flat out stupid. That is the kind of dumb@ss woman you want to avoid. 1
shexy Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The answer is no.....I don't decide in 10 minutes whether or not someone is a potential partner. Women who do that are probably passing by a lot of great guys! 4
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The answer is no.....I don't decide in 10 minutes whether or not someone is a potential partner. Women who do that are probably passing by a lot of great guys! It should also be mentioned that men who do the 30 second screen tend to be shallow and miss out on tons of great women.
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I'll admit that I've asked such questions with the possibility of romance down the line at some point... only in non-date situations though. I don't agree to dates with strangers, so I need to find out somehow what his values and interests are... ...and no... a guy being physically attractive is not enough for me to go on a 'date' with him.
Ripnet Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 OP you need to stop thinking this way. This will turn a woman off if she knew you were thinking like this. 2
fishtaco Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 The answer is no.....I don't decide in 10 minutes whether or not someone is a potential partner. Women who do that are probably passing by a lot of great guys! It's more like 10 seconds. That's the first "assessment". If you don't survive that first assessment, you are pretty much out. And it doesn't mean you're ugly or whatever. I've had one woman think I'm totally hot, while another woman wouldn't even give me the time of the day. And it's not dependent on the attractive level of the woman, it's just... random. Hence dating isn't to focus on one person and making that person become attracted to you, but instead to sort out ones that are interested vs ones that are not, and only spend effort on the ones that are. What's wrong with that anyway? I meet a bunch of women, especially during my single days. Some right away I just do not feel any sort of attraction to. Recently I met this strange Asian woman. Nice body, fairly pretty, but has a cross betwen snobby and totally vacant look, and a strange frozen smile on her face all the time. Not attracted to her at all. But I'm sure a lot of dudes would be right there buying her drinks. There, I just did it. I assessed her in 10 seconds and she was out. You can't say that doesn't happen. Even if I were single, I would not date the strange frozen-smile Asian chick. Even if she were a great woman, I'd pass her up. But most likely, she cray. I know these things. My spidey sense was tingling. And you women have even more highly-developed spidey sense then us men. I will not, for one single second, believe any woman that has never gotten a strange/negative vibe about some dude they just met, and stayed their distance. Guess what? You've just assessed him out within 10 seconds too. 3
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I have done it... I usually say that I don't date because then I don't want to be set up with every joe someone knows that is single. It also removes pressure from interactions on both sides. In reality, if a guy comes along that blows me away, I wouldn't exactly say no. 2
Author irc333 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Seriously,what's your hang up on not dating strangers? A stranger is a friend you haven't met yet...you have to start somewhere..think about it, EVERYONE (well, other than blood relatives) that you've met...was a stranger at one time, right? I'll admit that I've asked such questions with the possibility of romance down the line at some point... only in non-date situations though. I don't agree to dates with strangers, so I need to find out somehow what his values and interests are... ...and no... a guy being physically attractive is not enough for me to go on a 'date' with him.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I often wondered this, because I recall actually being asked out by a woman, we went to dinner and went dutch....but she kept asking me questions that most women would ask if they were interested in a prospective partner....like my belief system, both religious and political, my thoughts on kids, etc. The "line of questioning" falls into the realm of "this woman is thinking of me as a prospective partner" ...then if she doesn't think of you as such...she'll throw something out like "I don't like to date" or "I think you're great friend" , etc, etc. Like some may have said, a woman can tell within minutes of an encounter whether or not he'd make boyfriend material...but I often wondered as men, we're being sized up, even though women tend to throw up smoke screens? Yes. I evaluate every potential dating partner and if I don't think we are compatible I'll say something bland or just remove myself from his environs - depending on how close we are. Sometimes just cut them off from facebook or whatever. It is very much a process of evaluation for compatibility with men I find sexually attractive.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Like some may have said, a woman can tell within minutes of an encounter whether or not he'd make boyfriend material...but I often wondered as men, we're being sized up, even though women tend to throw up smoke screens? Speaking just for me rather than my entire gigantic gender, I can tell if I feel attraction for a man within the first few minutes. A lack of that usually would result in no more dates. "Relationship material"? That takes a while, sometimes a long one. But the feeling of attraction is a necessity. No, hotttttnessss, height, bulging muscles or a fat wallet are not requirements for the attraction. 3
Recommended Posts