UpDate. Fly to Berlin in A Few Hours. Hooked With Another Guy.

[Leigh 87]

We broke up almost 2 months ago.

 

I got with someone new. Best sex of my life.

 

He found out. He lost it. He is genuinely heart broken. He still felt like we were together. That I was just working my sh*te out.

 

We WERE No Contact until, after he incessantly contacting me, I crumbled and answered his call. He knew instantly that I had hooked up with someone new.

 

I am serious: he has not even thought about it yet. He has not gone out. He did not think either of us should have been ready to "go there" yet, with other people. In his mind I did something terrible.

 

I could not care less, frankly, and he deserved to be hurt by it. Although I care a lot about him and do not like to hurt him. He let me go though, so I deserve to go and enjoy great sex with hot guys, while I am still in my 20's and can attract the hottest men. Won't last forever:lmao:

 

I am okay now. I don't cry about him anymore. I do not wake up or go to sleep unhappy. I am happier now than when I was with him, as I am with friends literally every day, and I have a much fuller life.

 

So, I have been with another guy. My first ever one night stand. It was right, it was amazing, but don't worry. This is not a downward spiral. I have been living well, going out every night with friends, yet not drinking. I mentioned wanting casual sex initially, but in the end I just forgot about it. I definitely was not looking for this hot one night stand.

 

It blew my mind. We were crazily attracted to each other. He has a thing for slim blondes. Anyways. I was so much more attracted to him upon first sighting of him, than I was with my ex.

 

As awful as it sounds, meeting a guy who I Had such hot chemistry with that we LITERALLY wanted to rip each others clothes off? I WANT better for myself than what I had with my ex. Only after TIME with my ex, after a week or two with him, did I feel that " I want to rip your clothes off" chemistry.

 

I am more a relationship girl, but it helped to be with a guy who was so much better in bed than my ex, technically speaking, and who showed me how much I CAN enjoy sex and men WITHOUT my ex. It just confirmed that I am just great without him. Albeit, I AM NOT indifferent. Just accepting of the break up.

 

.........................................................

 

After the break up,

 

he came over to my house to hug me in bed at night right up until No Contact. He was not moving on, and neither was I. Although I was used to going days without seeing him. I never saw my dogs. I was okay with life without him. I did not wake up or go to sleep upset or thinking about him.

 

After he found out about the hook up? He said he could not be with me for a long time. I literally laughed out loud. He left? OF COURSE he did not want to be with me? WTF.

 

He said he loved me enough to marry me and have a life with me. That he had been around ENOUGH women to KNOW what the real deal is.

 

Whatever. He left. Now he cannot handle the consequences? That I Will move on and enjoy sex with other men?

 

............................................................

 

I instigated No Contact after many failed attempts. It was only after weeks of him reaching out that I let in. I shouldn't have. It only hurt him a lot.

 

Anyways. He texted me goodbye - I fly off to Berlin in a few hours.

 

I am not upset at all over the break up and I was madly in love with my ex - just do people on here KNOW that it does get better.

 

It really gets better. You miss them, but you do not long to be WITH them.

 

Good luck to you all.

[athousandquestions]

THIS IS LITERALLY exactly what happened to me!

 

As soon as I hooked up with someone else, he lost his mind! Like pal you left me! You dumped me! Was I supposed to go home and knit until you sorted your self out and came back? NO thank you!

 

Have fun in Berlin

[CaliBabe]

Go. Girl. Good for you!

[Leigh 87]

It's ridiculous. I told him that THIS is the main reason why I DONT want to be his friend.

 

I TOLD him that once we start moving on, and hooking up with new people, that we are not indifferent. It would majorly suck, hearing when 'it' happened.

 

To him, it felt almost as painful as when we were still together. I am baffled as to why he was so angry. He left. He didn't love me enough to ensure that no one else could have me.

 

Too bad for him, really.

 

I still love him, on some level. He still has feelings for me too. This is just natural after a long term relationship.

 

I wish him well. I just don't want him in my life. We were extremely close. We had a life together. It would be torture to see him CHOOSING to live his life without me.

 

This is his fault for trying to break no contact. This is exactly what happens to people when they break up, yet remain in contact. They inevitably find out that their ex has been with someone else.

[Leigh 87]

Haha, this also happened to my friend!

 

He left her. She hooked up with another guy. He said that he would have asked for her back, but not after she had been with another dude. He changed his mind.

 

For some unbeknownst reason, idiot ex seemed to believe that we were still sort of together. That he was waiting for me to sort my shi t out. He had not wanted the break up to be final.

 

I know he really liked me, as a person, but it is laughable. He is full of crap. HE genuinely felt that way. However, he is just not self aware..... obviously, most guys only hang onto their exes because they were once very close to them. It's hard for them to let go. There is no one else that they fancy, so they cling onto hope with you.

[Suave]

This is why it is sometimes easier to be the dumpee. You basically get a free pass to go out and do your business - after all, you're the one who is hurting the most. If the dumper does the same, they are the ones who look bad.

[Chi townD]

A little confused. Why are you posting about this? I don't mean to sound disrespectful, I just trying to understand.

 

Is it because there's a little pang of guilt? Because, even though he left YOU, you still love him on some level and if it's over then it's over, but you still don't want to hurt him?

 

Or

 

You're glad that he's hurt and on some level you feel guilty about feeling this way?

 

I'm not trying to be d*ckhead, I just don't understand.

[starlet86]

I think she posted to let us all know, she's been were we are and did move on.

[hotpotato]

I want to go to Berlin. Im so jelly.

 

Im convinced dumpers want you to stay home and mope around. You are supposed to be mopey and sad, not havin sex!

[Leigh 87]

Womp womppppp. When people move on they don't come back to some place like this bragging about how some guy banged them, and how their ex got upset about it.

 

Guess you're looking for some attention. Congrats on the revenge.

 

Never said I had moved on entirely from him.

 

I just really enjoyed being intimate with someone else other than the man I once wanted to marry and I couldn't imagine life without.

 

It is a big thing for me to have been able to let another man touch me. It's a food sign that I was able to.

 

No need to be negative, it's rather disgusting when people post about something that they're happy about, and others have to say something negative.

[hotpotato]

How was Berlin?

[Leigh 87]

I'm in Stockholm right now. I've bussed through Copenhagen and Norway too.

 

My ex is the furthest thing from my mind really. There has actually been drama between me and other dudes on the tour. ....... not fun.

 

I kissed/cuddled with this hot guy in finance, from my tour the frist night we met. We had amazing sexual chemistry. Wonderful night together.

 

I'm an idiot for doing the following. .... he made us both promise to each other that we woukd just hook up with each other during the tour. He didn't want us hooking up with other people within the tour, as we were really feeling each other, sexually speaking. Outside the tpur we were free to do as we wished with other people.

 

Any ways. I stupidy broke my promise to him the very next day by making out with and danncing all night with another guy. In front of the guy from night one. He even pulled my aside and told me not to. That je would be a little upset.

 

I wish I never did it....... I had a blast dancing and making out all night, but guy 1 is the guy who I truly liked.

 

So yeah. Guy one would not say a word to me after that. I don't blame him. I would have been hurt too had he gone and kissed another girl in front of me.

 

I regret what I did and how I went about some things. Yet, I am a truly nice person who did a bad thing.

 

Yesterday I tried approaching guy one for the first time since that night. I had bought his favorite German chocolate he pointed out to me that he loved. Just a cheap thing lol not some expensive Swiss chocolates.

 

I just wanted to apologise and let him know that I am not proud of what I did, and I know I did something really trashy.

 

I hate not talking to each other. I want to at least be amiable.

 

......................

 

Well, it went terribly. He would not stop and talk to me long enough for me to get a word in. He said ' just... don't'

 

Oh wells. I've been in bed all of today, eating all the chocolate that was intended for him.

 

This sucks.

 

.....................

 

I am honestly such a friendly and kind person in general. Where as people from my tour are very bitchy and nasty.

 

Seriously. I know I did a really shiiiiiity thing. But man, boy am I a nice person in general. I feel awful when I do the wrong thing.

 

Unlike everyone else in the tour, I like to talk to anyone. I let anyone in, if they are on the outside and have no one to hang around.

 

I became an outsider due to that guy. I badly want to party with people and experience the nightlife here, but I literally have no one willing to let me hang out with them.

 

It's turned into a sightseeing tour exclusively for me, as I desperately wanted to experience the nightlife and join in the room parties, but people won't welcome me.

 

In Aus I make friends easily and people love to party with me. Here? Well, I blew my chances of that happening in the beginning.

 

 

 

 

 

Any ways. I came here to vent. Do not give me nasty feedback please. I know I did a bad thing. I don't agree that I shouldn't get another chance to be included with people though.

[Leigh 87]

I'll be discarding negative posts.

 

I am friendly to everyone. I believe people should include me and try to enable me to be a friendly member of the group.

 

No one anyone says here will convince me that they are doing the right thing by not having anything to do with me.

 

I don't find most of them particularly inspiring or remarkable. I consider myself interesting and fun to be around. No one is open to seeing it though.

 

So yeah. Sadly, I will not be partying around the world. Although I did in Copenhagen. It was awesome.

 

I jumped in a fountain and danced all night.

 

Oh wells. I am still really enjoying myself.

 

By the way. Guy 1 knows that I was in a long relationship and that I would never cheat. He also knows that I got a very high entry score into college. He even acknowledged that I was an intelligent girl.

 

I am not loud or boisterous either. I sad next to guy one on the bus the next day, after our sleep over. I remained quiet yet responded positively to anything he said. He mentioned he liked more introverted girls. His exes were introverts.

 

My point? He knows very well that I am not typically a loud, trashy party animal who has no brains and needs to hook up with men, due to lacking substance in my life.

 

 

 

...............

 

Anyways. I keep to myself now. I stick to my 5 star room and relax. It's lovely.

 

It's just different to what I envisioned. I love to party and be social with people. I thought I'd be going out and having amazing nights.

 

Great trip. Just no partying lol.

[nerd]

Why not experience the nightlife on your own?

[Leigh 87]

I was thinking of it.... it's easier if u have at least one person to talk to though. Opposed to just walking into a club alone and hoping to meet people.

 

Lol. I meet people easily enough but I am not sure if I literally want to head out alone.

[Leigh 87]

It's all good. I'll save money and calories by staying in my hotels every night.

 

I'll explore the cities. Enjoy the long bus trips through each country.

 

 

I'll party back in Aus with my mates who love me.

[ASG]

You keep saying how nice you are and yet the first thing you did was act like a dick.

I understand wanting to have fun, but you made a promise AND the guy ASKED you not to do it. You didn't care and now you're suffering the consequences...

 

What did you think was going to happen? These people don't know you, you behave like a dick, so it stands to reason that they won't want to know you better. I wouldn't.

 

So now just make the best of it. Go out on your own. Explore. Have fun. But know that the fact you are now isolated is not on anyone else but you.

[Leigh 87]

I am a very nice person in general. I just did a crappy thing. I truly regret it.

 

Why not talk to me though? Doing a bad thing doesn't mean I am not fun or interesting to spend time with.

 

I honestly think if I had my time over again, knowing what I know now, that most of these people would actually love talking to me.

 

In fact, I don't really find a lot of the girls on tour to be that remarkable to talk to. They are not friendly or open like I am.

 

The reason I am a nicer person than they are? I will talk to everyone. Even if they have a bad reputation and the rest of the group ignores them, I would happily talk to them and spend time with them.

 

There is little use meeting them tonight and trying to find nice people to hang around with. The rest of the group will snap them up and probably tell them to stay clear of me.

 

 

I never freeze people out unless that truly have a terrible character and have little empty for others.

 

I am very altruistic despite being on a student budget. My parents sent me overseas. I give most of my loose change to charity on a daily basis. I enjoy volunteering with vision Australia where I walk with the vision impaired.

 

I tell no one this in my real life. I just do it because I feel like it. I am trying to give you all the truth about my character. I am studying at college to be a social worker too.

 

My dream is to shelter abandoned and starving dogs.

 

I gladly comfort people I don't even know if they are crying or upset.

 

I want to get along with everyone. When they don't want that, I at least want to be civil.

 

I talk to and include everyone.

 

..........

 

 

 

 

I'll give u an example of what I consider to be a lacklustre person who is not bursting with kindness and generosity...

A young girl I had to share a room with had her bed near the only power outlet in our dorm. We stayed in hostels for in Norway. In 5 star hotels now.

 

I really needed to use her power outlet. We were rushing to get ready in time for dinner and I wanted to straighten my fringe. It takes literally 2 minutes.

 

The girl was annoyed that I needed to briefly use her power outlet. When asked, she said ' if u really have to'

 

....................

 

I was brought up by parents who taught me to be easygoing and friendly. If someone needs to borrow something off me or ask to use the power outlet that is by my bed? No bloody worries. I'll smile and say sure.

 

I just nicer towards people than the rest of my tour group is. I really am.

 

I recognise when I do ****ttty things. Me losing the on going fling with the guy I liked is hard enough. He was really really looking forward to it as he thought I could teach him a few things. We very much liked each others company. He had not done a few sexual things I had done, hence his statement about him thinking that I would be a lot of fun in bed.

 

I think it's a bit nasty for everyone to assume that I am not worth getting to know.

 

Mostly, people travelled together coming into the trip. They travelled with their good friends, partners or siblings. The solo Travellers bonded very fast from the first night and days of the tour.

 

I mean, in Copenhagen on day 1 of the tour, I partied and danced all night with 2 girls who were a few years younger than me. And a few guys on tour. It was a great night. We danced like crazy and the hot guy from the tour was really attracted to me and seemed pretty thrilled to have me to make out with the entire night.

 

The thing is. Those 2 girls are good friends. They travelled together. They were happy to spend time with me the next day but they don't want an older women than them following them around because she has no other friends. They want to stick to themselves and party with new people who can hold their own in the tour group.

 

So I have not partied since Copenhagen. I am not in Stockholm over a week later.

 

There are ten new people arriving today for tbe tour. Ten also leave.

[Leigh 87]

You keep saying how nice you are and yet the first thing you did was act like a dick.

I understand wanting to have fun, but you made a promise AND the guy ASKED you not to do it. You didn't care and now you're suffering the consequences...

 

What did you think was going to happen? These people don't know you, you behave like a dick, so it stands to reason that they won't want to know you better. I wouldn't.

 

So now just make the best of it. Go out on your own. Explore. Have fun. But know that the fact you are now isolated is not on anyone else but you.

 

 

 

So, without knowing a person, you would assume they weren't worth talking to because tbey did a bad thing?

 

When I talk to people they just have very basic conversation and opt not to take things further.

 

I know I'm not boring or u remarkable to talk to, as I have lived overseas and I have travelled from a young age: I am friends with a diverse group of people. From engineers and human resource execs, to blue collar workers who act entirely different yet are very skilled people in their own areas.

 

I am not a dull person to get to know. I am great fun to party with.

 

They have frozen me out. They don't believe I am worth getting to know.

 

It sucks that I can't enjoy the nightlife but at the end of the day, I have a very deep sense of liking who I am. I think I'm a lovely woman who is full of kindness.

 

Where as most people on tour bitch about others. I am positive and prefer to be nice to everyone.

 

I don't say bad things about others. If I have nothing nice to say I don't say anything at all.

 

I'm happy here but it is just drastically different to the incessant partying I tbought I'd do with people.

[ASG]

You harp on and on about how you're a nice person... You sound just like the "nice guys" that complain they never get laid. Mostly because they're not so nice.

 

You made yourself not worth getting to know. If I don't know someone and the FIRST thing they do is a dick move, then I pass on getting to know them.

 

And even if you are nice, it doesn't mean people will like you.

 

10 new people are joining. you may have a chance to make some friends.

[Mme. Chaucer]

You know, Leigh, when you start talking about what a nice, kind, friendly, etc. person that you are while describing completely out of control behavior, you're representing yourself as … not an honest person.

 

Stop telling us nonstop about the picture you're painting of yourself. Tell us what you're doing. Let your actions speak for themselves.

 

You are free to do whatever you want to do. It does sound like you behaved in a ridiculous manner and now people think you're a loose cannon, attention sponge and negative drama igniter.

 

Do you want to take a look at how the way you CHOOSE to behave actually represents WHO YOU ACTUALLY ARE? That IS the important thing. Not how you constantly assure us and yourself that you are such a nice, kind, friendly, caring, altruistic, etc. person. And so much more so than other girls.

 

I'm not saying that you're not. And behaving like a world class train wreck doesn't make you not nice, etc. But it sure would make you unlikeable to be around in real life. I am "nice" and "remarkable" and I would steer clear, myself. Especially on a tour where proximity with other people is unavoidable. A person who acts like you did would really make it unpleasant for others who were not into such stuff.

[ASG]

So, without knowing a person, you would assume they weren't worth talking to because tbey did a bad thing?

 

When I talk to people they just have very basic conversation and opt not to take things further.

 

I know I'm not boring or u remarkable to talk to, as I have lived overseas and I have travelled from a young age: I am friends with a diverse group of people. From engineers and human resource execs, to blue collar workers who act entirely different yet are very skilled people in their own areas.

 

I am not a dull person to get to know. I am great fun to party with.

 

They have frozen me out. They don't believe I am worth getting to know.

 

It sucks that I can't enjoy the nightlife but at the end of the day, I have a very deep sense of liking who I am. I think I'm a lovely woman who is full of kindness.

 

Where as most people on tour bitch about others. I am positive and prefer to be nice to everyone.

 

I don't say bad things about others. If I have nothing nice to say I don't say anything at all.

 

I'm happy here but it is just drastically different to the incessant partying I tbought I'd do with people.

 

Being traveled and/or educated doesn't make you likeable. It might for some, but it might not for others

 

And I'm gonna be really honest here. I don't know you, I only know about you what I've read here on LS. But I don't think I'd like you very much. You repeat yourself over and over again, to hammer down whatever point you're trying to make. you keep singing your own praises. And the multiple posts you make, one after the other remind of people who can't let a conversation die and need to get another thought in.

 

Now, that might be ok with some people. But for *ME*, it's just annoying.

 

I am also a somewhat nice person, well traveled, educated, blah blah blah. But I don't make friends with everyone i meet. Not even close! Don't blame other people for not liking you. It's not their fault. It's not yours either! It's who you are and it's a very good thing that you are happy with who you are.

 

 

And to answer you first question: yes, if I don't know you at all and the first thing you do is a dick thing, I won't want to know you. First impressions count a lot!

[Chi townD]

Sounds like you're on a Busabout Tour.

 

Okay, well.... it sounds like your looking for someone to fill the void from your last relationship. I'm not talking about getting a new boyfriend and being exclusive. Just the warmth and security of human contact from someone else and the validation of being wanted. And I also get the feeling that you're not doing this for sexual gratification; rather than you're doing it for solace. And, unfortunately, you went about it the wrong way.

 

Okay, so you screwed up. Life goes on. You tried to talk to the dude, but he's writing the incident off. Oh well! You tried. Lessons learned.

 

But that's not an excuse for you to hole yourself up in the hotel and eat chocolates. I mean, you're in some of the most beautiful places in Europe!!! Go see it! Seize this opportunity! Go off the beaten path! DO some shopping! Eat some incredible food! Take some amazing pictures!Make some good memories that you'll always carry with you!

 

Don't worry about guys right now. You said it yourself. You're not entirely over your Ex. So, don't worry about being with a guy right now to prove to yourself that you are still wanted and desired by men. You've already done that....Enjoy being by yourself. You can party it up without the company of a man and still have an incredible evening out.

Edited July 7, 2013 by Chi townD

[Leigh 87]

I genuinely believe I'm a very nice person. That's my truth.

 

I realize that I acted way off. I am self aware enough to look back and determine that my actions were in bad taste. I can see everything I did that I never wish to repeat.

 

Lesson is definitely leant.

 

It is just so different to what I am familiar with- normally, I fit in very well in big groups.

 

I guess I acted out and now I have no second chance to prove myself.

 

Some people do talk to me and walk around with me. But it is me who seeks them out and makes the effort to want to walk with them. They already have their close friends.

In regards to casual sex. I am not looking to have sex again for a long time since that fling before my trip. However, I enjoy kissing and dancing with guys if I really feel it with them.

I would rather not hook up if I am not strongly drawn to the guy lol. I hook up because I'm turned on and enjoy the guys company. I don't hook up for the same of hooking up.

 

Thats where I am sexually speaking. Other people on tour have kissed. There is one couple out of it too.

[Leigh 87]

Thanks Chi town. I'm just going to hold my head up high, smile and enjoy exploring, albeit even if it's alone.

 

It's just very different to how I imagined things. I smile a lot and am very friendly. I don't normally have this trouble making friends in my adult life.

 

Oh well though. And I am not entirely sure why I did what I did. I'm not indifferent to my ex but he is well out of my mind. I expect him to have hooked up with others and possibly even like a new girl. It is not a terrible fact to me anymore.

 

I am more concerned with these other guys than my ex to be honest. I love being sexual with men whom I'm really into sexualy. That is why I hooked up mostly. I just enjoy it.

 

And lol. Yes, Copenhagen is my favorite city ever. Driving days at a time through Norway is also something I'll never forget. Sweden was also very nice to drive through. I explore Stockholm tomorrow.

 

I feel bad about isolating myself but, ultimately, I will not let it taint my trip anymore than it already has.

 

I will now enjoy the traveling to the fullest. It will just be party free and different to how I had imagined it.