UpDate. Fly to Berlin in A Few Hours. Hooked With Another Guy.

[ASG]

I genuinely believe I'm a very nice person. That's my truth.

 

I realize that I acted way off. I am self aware enough to look back and determine that my actions were in bad taste. I can see everything I did that I never wish to repeat.

 

Lesson is definitely leant.

 

It is just so different to what I am familiar with- normally, I fit in very well in big groups.

 

I guess I acted out and now I have no second chance to prove myself.

 

Some people do talk to me and walk around with me. But it is me who seeks them out and makes the effort to want to walk with them. They already have their close friends.

In regards to casual sex. I am not looking to have sex again for a long time since that fling before my trip. However, I enjoy kissing and dancing with guys if I really feel it with them.

I would rather not hook up if I am not strongly drawn to the guy lol. I hook up because I'm turned on and enjoy the guys company. I don't hook up for the same of hooking up.

 

Thats where I am sexually speaking. Other people on tour have kissed. There is one couple out of it too.

 

You can believe whatever you want. But if you keep singing your own praises, you're going to sound conceited and not even that honest. So just keep it to yourself! Actions speak louder than words. BE nice instead of SAYING you are nice.

 

And what's wrong in you approaching other people? It happens! Sometimes YOU have to make the effort!

As an example, I'll share two experiences of mine. For a while I worked on cruise ships.

On my first contract, I had to make the effort to make friends with people. I had to be the one to call and meet people, because, even though everyone was quite friendly, I wasn't necessarily their first choice.

 

On my second contract, on another ship, things couldn't have been more different. I didn't have to make an effort, at all. By the end of the second week, my phone was always ringing off the hook, with people inviting me to go to the beach, to dinner, etc etc etc.

 

Different settings mean we have to adapt. Make the effort! If those people enjoy your company, then try and be around them more.

[Leigh 87]

You can believe whatever you want. But if you keep singing your own praises, you're going to sound conceited and not even that honest. So just keep it to yourself! Actions speak louder than words. BE nice instead of SAYING you are nice.

 

And what's wrong in you approaching other people? It happens! Sometimes YOU have to make the effort!

As an example, I'll share two experiences of mine. For a while I worked on cruise ships.

On my first contract, I had to make the effort to make friends with people. I had to be the one to call and meet people, because, even though everyone was quite friendly, I wasn't necessarily their first choice.

 

On my second contract, on another ship, things couldn't have been more different. I didn't have to make an effort, at all. By the end of the second week, my phone was always ringing off the hook, with people inviting me to go to the beach, to dinner, etc etc etc.

 

Different settings mean we have to adapt. Make the effort! If those people enjoy your company, then try and be around them more.

 

 

 

You're right about bragging. I do it on here to give people a true idea of how I am but seriously. In real life, I do not talk about how nice I am.

 

I was making a point. I really love that about myself: that I am so kind to others. It does not mean I walk around bragging about it to anyone. Loveshack is not a 100% a reflection of how I conduct myself in real life.

 

Anyway. I won't say it again. It seems like people just can't accept it when I say something positive about myself. Instead people question it. When I know damn well what I personally believe to be a nice person or not. I was brought up with certain values. I won't agree when people question whether I'm nice. I will always believe that I'm a nice girl who did a crappy thing.

 

Well at dinner we got ten new ppl. The new girls sat alone. There are two new guys. Ones from Australia too. He was sitting near me so I introduced myself and initiated a convo.

 

I'll speak to the new girls tomorrow.

 

We loose another 10 people in Helsinki. And gain another 6 people in Russia.

 

I have decided to make more of an effort talking to people. I will explore alone and I will also try to tag along with others occasionally.

[Leigh 87]

I can safely say that my ex is definitely an after thought.

 

I am too busy either enjoy being in other countries or analyzing my social issues on tour.

 

I can see how things change in certain scenarios. ............. for instance, on a different tour, I can see myself fitting in with most people and getting along well with a lot of people.

 

Back home I seem to have enough people who like having me around, in their lives. Who happen to be pretty decent people. Therefore I guess I just effed up on tour and never got the chance to truly talk at length with most people here.

 

Not that they would all have liked me anyway, but knowing what I know now, I am fairly positive that I could have mingled with at least some people to the extent to which I could party and dance with them. If I never made the stupid mistakes I made.

 

I am really hoping that enjoying my time alone here and also smiling and initiating more conversations with people may help..... yet I can't see myself truly making any friends. Unless the new girls are cool and enjoy being around me.

 

I'm going to make an effort to be super nice to the new girls.

[Leigh 87]

Apologies for stupid spelling errors. On my smartphone.

 

Ugh. I miss my friends at home whom I can share a bottle of wine with.

 

Lol. With all the people coming and going I am sure there could be opportunities to pick myself ul after the mess I made, insofar as drinking and partying are concerned.

 

Lol though. The girls I danced with all night and the dude who danced with us and kissed me all night sat together at dinner and they hang out sometimes.

 

Yet none of them have any interest in talking to me really. I guess they have no idea how isolated I am and they prob think I am doing my own thing and don't neex to rely on them. Which I don't neec to ( rely on them). I just don't have many people to party with, either. It's not like I neex those girls, but it would be nice if we could talk occasionally and even dance together again.

 

I can see them being open to hanging out or drinking with me again. Maybe.

 

Thank god the second guy I kissed on tour, who partied with those girls and no longdr talks to me, is leaving in Helsinki.

 

Actually, he does happily talk to me when I initiate.

[Leigh 87]

By the way, I've been sick. With early starts and no really early nights.

 

I had a very sore throat and ears initially. Then I broke out in cold sores. Now the coldsores are drying out and are not as sore or noticeable.

 

Now I have a blocked nose. It is a good thing I'm taking it easy and not drinking often.

 

By the way, I learned how to go about hook ups on tour. You do it very discretely.

 

I have been hooking up with a third guy. It's good because we have absolutely no feelings towards each other yet we are very attracted.

 

Where as I liked the first guy a bit too much. There was something there that I know he felt too. Not for a relationship but, there were certainly some feelings there. The kind that make hook ups amazing. Since there is some considerable affection there.

 

He made me promise not to kiss anyone else on tour:( he loved to cuddle and spoon me in bed. He told me to finish the tour in Poland and spend time there with him, rather than go on to Berlin like I have planned.

 

I'm an idiot for messing up with him. It would have been a very affectionate and deep casual situation.

 

The guy I have been hooking up with has a cute face and speaks fluent Russian. He's intelligent.

 

Lol. I just don't feel it with him the way I did with guy 1 lol. He loves to go down for hours though and he doesn't like getting much in return. He was convenient for me. We were convenient for each other.

 

I hate to say it, but hooking up with new guys does help me forget about my ex. Although I realise casual hook ups are not for everyone.

 

I am still really enjoying men, since Andrew...... despite the drama I caused. I deserved to lose him over it. I've really learnt my lesson too. I am strongly averse to screwwing up again.

[ASG]

Apologies for stupid spelling errors. On my smartphone.

 

Ugh. I miss my friends at home whom I can share a bottle of wine with.

 

Lol. With all the people coming and going I am sure there could be opportunities to pick myself ul after the mess I made, insofar as drinking and partying are concerned.

 

Lol though. The girls I danced with all night and the dude who danced with us and kissed me all night sat together at dinner and they hang out sometimes.

 

Yet none of them have any interest in talking to me really. I guess they have no idea how isolated I am and they prob think I am doing my own thing and don't neex to rely on them. Which I don't neec to ( rely on them). I just don't have many people to party with, either. It's not like I neex those girls, but it would be nice if we could talk occasionally and even dance together again.

 

I can see them being open to hanging out or drinking with me again. Maybe.

 

Thank god the second guy I kissed on tour, who partied with those girls and no longdr talks to me, is leaving in Helsinki.

 

Actually, he does happily talk to me when I initiate.

 

They don't have to know whether you're isolated or not because it's not their problem! If you want to NOT be isolated, GO TALK TO PEOPLE!

 

You're going on and on about how people don't talk to you but it's not actually true. YOU don't talk to them. People don't have to go out of their way to talk to anyone. YOU are the one feeling left out, so YOU are the one that needs to do something about it!

[Leigh 87]

I plan to do that. I hope it gets positive results!

 

I never said they owed me anything. Personally though, if I knew a person was isolated, I would make more of an effort to include them. That's just me. I don't expect everyone to be like that.

 

I am not sure they know the situation with me. Although they knew about the first guy and they URGED me to get with guy two, as they thought he was hotter ( than guy 1)

 

So they are not part of the group who frowns upon my casual hook ups.

 

They are just very good friends, they are early 20s and they stick together. They wouldn't have the time to waste even thinking about me and my isolation.

 

It will be awesome with the new people.

 

I will be more out going, however, there are truly a group of girls who are very close, yet won't be open to anything other than small talk with me. No matter how pleasant I am. Some groups of girls on the tour are simply too close to be cracked. To let me, an outsider, in. Especially with a reputation.

 

Not everyone knows of my reputation. Some that know don't care. They just have their close friends and I guess I don't compel them to want to include me more.

 

I am just going to initiate conversation and talk especially with the new girls.

[clia]

Why don't you just go out and party with the new guy you are hooking up with?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Wow, 4 guys in less than 2 weeks … keep it up and you'll get through all your fellow tourists before you get back on home soil.

 

I don't understand that kind of behavior, but whatever floats your boat is good for you.

 

But since physical intimacy is obviously not a big deal to you, why are you making such a huge deal of it here on LS?

 

I hope you aren't just trying to prove to the whole world that guys want to f*** you.

[Leigh 87]

I kissed 3 guys within 2 weeks. Slept with 1.

 

I would never do that in Australia lol. It is only feasible on holiday.

 

Intimacy is a huge deal to me. I can just separate sex and emotions. I DO very much enjoy being intimate with a loving partner. I stayed very loyal during my last relationship.

 

I just don't want to wait until I find the right guy, to enjoy sex. Many people are like me.

 

Everyone is hooking up from my tour. It's no big deal.

 

I still regard physical intimacy very highly: when it is with someone I love.

 

The fact I enjoy hooking up with men that I'm not in a loving relationship with doesn't mean that I value sex with a loving partner less than that of a person who doesn't engage in casual sex.

 

And I hooked up because I derive enjoyment from it. It's laughable that I would do it to prove something. It is not something that I am proud of, nor am I ashamed of... it's no big deal and certainly not something I am doing for anything other than my own pleasure.

 

I like the way I look and don't need to hook up to prove I'm desirable. I already know I'm attractive to some men. Moreover, men hook up with women they're not all that attracted to..... therefore getting the hottest guys on the tour to kiss me is really no mean feet, since guys lower their standards regularly, when there are no better options.

 

I generally pick guys who I'm really attracted to; I strongly believe the attraction is mutual.

 

I just like sex. Tours are notorious for multiple hook ups. You are not busy working or going about your daily life... u are surrounded by people within your age bracket.

 

Everyone has been doing it.

[Leigh 87]

Why don't you just go out and party with the new guy you are hooking up with?

 

We keep things discrete. We want to be FWB back in Aus. People are bitchy on tour.... we want to save our drinking and going out together for back home.

 

We tend to hook up in the hotel, since I have my own room. We have a drink and hook up.

 

It works well. There are no strong romantic feelings at all, and we are quiet attracted to each other. We are both in the same mindset when it comes to relationships too: we don't even want to think about relationships until we meet someone that blows our minds and we feel that we HAVE to be with.

 

He has never had a casual thing before.

[TaraMaiden]

Jeesh. I led a really sheltered life, I guess....

I went on 2 Trans-European tours, one with a buddy, one on my own.

Came back both times a virgin and the guys outnumbered the gals....

 

I guess I didn't have phukkability then.

Or long legs.

Or blonde hair.

Or a slim enough figure.

Or condoms.

 

Much like now in fact.

 

Do you realise you've hooked up with nearly as many guys including the ones on your bus tour, as I have in my entire life?

[Leigh 87]

Jeesh. I led a really sheltered life, I guess....

I went on 2 Trans-European tours, one with a buddy, one on my own.

Came back both times a virgin and the guys outnumbered the gals....

 

I guess I didn't have phukkability then.

Or long legs.

Or blonde hair.

Or a slim enough figure.

Or condoms.

 

Much like now in fact.

 

Do you realise you've hooked up with nearly as many guys including the ones on your bus tour, as I have in my entire life?

 

 

But I really don't care.

 

I don't feel it's right, for me, to wait for the right guy, before I hook up.

 

It could take years to come across the the right guy to have a relationship with.

 

On the other hand, I truly do feel the full force of emotions involved when I have sex with a partner I love. I am loyal to my partners. Sex between a person you love is, of course, totally different to sex between two strangers.

 

Admittedly, I have hooked up far more than I normally care to. I think it has something to do with my ex leaving me. I've gone a bit crazy.

 

And they were all quiet hot. It was a really nice distraction. They also have a thing for slim blondes. They were into me physically and I was into them.

 

It was a very nice distraction from my ex.

 

While I'll continue being casual with sex until I meet the right guy for a relationship, I don't feel like hooking up as much as I have been.

 

Lol. Once every couple of months back home would be ideal for me.

 

And yes. Contiki tours can be very sexually charged.

 

There are no other slim blondes on the tour. There are no hotties. According to the guys I've talked to.

 

If the girls were better looking and not all slightly overweight, I think more hook ups would occur.

[Mack05]

I could not care less, frankly, and he deserved to be hurt by it. Although I care a lot about him and do not like to hurt him. He let me go though, so I deserve to go and enjoy great sex with hot guys, while I am still in my 20's and can attract the hottest men. Won't last forever:lmao:

 

Look at the contradictions in that line alone..I could not care less. One line later I care a lot about him...

 

Ok this won't be popular but here goes...

 

Leigh you need to remember that while they are some guys who don't really care what you did when you are single, there are some that do.

 

What some people fail to grasp is that decisions you make now can have a drastic effect on your future. Women tend to party more nowadays and when the party is over there are in their early 30's and guys aren't looking in their direction anymore. I mean who wants a wife that has been with loads of guys? Sure it's only a few now, but that is because you are in denial. Like the gambler who thinks one 5 dollar bet can't do any harm. I mean what is 5 bucks? The drinker/alocholic who has one beer. I mean what is one beer. Only a bit of fun accept its more then just fun. There are psychological reasons behind this behaviour, many times to which the person involved is ignorant too.

 

Before people accuse me of being sexist, I have behaved well my whole life. I have never slept around. Sure we all love sex but its the emotional sides of human beings that seperate us from being animals. I have broken up with girls before because they had too many casual flings. The question you have to ask yourself is is this worth it? I know some girls are very confident and sexual. Good look to them if that is they way they have choosen to live their lives. That's not for me thanks. As for you Leigh, I don't believe these actions are of a confident woman. More of a lonely woman who needs validation to make her feel good about herself. Guys (in general) aren't attracted to girls like this as a girlfriend. Just for hookups, that is the harsh reality.

 

I have lived a great life, travelled many places, drank and partied but I have always respected my self and women in general. You may end up meeting a old fashioned guy like me and eventually lose him over some meaningless fling. I mean is it really worth it?

 

If you ask me your posts reek of insecurity. I wonder do you have a real sense of who you are or what is behind these behaviours? You are trying to convince a bunch of people who never met you that you are a good person..To me it seems you really lack self belief. Too me it seems you are having these casual encounters to fill the emotional gaps in you in an unhealthy way. This trip was a great opportunity to truly learn alot about yourself. From reading between the lines I don't believe you have..

 

You want things to go better in your life? View yourself as a prize. When you truly see yourself as a prize you end up attracting the right kind of guys. Just something to think about (as unpopular as this post will be)..

Edited July 9, 2013 by Mack05

[Leigh 87]

By the way. Time really does help you move on from someone.

 

I can actually look back at old life with him and the 4 dogs and smile. I feel really happy I got to feel that kind of love.

 

Obviously I'm not in different. Yet I would not cry if I found out how he had been with other gorls. Or found the love of his life.

 

Actually. I would cry a wee bit if he fell madly in love this soon after the break up. Damn. Although I don't feel acute emotions over him, I would still care.

 

I am certainly feeling much better about the break up than I was earlier on......

 

The first couple of guys were a nice distraction. Super hot. Super into each other sort of hook ups. Just what I needed.

 

It's getting a bit ridiculous now. I have decided to stop hooking up.

 

 

............. it would take a reaaaaaaaalllly really hot guy and killer chemistry to get me to hook up again anytime soon.

 

Oh lol.

[Leigh 87]

Look at the contradictions in that line alone..I could not care less. One line later I care a lot about him...

 

Ok this won't be popular but here goes...

 

Leigh you need to remember that while they are some guys who don't really care what you did when you are single, there are some that do.

 

What some people fail to grasp is that decisions you make now can have a drastic effect on your future. Women tend to party more nowadays and when the party is over there are in their early 30's and guys aren't looking in their direction anymore. I mean who wants a wife that has been with loads of guys? Sure it's only a few now, but that is because you are in denial. Like the gambler who thinks one 5 dollar bet can't do any harm. I mean what is 5 bucks? The drinker/alocholic who has one beer. I mean what is one beer. Only a bit of fun accept its more then just fun. There are psychological reasons behind this behaviour, many times to which the person involved is ignorant too.

 

Before people accuse me of being sexist, I have behaved well my whole life. I have never slept around. Sure we all love sex but its the emotional sides of human beings that seperate us from being animals. I have broken up with girls before because they had too many casual flings. The question you have to ask yourself is is this worth it? I know some girls are very confident and sexual. Good look to them if that is they way they have choosen to live their lives. That's not for me thanks. As for you Leigh, I don't believe these actions are of a confident woman. More of a lonely woman who needs validation to make her feel good about herself. Guys (in general) aren't attracted to girls like this as a girlfriend. Just for hookups, that is the harsh reality.

 

I have lived a great life, travelled many places, drank and partied but I have always respected my self and women in general. You may end up meeting a old fashioned guy like me and eventually lose him over some meaningless fling. I mean is it really worth it?

 

If you ask me your posts reek of insecurity. I wonder do you have a real sense of who you are or what is behind these behaviours? You are trying to convince a bunch of people who never met you that you are a good person..To me it seems you really lack self belief. Too me it seems you are having these casual encounters to fill the emotional gaps in you in an unhealthy way. This trip was a great opportunity to truly learn alot about yourself. From reading between the lines I don't believe you have..

 

You want things to go better in your life? View yourself as a prize. When you truly see yourself as a prize you end up attracting the right kind of guys. Just something to think about (as unpopular as this post will be)..

 

Nah ppl on here always love to agree that I really don't like myself and that surely I can't just enjoy casual hook ups simply because I enjoy kissing hot guys.

 

Look. I honestly think I'm a lovely person. I think I'm special and I truly believe a guy will see that. I definitely think I'll attract a great guy one day.

 

I am really just hedonistic and enjoy hooking up. And there are probably other reasons driving it. For the most part though, I think your too judgmental on women who enjoy casual fun.

 

Sure, when I get back to Aus I won't be with a new guy every weekend. Yuck. Yet I will casually hook up every few months. A few times a year. Not sex with every encounter.

 

And I see nothing wrong with that. I think a woman can the most wonderful person, yet while enjoying casual encounters every now and again. Woman who do casuals can make loyal and wonderful partners.

 

Sorry but not everyone will agree with u or with me: some people see no harm in enjoying sex outside of relationships. Others do judge. Who cares lol.

 

I'll attract the right guy one day when I'm ready. I don't doubt it at all. I'm just not mentally ready for it right now.

 

While I do like myself I do not yet love myself. Hence why I am in weekly therapy back home.

 

I am quiet happy with who I am in general. Albeit, a few changes are in order. I like my base- core personality.

 

The right guy will find me one day. When I'm in the right mindset.

 

It doesn't mean I am that insecure or that I hate myself. I think I'm very attractive to SOME men who are into me. I also appeal to enough people so that I have some great friends.

 

So yeah. I'm not too worried.

 

People who disagree with sex outside of relationships won't agree with me. These people are not of my concern, so please don't turn this thread into an anti casual sex thread.

 

Back home I'll welcome any really stand out guy that I have serious chemistry with. But I won't seek it out or anything close.

 

Real life sure won't be like a contiki tour.

[Leigh 87]

I do think of myself as a prize. No one else is like me. I think the right person will be really really lucky to have me.

 

I'm not going to settle for less than something truly special, when it comes to relationships.

[Leigh 87]

I totally agree with this post. There are some deep psychological issues manifesting this type of

 

Lol.

 

Casual sex in a normal and healthy activity.

 

You do realise that plenty of successful people that are in successful relationships, have engaged in casual sex?

 

It's fun to do in my 20s. I am sure by my 30s I'll settle down.

[sweetkiwi]

 

Lol.

 

Casual sex in a normal and healthy activity.

 

You do realise that plenty of successful people that are in successful relationships, have engaged in casual sex?

 

It's fun to do in my 20s. I am sure by my 30s I'll settle down.

 

You're better off not explaining yourself to anyone. If you really don't give a fhuck, then don't give a fhuck.

[clia]

We keep things discrete. We want to be FWB back in Aus. People are bitchy on tour.... we want to save our drinking and going out together for back home.

 

No offense, but this makes no sense to me at all. There's no reason why you can't go out and party together and still be FWB and go out drinking together when you get back to Australia.

 

We tend to hook up in the hotel, since I have my own room. We have a drink and hook up.

 

This really makes it sound like he's embarrassed to be seen with you. Does he go out and party with others in the group while you sit in your hotel room and eat chocolates by yourself?

 

And yes. Contiki tours can be very sexually charged.

 

There are no other slim blondes on the tour. There are no hotties. According to the guys I've talked to.

 

If the girls were better looking and not all slightly overweight, I think more hook ups would occur.

 

Above you said that everyone was hooking up. So which is it? What you wrote above sounds so arrogant. I wouldn't be surprised if your view of yourself as the slimmest, hottest blonde on the tour is coming across to the other girls and that is part of why they don't want to hang out with you.

 

Look, it doesn't matter to me one way or the other who you hook up with or how much you are hooking up. By all means, have fun and enjoy yourself.

 

But, bear in mind that by having the kind of fun you want to have (hooking up with various guys) in such a closed setting (the tour), you are leaving a bad impression on the other people who are on the tour. You seem to have become "that girl" who is flitting from guy to guy to guy. Right or wrong, most girls don't want to hang out with or be associated with "that girl." You're obviously seeing the effects of that now in that none of the girls want to hang out with you. Rather than try to convince all of us how nice and lovely you are and how wrong they are not to see that, you might take a moment of introspection to view their perspective. They knew nothing about you other than that from moment number one of the tour you've been kissing guys left and right and hooking up. You might have been better served to show some restraint at the outset and made some girl friends, and then pursued your hook ups once people got to know you and your situation a little better.

 

But, what's done is done. You should learn from this and maybe try to be a little more low key (i.e., don't get quite so drunk) and try to befriend some of the new girls who join the group (assuming you want to befriend some girls). I think it would be a real shame for you to not be able to experience the nightlife on your trip because no one wanted to hang out with you. If you really are that nice and lovely, surely you will be able to find some people to pal around with.

[Leigh 87]

Please don't write anymore posts about how wrong you think casual sex is.

 

I will also ignore and block people who say things like I need serious help. As I already see a therapist and I quiet enjoy life in spite of my issues.

 

Keep the thread on track thanks. It's about moving on from an ex. In any manner that you see fit at the time.

[Els]

How are you enjoying your tour aside from these guys?

 

I really don't think it's a good thing that you're isolated from your group, can't go out and party with them, etc. That's supposed to be the whole POINT of contiki tours, AFAIK. If you just wanted to make out in hotel rooms and have sex, I'm sure that Aussie has more than enough bachelors who would be happy to do so.

 

I'm REALLY glad you didn't decide to give up Berlin for the Polish guy! That would have been a horrible mistake IMO.

[sweetkiwi]

Please don't write anymore posts about how wrong you think casual sex is.

 

I will also ignore and block people who say things like I need serious help. As I already see a therapist and I quiet enjoy life in spite of my issues.

 

Keep the thread on track thanks. It's about moving on from an ex. In any manner that you see fit at the time.

Moving on is great. I am glad you're having fun. You coming to Italy at all ?

[Mme. Chaucer]

I kissed 3 guys within 2 weeks. Slept with 1.

 

Well, that's not what you've told us here, but whatever.

 

 

Intimacy is a huge deal to me. I can just separate sex and emotions. I DO very much enjoy being intimate with a loving partner. I stayed very loyal during my last relationship.

 

I just don't want to wait until I find the right guy, to enjoy sex. Many people are like me.

 

So … where does kissing, "spooning all night," having someone go down on you for hours, fall between the "no big deal" sex, and the "huge deal" of intimacy?

 

Anyway, I don't care. What I do care about is what drives you to have sexual encounters among all the guys with whom you are sharing an adventure, why you are dissing the other girls and comparing them unfavorably to yourself when you do not even know them at all, and why you are boasting nonstop here right now. Also, why you care what all these people think about you when what you claim to really want out of it is "hook ups."

 

What kind of validation are you looking for? All that stuff is not about "enjoying casual sex." Neither is your weird rationalization for having secret "hook ups" in your room. Saving your partying and drinking for back home? Right.

 

Just enjoy yourself and own the consequences of your choices. In this case, they seem to be that you are isolating yourself from the possibility of having any camaraderie, getting to know other people and sharing your adventure with them, in exchange for "hook ups" that are now taking place secretly in your room.

 

I don't think it's a good trade off, but that's just me.

[Leigh 87]

Oh. I'm not that girl. Others are bringing random men back to their room. Others have made out in plain site.

 

I made out all night with ONE guy that people were aware of. Only a couple of girls knew about my prior hook up.

 

And yes chaucer. Spooning with the first guy was very intimate. I liked him. I am bummed that I messed up with him..

 

And as for the guy being embarrassed..... he doesn't drink or party with the others really. Look, I don't care if you pick at me for sounding conceited but I am one of the best looking girls on tour and my fashion sense is pretty darn cool. He has absolutely no reason to be embarrassed. He acts like feels lucky to hook up with me, a girl he is really attracted to.

 

And look- stop picking. I find the other girls bitchy and not particularly open and kind to everyone in the same way I am. They sit around and talk badly about others.

 

I will always find it incredibly sad when girls waste their energy on bitching and gossiping. These girls and some guys on tour do sit around and say nasty things. For instance, my facebook name is meeleigh, opposed to my first and last name. I don't want my real name on fb.

 

Apparently, they sat around and talked about how stupid my fb name was. In a mean spirated manner. My fck buddy also gets talked about. He caught one guy in the act, who was talking about him. Just silly crap that only a mean spirated person would find reason to talk to others about.

 

Look. I don't think people who talk badly of others are truly lovely people.

 

You can criticize me all u like regarding my low opinion of some of my tour group. I simply don't think they're very nice people and I believe I am a very lovely woman.

 

And I am just being honest in my opinion about finding myself one of the most attractive in the group. I am not being mean by comparing my appearance favorably when compared to their appearances. It's just my opinion. I'm being honest.

 

I know not everyone will find me attractive. Many don't. However, a fair few guys tend to like my 120 lbs 5' 5 and very curvy figure, more so than most of the other girls on tour. I am also friendly. Hence why guys initially hooked up with me.

 

I am NOT saying I am the best, most hottest thing out there. I am just a girl in my mid 20's, that has what a lot of men consider to be a nice body.

 

I am not doing anything to isolate myself. I just didn't have any people I had really clicked with and therefore I was not ready to mingle with everyone and go party with them, as they had already formed tight knit groups. Before I got a chance to get to know them.

 

Now things are getting better. I really like a new girl on the tour. A doctor. We hung out today. She's traveling with her girlfriend. I can tell that I'll be able to go out and drink with them. And then there's a few people from the main group that I can talk to, albeit not at length with. They have their close friends.