CarrieT Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Good article about this phenomenon that we discuss so often on this site... In recap: Smart Ways to Break the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern (emotionally or sexually): • Get in touch with the ways you might be denying your partner or coming on too strong sexually. • Strike a balance between separateness and togetherness. Avoid criticizing each other and make peace by stopping the blame game. • Keep in mind that it's the pattern not the person that's the problem so find ways to connect with your partner and to be more accepting. Understand that sexual desires ebb and flow. • Distancers need to practice initiating sex more often and try carving time out for emotional intimacy and romance. • Pursuers need to find ways to tell their partner "You're sexy" but avoid a critique after sex. • If you or your partner feels flooded, walk away but not in anger or blame. Disengage as a way to restore your composure not to punish your partner.
tbf Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 To explain this in terms of the five languages of love, the husband's language is physical touch. The wife's priority languages appear to be words of affirmation and quality time.
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