ssd360 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 So I went to coffee with this Amazing girl yesterday she said she only had an hour to sit and chat and meet. Well that hour turned into two and she was like WOW I had so much fun and she even insisted on meeting again for dinner. So i text her today and we chat back and forth and she says I want to clarify I don't Date but we can be friends?? What does that even mean it has never happened to me before? Any help on this weird situation and awkward I mean yeah i wear my hear on my sleeve and let everyone know how i feel and think but like i don't understand I have had the worst luck with women lately....
BluEyeL Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I think it means that she doesn't want to have sex and/or a romantic relationship with you, but likes you as a person. In other words, friendzone?
Author ssd360 Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 I think it means that she doesn't want to have sex and/or a romantic relationship with you, but likes you as a person. In other words, friendzone? Wow Ok this has happened honestly I can say in the last year every time i have met a girl. The last 10 dates have all been friends zone literally?? Do i need to be a as****le? Starting to tick me off now..
BluEyeL Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Wow Ok this has happened honestly I can say in the last year every time i have met a girl. The last 10 dates have all been friends zone literally?? Do i need to be a as****le? Starting to tick me off now.. No, you don't have to be an ******* at all. You just need to find the right match for you, one who clicks with you. Just don't give up. 2
atlg8r Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 How old are you guys? Do her parents not allow her to date or something?
pcplod Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 (edited) Wow Ok this has happened honestly I can say in the last year every time i have met a girl. The last 10 dates have all been friends zone literally?? Do i need to be a as****le? Starting to tick me off now.. I have always been baffled, and will continue to be, until I tip-toe into my grave, every time a man who experiences a negative experience with a woman asks whether he should just be a kunt instead. If I had a penny for every time I've read it, I could be comfortably retired already. Of the almost countless reasons and permutations as to why they may be experiencing this sort of difficulty, instead of trying to figure it out, the response seems to be, "Should I be an absolute bastard?" (like all the successful men). WHY?! Do you honestly think that is even remotely a solution? Do you really think that sort of ridiculous $h1t is ever successful? The only take I have on women who rarely make the mistake of hitching up with Mr Azzole is that they have made a really bad mistake in interpreting their behaviour, rather than actually seeking it out as a positive factor, or that they have such low self-esteem and self-worth issues that they don't think they can do any better or deserve any better. Even the majority of women like that get their $h1t together eventually and off-load the useless piece of $h1t they've lumbered themselves with, with ne'er a backwards glance. It's either that or plunging a knife between his shoulder-blades. So the rather obvious answer to your question is "No, No, No". Petty revenge for some sort of erroneously perceived slight, especially when not directed at the person who has bent your teeny, fragile ego out of shape, but instead the next woman along, is as about as bad and unforgivable as any person's behaviour can get. Stick to Plan A, however bad that may be. Edited June 26, 2013 by pcplod 10
Phantom888 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 If you keep getting friendzoned, you are not approaching the right matches for you. The right girl would jump at the opportunity to be with you, and being friends would not even come to mind. You have to explore different types of women, not just the ones that are physically attractive. 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 (edited) Wow Ok this has happened honestly I can say in the last year every time i have met a girl. The last 10 dates have all been friends zone literally?? Do i need to be a as****le? Starting to tick me off now.. getting friendzoned.....i know its tuff. You have to remember you are in competitiion with other people. Alot of times with women if they have say 3 dates in 5 days with different men they will say this person came out #1 and Im only going to date that person. The way she said it makes me believe this one is different.... My hunch tells me that: (1) she just got out of a LTR and you are either the first guy she has met with, or right now she isnt interested in bf/gf but just more casual dating stuff. (2) Her style is more along the lines of not dating but more of buddies getting together along the lines of friends first and then see what develops after getting to know one another. (3) she is new in town and doesnt want to get in a relationship now but is more interested in casual dating and what amounts to social networking through dating sites. why are the other women friendzoning you??? (1) what have you done on your dates? ----is it just meeting at the coffee shop and you talk for an hr or two. some women arent to keen on meeting at a coffee place because it says this is your level of interest in me. (2) what has the pattern been in courting them prior to meeting? ---do you do a few back/forth emails, then call and set up the date within a week or are you talking to them by email/phone/text for 4-6 weeks before you meet face to face? (3) are you trying to date out of your league? f ----you need to stay within your league in dating. Some women will want to date a less attraive man because of a trade off in intelligence or money or she is insecure or has been burned by cheaters so if she is with a less attractive man she knows she can trust him alot more. (4) what is your style of conversation on the dates? ---If you are always talking about youself throughout the date or you are coming off as being a know it all/high ego can be a big turnoff. Is there something off in your dress? Is it bad clothes? Do you not brush your teeth? no deodorant? If your job is heavy lifting/high sweat you need to take a shower before the date. Edited June 26, 2013 by Ami1uwant
Keenly Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Just go with it dude. Seriously. She's trying to feel you out. If you bail now her suspicions will be confirmed. Just hang out with her for a while and keep hanging out with her. I'm pretty sure she wants to get to know you and see how you are before she tries to move forward, as I think she has been hurt in the past and does not want to move into anything too fast.
grkBoy Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 So I went to coffee with this Amazing girl yesterday she said she only had an hour to sit and chat and meet. Well that hour turned into two and she was like WOW I had so much fun and she even insisted on meeting again for dinner. So i text her today and we chat back and forth and she says I want to clarify I don't Date but we can be friends?? What does that even mean it has never happened to me before? Any help on this weird situation and awkward I mean yeah i wear my hear on my sleeve and let everyone know how i feel and think but like i don't understand I have had the worst luck with women lately.... Did you pay? Did she offer to pay for her coffee? If you paid, she never offered, and gladly accepted your paying...then in many respects you two went on a date. I only bring this up mainly because for someone who says "I don't date", she has a funny way of showing it. Frankly, I'd just be honest if you really wanted to date her. I'd politely tell her you wanted to take things into dating, and respectfully cut ties. If she wants explanations, just say you find her attractive, and can't fathom tossing all that out of you to be "just friends". Sometimes you have to be blunt and even come off as selfish to gain that masculinity you want women to see in you. Granted 99.9% of these women will simply claim "your loss" and move on, but they'll know you won't accept the meager crumbs from her table while some other guy will easily get to date her. You won't be her "good buddy" and later "crying blanket" when she fails with other guys. I think if you're coming off as shy, timid, and lack showing confidence and assertiveness, women will get bored and FZ you. However, some women will just not be into you no matter what. It happens and it's no one's fault. Others will reject you mainly because they can't handle an actual 'good man' and will be the ones later complaining "where are all the good men???" Let those women be, and see it as "bullet dodged". My only advice is to not pressure yourself when it comes to dating, love, relationships, etc. Go out and find how you can make yourself happy in life on your own, without anyone. When you're happy with yourself, your life, etc...it shows, and women suddenly come calling. In the long run, women not only want to find attraction and compatibility, but they want to see that the man really does want HER...not just any available attractive female. I've noticed many women will reject men who come off as hungry or desperate for any female...that he's only coming on to her because she's good looking and single. Nothing more. 2
irc333 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 So I went to coffee with this Amazing girl yesterday she said she only had an hour to sit and chat and meet. Well that hour turned into two and she was like WOW I had so much fun and she even insisted on meeting again for dinner. So i text her today and we chat back and forth and she says I want to clarify I don't Date but we can be friends?? What does that even mean it has never happened to me before? Any help on this weird situation and awkward I mean yeah i wear my hear on my sleeve and let everyone know how i feel and think but like i don't understand I have had the worst luck with women lately.... Oh, you must be new to the whole "Friendzone" experience. Welcome aboard!
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 First off, I wouldn't go on a date-like thing and tell a guy that. Sounds strange. However(!!)... I have told many men I don't 'date'... have said it here too. What I don't do is the typical dating treadmill... Near stranger Guy thinks I'm cute, asks me out, tries to suck face on the first date, followed quickly by sexy talk and pressure to f*ck usually within a couple of weeks... YAWN. So, yea. I've told lots of guys that I don't 'date'. Mostly to avoid the typical dating treadmill lots of guys seem to want to put me on.
fishtaco Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 When women say, I don't date, they mean I don't date you. It's cool. Happens to the best of us. Dating is a number game. It's about the quantity. The more women you meet, the more chances you'll get. It's not about being an *******, it's about going for what you want, and accepting no substitutions. ******* is someone that throws tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants. So if you're not getting what you want, which as a man will happen more often than not, be polite, and end it, look for it elsewhere. Then you're not an *******. Dating is a game. If you get all serious way too soon, i.e. letting things like this get to you, then you're playing the game wrong.
BeholdtheMan Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 So I went to coffee with this Amazing girl yesterday she said she only had an hour to sit and chat and meet. Well that hour turned into two and she was like WOW I had so much fun and she even insisted on meeting again for dinner. So i text her today and we chat back and forth and she says I want to clarify I don't Date but we can be friends?? What does that even mean it has never happened to me before? Any help on this weird situation and awkward I mean yeah i wear my hear on my sleeve and let everyone know how i feel and think but like i don't understand I have had the worst luck with women lately....You just got friendzoned She's not attracted to you as a sex partner ...and no, that doesn't mean you need to become an a**hole. It might mean you're coming off as too eager to please, too docile, etc. In short, you might be coming off as a friendly boring guy. Don't hide your sexual intentions behind a facade of friendliness. Exude sexual presence through confidence and charm. You don't need to be more of an a**hole. Just be more...for lack of a better work, masculine. 1
FitChick Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 She doesn't find you physically attractive. Improve what you can. 1
TheZebra Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Did you pay? Did she offer to pay for her coffee? If you paid, she never offered, and gladly accepted your paying...then in many respects you two went on a date. I only bring this up mainly because for someone who says "I don't date", she has a funny way of showing it. I wish this were true all the time.. I once went out with a guy, he paid, and not to mention he paid many other times we went out (I was VERY interested in him and still offered), but he never made a move. Turns out those dinners and drinks we went for were never dates and he was never interested in me romantically (??) Just my way of saying not ALL situations are created equal.
orchids Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Just go with it dude. Seriously. She's trying to feel you out. If you bail now her suspicions will be confirmed. Just hang out with her for a while and keep hanging out with her. I second this, just go with it. Personally I would also make myself a little less available as compared to someone courting her. Much as you like her, she should be just a friend to you as well. If at some point she wants more of your time, you're probably getting somewhere imho
ltjg45 Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 When women say, I don't date, they mean I don't date you. This is why I have doubts when it comes to dating. Why would women go through the trouble of telling these lies because, in the end, that is EXACTLY what they are. If a woman approaches me and I don't want her, I will tell her that I just don't want her. Done. Nice, quick, and brutally direct. Why would women try to spin it around when they do the rejecting? If the guy doesn't get the message after that, then use brute force as he is clearly an idiot and deserves the wrath that he is about to get.
sillyanswer Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 So i text her today and we chat back and forth and she says I want to clarify I don't Date but we can be friends?? What does that even mean it has never happened to me before? Any help on this weird situation Text her back and say "oh, well I'm looking for a girlfriend so maybe this isn't going to work". You can even leave out the "maybe".
phineas Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 when a woman tells me: but we can be friends?? I politely tell her I got enough friends & move on. 2
SmileFace Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) I tell guys I'm not interested I don't date all the time. Level . F.Zoned And never do I ask to be friends. If he wants to be friends that is his choice. I will and have never offered that option to a guy. I truthfully don't need anymore male friends who are interested in me and I don't feel the same way. I don't need nor do I want the attention. It will be his own choice to be only friends with someone he is interested in. All on his own. Edited June 27, 2013 by SmileFace
SmileFace Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Then that guy tries to grope you in public or private or secretly push the relationship along. Better to cut them completely loose. Are you asking or saying this is something that will happen ? I have never had any guy push any limits with me since a conversation like this will happen from the beginning. I never do anything to give them the impression that I'm interested. No texting all day, no outings which they pay for - if they actually so clueless they probably decided to cut any idea of a friendship from the beggining and if it comes to a point where they are acting as if they are trying to push a nonexistent relationship along I will let thrm know what the situation is and cut contact. However I am not going to babysit a guy who lets his own idea lead him on.
grkBoy Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I wish this were true all the time.. I once went out with a guy, he paid, and not to mention he paid many other times we went out (I was VERY interested in him and still offered), but he never made a move. Turns out those dinners and drinks we went for were never dates and he was never interested in me romantically (??) Just my way of saying not ALL situations are created equal. That is just strange. Unless the guy has cash to burn and could care less about money...I usually assume a guy is paying because he wants to date the girl or at least sleep with her. Sorry it didn't work for you.
hppr Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 So i text her today and we chat back and forth and she says I want to clarify I don't Date but we can be friends?? What does that even mean it has never happened to me before? She wants free dinner without any strings attached. Lots of guys are idiots and will spring for this just because they 'hope' she'll change her mind. Just tell her no, say you have enough friends and are looking for something more and move on.
Lansing Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Well, I have a friend (ex-gf) who tells me all the time that she doesn't want to date now and she get creeped out by guys that ask her out on "dates"... We got together because we just hung out and did things together. It wasn't really "dates"... I think I took her our once or twice and paid while we were still friends (like her b-day type stuff) but I think we both felt the connection but the timing wasn't right to date. Anyway, it just eventually happened and we started dating. I think with a girl like that she has a notion of what "dating" is and doesn't want the formalities of it. It doesn't mean that you can't enjoy her company and that there might not be a connection there. Just don't get suckered into doing date like things (i.e. paying/etc) without those rewards. Instead keep it friendly and maybe flirty if she is receptive to that and see where it goes.
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