Tk123 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 Hey there! Recently I've been going out with this girl once a week, just as friends. I like the friendship she and I have, and I always have a great time being around her. Majority of the nights after we hang, I walk her to her door and get a goodbye hug. I wanted to take a step further, but I have no idea how to make the move! I've always been a shy sort of guy and sometimes don't have the balls to take the risk. Anyways, tonight me and her are going to a movie. It's not a romantic movie or anything, just a family sort of oriented movie. I want to make some sort of move tonight but I don't even know how I'd go about doing this. How do I get her to know I want to take it a step further or want more? I've read other threads and things online about putting an arm around her or something like that during the movie, but what are the signs that I'll know she'll like it or if I'm intruding her space? Ultimately I want to end the night with a goodbye kiss, but I don't know if just going for it is the best way to go about it. I haven't been in many relationships in my lifetime but have had quite a few close friends that are women, so I'm sort of weak in the relationship department! I appreciate the help and hope to hear from you! Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 You don't necessarily have to put your arm around her in the movies, sometimes it can be a bit constrictive, maybe put your arm on the arm rest between and see where she puts her hand, maybe reach out and try to hold her hand a little bit. If she doesn't put her hands near yours, then walk her to the door as normal, go in for the hug, pull only SLIGHTLY back and look into her eyes, it'll def give off "kiss!" vibes if you're in her personal space, looking into her eyes. Gauge her reaction to that, see if she pulls back or if she looks back and looks at your lips. If so, proceed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tk123 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) You don't necessarily have to put your arm around her in the movies, sometimes it can be a bit constrictive, maybe put your arm on the arm rest between and see where she puts her hand, maybe reach out and try to hold her hand a little bit. If she doesn't put her hands near yours, then walk her to the door as normal, go in for the hug, pull only SLIGHTLY back and look into her eyes, it'll def give off "kiss!" vibes if you're in her personal space, looking into her eyes. Gauge her reaction to that, see if she pulls back or if she looks back and looks at your lips. If so, proceed! Damn I wish I read this before I left! I'm definitely going to give this a try next time we hang. I just got back from our little movie date and I guess things went alright. Throughout the movie we would crack jokes at each other, pushing and shoving at each other playfully in our seats. The night ended as usual however, with a goodbye hug. I wanted to take it a step further but failed again :/ Off-topic: Do I text her and tell her I had a good time? Edited June 27, 2013 by Tk123 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Damn I wish I read this before I left! I'm definitely going to give this a try next time we hang. I just got back from our little movie date and I guess things went alright. Throughout the movie we would crack jokes at each other, pushing and shoving at each other playfully in our seats. The night ended as usual however, with a goodbye hug. I wanted to take it a step further but failed again :/ Off-topic: Do I text her and tell her I had a good time? You're going to wind up in the friend zone if you don't start showing signs that you're interested in her. You're not making romantic moves, you're not following up saying you've had a good time? Ever? All you're giving off are platonic vibes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Damn I wish I read this before I left! I'm definitely going to give this a try next time we hang. I just got back from our little movie date and I guess things went alright. Throughout the movie we would crack jokes at each other, pushing and shoving at each other playfully in our seats. The night ended as usual however, with a goodbye hug. I wanted to take it a step further but failed again :/ Off-topic: Do I text her and tell her I had a good time? If she is waiting for you to make a move and you dont, obviously like katzee said you are giving off friend vibes.......one thing i do know is......if a woman truly doesnt want you in her personal space she will let you know....either obviously by maintaining a physical distance from you or by telling you...a simple no.......take the risk....or be her friend.......thats your choice..i wish you much luck and hope it works out for you....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tk123 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 So if I take the risk and she doesn't want it, doesn't that effect our friendship or make it slightly awkward? Link to post Share on other sites
KillerFish Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Yes to both, the friendship part could be saved but I doubt it, you will always have feelings for her and she will know it.. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 So if I take the risk and she doesn't want it, doesn't that effect our friendship or make it slightly awkward? Love's always a risk. But it's one you gotta take if you want to potentially start to date someone. And yes it will probably be awkward for a little bit, especially if you continue to have feelings and those feelings grow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 I've read other threads and things online about putting an arm around her or something like that during the movie, but what are the signs that I'll know she'll like it or if I'm intruding her space? Finding out that she doesn't want your arm around you when you're in the movie and there's still an hour to go is going to be awkward! So figure it out before then. Other than greeting/parting hugs and pushing/shoving each other playfully which could easily be things that people who are just friends do, is there any other physical contact? What happens when you're talking in the bar/museum/wherever and you touch her arm? Or when you're walking side by side (anywhere) and you gently put your hand on her back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tk123 Posted July 6, 2013 Author Share Posted July 6, 2013 We are going to hang out again tomorrow. I don't want to F this up and am going to try the pulling slightly back to look at her when we hug. Is there anything else I should try? Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Putting the arm around her is lame and awkward. Plus there's a good chance your arm will fall asleep or she'll feel uncomfortable with it digging in her back. Just butter her up over dinner first with lots of flirting and eye contact, then during the movie occasionally lean in close and whisper a witty comment in her ear. Don't move your head back much during her reply. She how she responds to you being that close. If she seems comfortable with it, then she's ready for a kiss as soon as the movie's over and everyone is out of the theater. Whatever you do don't be nervous and give off a confident energy. Whatever happens happens my friend, it doesn't matter whether you're successful or not. Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Grab a titty. Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 We are going to hang out again tomorrow. I don't want to F this up and am going to try the pulling slightly back to look at her when we hug. Is there anything else I should try? Visualize success. Close your eyes and imagine yourself kissing her. Imagine yourself making an opportunity for the kiss and stop waiting for that perfect moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Archgirl Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Don't plan to make a move. That will just make it forced and awkward. The right moment will present itself and you will just know. If it doesn't, lay some groundwork for a slow progression by giving her an end of date hug and kiss on the cheek. Next time step it up, hold her for longer, look in her eyes and kiss her softly on the lips. Sometime slow build up is your best friend. Its less risk, creates anticipation and is less pressure. Oh yeah. And don't grab her titty. There is a reason Castle is still single Link to post Share on other sites
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