UpDate. Fly to Berlin in A Few Hours. Hooked With Another Guy.

[sweetkiwi]

You care way too much what others think of you.

[Sheilalou008]

Just have fun and do what you want. If some people don't like you, who cares. Let them be vapid, gossip whores.

 

No need to over explain everything.

[Leigh 87]

Sooooo glad about the two new girls I get along well with.

 

I kept to myself a bit initially on tour. I was quiet ill actually. Before I knew it, those traveling alone had bonded. I was busy from day 2 getting to know a guy. At that point a girl I had become quiet good friends with prior to the tour, didn't approve of me hooking up with 2 ghhs in 2 days and stopped talking to me.

 

I never met her but she rang me most nights and sent very long fb messages. I even took stuff out of my suitcase for her, so she could fit all her things in. Contiki has a weight limit. She was over. I helped her out and left lots of my clothes behind for her.

 

Then she jusy stopped talking to me after I kissed 2 guys in 2 days. When she knew that I was in a loyal relationship with my ex for years....Hah at least from my part.....

 

It just snowballed from there. Hooked up with guy 1. Then hooked up with guy 2. Both guy 1 and 2 wouldn't talk to me after. I lost my female friend from the tour over it.

 

That was all by day 2. From there, I spent the day with a guy. Nothing sexual. We just enjoyed the day together. All the female solo travelers had formed bonds with each other by then.

 

Plus guy 1 was a little upset with me for kissing guy 2 in front of him. Therefore

We avoided each other. As well as my ex friend avoiding me and, in turn, me having to avoid her group of friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's all okay now. I smile and initiate conversation. Even with the bitchy people.

 

I am sure I'll experience some nightlife oved here yet.The

[Chi townD]

Please don't write anymore posts about how wrong you think casual sex is.

 

I will also ignore and block people who say things like I need serious help. As I already see a therapist and I quiet enjoy life in spite of my issues.

 

Keep the thread on track thanks. It's about moving on from an ex. In any manner that you see fit at the time.

 

 

And for you, that involves lots of sex!

 

Leigh, I think you're great! I love the advice that you give in other threads and it's pretty sound advice!

 

Personally, I really don't care. If you want to hook up then hook up. Just be safe about it. What does concern me is if you're using men to fill a void that your Ex left behind. If you answer yes, then that's unhealth behavior and hopefully you'll realize that.

 

But, we're on a forum where you have people across the globe giving advice! And maybe in Australia, maybe random hookups is not an uncommon thing or as taboo as other places in the world. Maybe it's more acceptable in her culture. Who am I to say.

 

All I know is a tall, blonde Aussie girl that likes to have a lot of sex....Where were you when I was in my twenties!!!

 

Just Kidding!.....sorta...

Edited July 9, 2013 by Chi townD

[crederer]

hey. I don't care if you're having casual sex and what not, whatever turns your crank.

 

I've seen people behave this way to try and forget or act like things are good when in reality it's just a facade. Then after a while they feel terrible about themselves and etc. The nature of your posts makes me believe this may be the case with you. Not saying it is for sure I just kind of get that vibe from it all.

 

Try to respect yourself and make the right choices for you.

 

Also how did the ex hear about it? Was it kind of intentional? I mean, even if I had mutual friends with my ex they wouldn't tell her my doings and they wouldn't likely tell me her's either.

 

Anyways, hope it's been as good as you've been saying!

[Leigh 87]

I don't feel a huge urge to be with my ex. I mean, it's just not something I'm even entertaining because I only want a guy who is madly in love with me; too much to let me go.

 

He found out about the first hook up because he rang me. He just new. He asked what I had been doing. I said I went out. He was extremely upset. He hadn't let go of hope for us entirely. Me breaking the physical barrier with another guy was what it took for him to let me go fully.

 

Some news. I was mingling and making connections with the new people. A new hot guy followed me around and made it clear that he wanted to hook up. Everything was looking up for me...

 

....until I got SO wasted that I now literally cannot remember the night. I was sitting alone with that guy who was interested in me. We had vodka shots, as we were in Russia. I never have shots, and, evidently, I get very drunk very quickly from them.

 

I woke up in my room. No idea how I got there. I spoke briefly to someone this morning and apparently a girl had to help me walk up to the room where I then vomited all over my rook mates bed. Oh god.

 

So I skipped tve the day tour lol to rest. Not sure if the new guy will still be interested. LOL.

 

Everyone else has gotten drunk on tour. I am embarrassed and I now know not to have shots with people I'm not close with where I could embarrass myself.

 

It will be hard, but I plan on saying that I'm very sorry to the girl who's bed I puked on. A very sincere apology. Then I'll continue doing what I was previously doing: smiling, being friendly and just trying to establish connections with the new people.

 

It will be hard to recover from this. It sucks as things were really looking up. Not to mention I had a very hot hook up lined up lol.

 

I gotta be strong and, if need be, I'll just keep totally to myself if no one will dare talk to me again.

 

They have all probably drunk too much themselves before. Fingers crossed that I won't have to be totally alone on tour.

 

I don't have these social issues in Aus. I literally go out and regularly find people who want to spend the rest of their night with me.

 

I have no issues meeting friends in real life. The tour just got hard when I did and said a few questionable things to a few people. Just pertaining to men on tour. Then they all got close and didn't want to have much to do with me.

 

I am really hoping I continue with the new guys. Having them helped as I still talked to the bitchy people and just everyone on tour I talked to a little. ...as I had new people to hang out with.

 

During these difficult times there is a small sense of missing having my ex to lean on. We were very close.

 

We started talking again too. My ex and I. Just on fb. I don't have any inclination to get back together or anything. .. we just talk about my travels and he is supporting me through tbe social issues I've had.

 

It really doesn't feel risky. I wouldn't lose it if he informed me that he had found someone else. I want to end up with the right guy who is deeply in love with me. There is no urge to have to make my ex that guy. It feels useless to be upset over him.

 

I just have a lot going on for me to think about right now.

 

And yes- if a girl or guy on tour got wasted like hell, in the manner in which I did, I would still welcome them. I wouldn't want them to be isolated and ignored by everyone. I would still talk to them and try to get them back into mingling with the rest of the group.

 

And certain ppl on tour have gotten super drunk.

[TaraMaiden]

Amazing how a few drinks can turn you from a gorgeous, delectable,desirable willowy blonde, into a fumbling, mumbling drunken mess of a puke-wreck, huh?

 

And just because 'certain ppl on tour have gotten super drunk' doesn't mean you can lower your standards, defences and respectability (even further) by doing the same.

 

(Good grief.....Let's hope nobody's brought any heroin or cocaine along....!)

[Leigh 87]

I never really have shots. The times I have I've literally woken up the next day with NO recollection. .....

 

I'm going to get the new girl whos bed bed I puked on a little gift and sincerely apologize.

[Leigh 87]

And I am dying to try cocaine lol. When I'm at a club sometime.

 

Sigh. I've also had some really fun nights when I have drunk.

 

I never went wild when I was younger. I never partied. Until I was almost 25. I'm 26 now, so...

 

I'm still learning my limits.

 

Damn it though. The new hot guy really took a liking to me lol. He followed me around all evening. Oh what a fail!

 

No more hook ups for Leigh 87. I only pray that the new girls and a couple of older tour members still talk to me. If not, I will still enjoy my travels. I'll just not have a social component.

[tinker683]

We broke up almost 2 months ago.

 

I got with someone new. Best sex of my life.

 

He found out. He lost it. He is genuinely heart broken. He still felt like we were together. That I was just working my sh*te out.

 

We WERE No Contact until, after he incessantly contacting me, I crumbled and answered his call. He knew instantly that I had hooked up with someone new.

 

Well, it's good to hear you're having fun

 

But how did he find out?

 

I am serious: he has not even thought about it yet. He has not gone out. He did not think either of us should have been ready to "go there" yet, with other people. In his mind I did something terrible.

 

Well, it sounds like he was in denial and his discovery was a very rude Reality Check. I had a similar experience when I found out my ex was dating another guy a couple of months after our break up.

 

It's hard. He's not right in his assertions about you, everyone has their own pace, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with.

 

I could not care less, frankly, and he deserved to be hurt by it. Although I care a lot about him and do not like to hurt him. He let me go though, so I deserve to go and enjoy great sex with hot guys, while I am still in my 20's and can attract the hottest men. Won't last forever:lmao:

 

Well, sure, you only live once and all that but I think the bolded may be a little unfair. Your comment comes off as vindictive and I think if you really DID care about him you wouldn't feel that way. Are you still angry with him over what happened that you feel some need to strike back at him in some way?

 

I am okay now. I don't cry about him anymore. I do not wake up or go to sleep unhappy. I am happier now than when I was with him, as I am with friends literally every day, and I have a much fuller life.

 

This is always good to hear

 

So, I have been with another guy. My first ever one night stand. It was right, it was amazing, but don't worry. This is not a downward spiral. I have been living well, going out every night with friends, yet not drinking. I mentioned wanting casual sex initially, but in the end I just forgot about it. I definitely was not looking for this hot one night stand.

 

It blew my mind. We were crazily attracted to each other. He has a thing for slim blondes. Anyways. I was so much more attracted to him upon first sighting of him, than I was with my ex.

 

As awful as it sounds, meeting a guy who I Had such hot chemistry with that we LITERALLY wanted to rip each others clothes off? I WANT better for myself than what I had with my ex. Only after TIME with my ex, after a week or two with him, did I feel that " I want to rip your clothes off" chemistry.

 

I am more a relationship girl, but it helped to be with a guy who was so much better in bed than my ex, technically speaking, and who showed me how much I CAN enjoy sex and men WITHOUT my ex. It just confirmed that I am just great without him. Albeit, I AM NOT indifferent. Just accepting of the break up.

 

It sounds like you're moving along and you're enjoying your new found power and sexual freedom, both of which I think are very positive things for any woman coming out of a relationship

 

.........................................................

 

After the break up,

 

he came over to my house to hug me in bed at night right up until No Contact. He was not moving on, and neither was I. Although I was used to going days without seeing him. I never saw my dogs. I was okay with life without him. I did not wake up or go to sleep upset or thinking about him.

 

After he found out about the hook up? He said he could not be with me for a long time. I literally laughed out loud. He left? OF COURSE he did not want to be with me? WTF.

 

He said he loved me enough to marry me and have a life with me. That he had been around ENOUGH women to KNOW what the real deal is.

 

Whatever. He left. Now he cannot handle the consequences? That I Will move on and enjoy sex with other men?

 

............................................................

 

I instigated No Contact after many failed attempts. It was only after weeks of him reaching out that I let in. I shouldn't have. It only hurt him a lot.

 

Anyways. He texted me goodbye - I fly off to Berlin in a few hours.

 

I am not upset at all over the break up and I was madly in love with my ex - just do people on here KNOW that it does get better.

 

It really gets better. You miss them, but you do not long to be WITH them.

 

Good luck to you all.

 

Well, I think it's best that you and he maintain No Contact as it doesn't seem to be doing either of you any good. He sounds like he's got some things he needs to work on.

 

Enjoy your freedom! I would only urge caution for the scene in which you are about to embark. You'll have a great deal of fun I'm sure but there's also the risk that you could run into some really shady character. Stay safe and be careful

[clia]

Please be careful, Leigh. Getting black out drunk in a foreign country when you are not with friends is very dangerous. You are lucky that girl took you back to your room.

 

Have you noticed that the root of all of your social difficulties on this trip has been men and/or alcohol?

[Leigh 87]

We drunk in the hotel. I won't ever just go out and get drunk at another venue. Although I'll have a beer or two if every one else in the group is there. I definitely won't get drunk again.

 

It's scary waking up and not knowing how u got to your room. Another girl on the tour also had a bad experience like that. .... she joined the tour on the ferry to Helsinki and she got WASTED .... she said she hooked up with one of the bar tenders and she doesn't remember what happened.

 

Not a nice experience. Especially since if you get drunk and act silly, it's not like my good friends are there to love me unconditionally ( well, relatively unconditionally! )

[Leigh 87]

I talked to a bubbly girl from Kentucky, she's friends with everyone on tour.

 

I told her that I wanted to leave the tour due to being lonley. I told her everything that is bothering me.

 

She's been lovely. She wants to help me in anyway she can.

 

I am hoping that enough people, namely, the new people, will respond positively if I'm nice and friendly.

[forgetmenot75]

sorry I didn't follow all of your story...what tour did you take? It was a tour for single people or something like that?

[Lost_Soul_86]

Well that sucks, i just got back from a tour with Top Deck and i can honestly say there was not one hot guy in my group...it seems you have seen more hot guys on this tour than i have in a whole year back home and in Europe!

 

Maybe im just fussy haha

[Leigh 87]

Well that sucks, i just got back from a tour with Top Deck and i can honestly say there was not one hot guy in my group...it seems you have seen more hot guys on this tour than i have in a whole year back home and in Europe!

 

Maybe im just fussy haha

 

 

 

I hooked up with the hottest guys in my group from night 1. LOL.

 

Naughty me. There isn't that much hooking up, although there is a new couple that met on the group. Also, when there were more people on the tour, before a lot of then departed in other countries, there were about 4 hook up couples, mostly on the ferry to Helsinki. It's calked the love boat- as they have an all u can eat and drink within two hours.

 

People were so ****efaced. I just stayed in my room:( albeit I was visited by a guy in the tour that I was hooking up with.

 

I am determined to put things behind me and be friendly and get along with enough girls to have fun with.

 

Although some people, I really don't find some of the girls very nice to talk to... they get their close friends and bitch about others.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Please stop bitching about how the other girls bitch about others. I doubt you know what they talk about.

 

You know how Andrew disliked all the drama? Well, most people dislike it. Sounds like your role on this tour is to be the attention seeking drama queen. Carry on, but don't blame other people if they respond in an unfavorable way to that. I would myself.

 

Leigh, I know this is harsh … put please, just have fun in whatever way works best for you and STFU with all your rationalizing. It's exhausting, and it only serves to make you appear to be full of BS.

[Leigh 87]

sorry I didn't follow all of your story...what tour did you take? It was a tour for single people or something like that?

 

 

Not a tour for singles. Although a few people have hooked up. Luckily for me, the hottest guys came to me first. Lucky Leigh 87 I'm not the hottest thing out tgere by any stretch and plenty of guys have zero attraction to me, so please don't think I'm showing off or being conceited. I do not think I'm that great.

 

I'm just enjoyed having fun with the hot guys lol

 

However, the hot guy from night one has no attraction to any one else in the tour... there are no slim girls with sexy bodies on tour, where as there are a few hot guys.

 

I'm sure some of the guys are disappointed lol. There us literally one other slim girl, and she's quiet pretty. I don't see her hooking up though.

 

Grrrrrrrrrrr. The newest guy is hot and he came straight to me but damn it. I got drunk and prob turned him off. He apparently got wasted too.

 

So yeah. I'm annoyed I can't have fun with the new hottie. We were about to hook up until I blew it.

 

Oh well. I'm going to just leave him alone now. I'll work on talking to others. Once I'm cool woth the new people and he sees I'm okay, maybe he'll talk to me again after my drunken antics.

[Mme. Chaucer]

there are no slim girls with sexy bodies on tour, where as there are a few hot guys.

 

I'm sure some of the guys are disappointed lol. There us literally one other slim girl, and she's quiet pretty.

 

That right there? Makes you look like a douche.

[Leigh 87]

Please stop bitching about how the other girls bitch about others. I doubt you know what they talk about.

 

You know how Andrew disliked all the drama? Well, most people dislike it. Sounds like your role on this tour is to be the attention seeking drama queen. Carry on, but don't blame other people if they respond in an unfavorable way to that. I would myself.

 

Leigh, I know this is harsh … put please, just have fun in whatever way works best for you and STFU with all your rationalizing. It's exhausting, and it only serves to make you appear to be full of BS.

 

 

 

I'm not causing drama. I got drunk and blanked out. As a lot of people do. I didn't intend to. I hate attention in general. I'm uncomfortable with confrontation. I only like positive attention.

 

And I don't think some of the girls are very nice. My parents wouldn't either- I was brought up a certain way and some people I just find uninspiring and mean.

 

That's okay though. I can't click with everyone! I am nice to them all. I smile and say hello. They don't like me either so it works well.

 

Personally, I don't look down on people who don't wait for the right person, before being intimate. Sadly, some people are judgmental and feel you're beneath them if you have casual hook ups. Instead of being abstinent until you meet mr right.

 

Others have hooked up as much as I have on tour. So....

 

I just enjoy being friendly and social. I was finally getting along with people last night, as I didn't really like anyone from the original tour. The new people were a welcome change.

 

There are some nice people from the original tour just not many lol.

[Leigh 87]

That right there? Makes you look like a douche.

 

 

I'm being honest. I and my family and friends know I'm a lovely person. I'm far from a douche.

 

You won make me change my perception of myself. You're always negative on here and onlyppoint out the bad things you claim I am.

 

I'm honest in saying that there are no stereotypical hot babes on tour who are slim and pretty like most guys want. That's not mean. Just honest. Hence why the hottest guys liked the idea of me. There was no better options and they were attracted to me. Even though I am by no means universally attractive to everyone. I'm not saying I'm hot ****e. I'm saying that sone. SOME hot guys tend to like slimish blondes with a nice body shape (to THEM at least)

 

If there were more attractive girls then the hooking up would be far more rampant. And I never said I'm that hot. Some guys think so. Others don't.

 

So don't turn this into one of your stupid games where you make this about me looking down on others due to their looks. I merely made an objective observation. About other girls on tour.

 

I was trying to explain how the hooking up hadn't been that common place on account of the girls not being what most guys would consider sexy.

 

There would be a lot more hooking up if it were to the contrary. That is ALL I meant. I DO NOT think I'm any better than anyone else.

[Leigh 87]

I'll not say these sort of statements to people though. I can see how it would make me look like an @sshole.

 

A girl I sometimes talk to even said it lol; that the girls on the tour are all ugly. She said it. I didn't start that.

 

I'm more concerned with enjoying my time here and being more social and friendly. It was a nice idea to have thar hot guy follow me around. A very fun aspect of being in my 20s. A great bonus to the trip.

 

I find having a hot guy to kiss every now and again on tour is something fun, sonething extra to look foward to. Yet by no means important or essential to fully enjoying the trip.

 

That's my outlook on men on tour.

 

I was just being honest about there being far more hot guys than there are girls.

[clia]

No one on the tour owes you anything. They don't have to be friendly to you, nice to you, or hang out with you. Everyone on your tour paid hundreds or thousands of dollars to take a trip around Europe -- they didn't pay that kind of money to become besties with you. It's totally within their right to not hang out with you. The fact that you seem so offended that people aren't recognizing how nice, lovely, and friendly you are is just kind of delusional given your actions so far.

 

I don't know how many days you've been on your trip, but you have hooked up with one guy, promised him he'd be the only one, then promptly hooked up with another guy, then hooked up with a third guy. You said you got drunk and jumped in a fountain one night. You planned to hook up with a fourth guy, but then got so drunk you blacked out and puked on your roommate's bed. (By the way, what happened to guy number 3, who you planned on remaining FWB with when you get back home?) I mean...how is that not a lot of drama? I don't find it hard to believe that the other girls on the tour don't want to hang out with you after hearing that, and I suspect that is only the tip of the iceberg. And given the track record, it's also not surprising that the guys who want to hook up are flocking to you. Word gets around.

 

You are free to act however you want, hook up with whoever you want to hook up with, and get as wasted as you want. But to do all that and then turn around and act all high and mighty because that type of behavior alienates other people on the tour makes no sense. At least own it. Because from what you've posted here, you are hugely bothered that no one wants to hang out with you, yet, you seem unable to make the link as to why. You may well be a lovely, friendly, nice person, but from what you've described, you haven't been acting that way on the tour.

[CarrieT]

July 7 - 4:50 a.m. PST

No more hook ups for Leigh 87. I only pray that the new girls and a couple of older tour members still talk to me. If not, I will still enjoy my travels. I'll just not have a social component.

 

About five hours later - 9:58 a.m.

I hooked up with the hottest guys in my group from night 1. LOL.

 

Naughty me.

 

 

I and my family and friends know I'm a lovely person. I'm far from a douche.

 

Oy vey.

[Leigh 87]

Everything is okay now.

 

I had a talk to two girls on tour. A teacher from Kentucky and a recent uni graduate from aussie.

 

I had dinner with them. They were so caring and helpful about my situation where I've been feeling isolated.

 

So everything is fine now. I go and talk to everyone.

 

And EVERYONE apparently got extremely wasted today on a boat tour. They said my drunken antics were nothing compared to those guys..

 

Also.. they were saying that a LOT of girls on tour, including one girl with a long term boyfriend, have hooked up WAY more than me.

 

Sadly, everyone WITH partners back home have ALL cheated on them...........

 

And lastly- the dude I almost hooked up with got soooo wasted and made a bit of a dick out of himself. The girls said I dodged a bullet.