melodicintention Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Long story short, I use meetup.com to meet people. The following situation has happened to me a couple of times. I get there, and meet everyone. A particular guy seems to like me that I am not attracted to. I am very polite but also try not to give him signs I am interested or mislead him. Two times now these guys asked me out right in front of the meetup. It was very awkward for me because I'm being asked out essentially in front of strangers. I feel put on the spot. Normally I would politely say I am not interested, but somehow I feel so awkward rejecting them in front of people, especially where there IS a guy present that I am attracted to. IMO these guys are kind of setting themselves up for embarrassment, so maybe I am overthinking this. But maybe not? So what is your opinion? Do I just politely say I am not interested? Do I dodge the question altogether? Is there something witty or cute I can say to let him down nicely in front of everyone? How can I reject him and not look bitchy in front of the other people who came to the meetup?
Keke1 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Why can't you just use the private message feature???
TouchedByViolet Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Easy, if he is a white guy, say you are into black guys. If he is a black guy say you are into white guys. If he is any other gender just say you are into black or whites guys jk Say you are busy but will let him know when your schedule opens up. It's going to be a bit awkward any way you go. 1
O'Malley Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 "You seem like a great person and I appreciate the offer, but I just don't feel a connection." Then change the subject. It might be awkward, but they are choosing to put you on the spot by doing it in front of an audience, so just minimize it as much as you can. If it's online, I second PMing the person.
Mrlonelyone Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 If this is a meetup you go to because you like the activity then just tell him that you are not interested in dating him without being nasty. It's really that simple. Don't tell him he's a great person (unless he's at least taken the time to get to know you). I have had the experience of a woman not being interested, being really nasty about it, then latter coming back and acting interested when I move on from them. Don't be that woman towards this man. I know it sounds unlikely, but having someone stop paying attention who you shoo off can have a strange way of feeling not so different than rejection. 1
Leegh Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Perhaps you could just say "I don't have my business cards with me right now, with my telephone number and/or email address", and then politely change the subject.
Author melodicintention Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 Say you are busy but will let him know when your schedule opens up. It's going to be a bit awkward any way you go. That is exactly what I did. Thanks I don't feel so bad now 1
Phantom888 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 A zillion ways to do this without embarrassing anyone, but as a man I would prefer being rejected as follows: Man: Hey would you like to go out to dinner some time? You: Let me check my schedule, and I'll get back to you ok? This is THE UNIVERSAL brush-off. All men should know this by now. Only clueless dudes think this means maybe. So this is the most polite and subtle way to say NO! 1
Author melodicintention Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 If this is a meetup you go to because you like the activity then just tell him that you are not interested in dating him without being nasty. It's really that simple. Don't tell him he's a great person (unless he's at least taken the time to get to know you). I agree that's a good point to say that I came to meet people and not for dating. That's what I'm going to say next time. This is why I love Loveshack! Thanks for your input you totally helped me! /thread
nerd Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 And then the guy you are interested in overhears this, and decides not to ask you out. Or he does ask you out, and you say yes, and the guy you just lied to feels even worse than he would have if you'd respected him enough to simply say, Thanks for the interest, but it's not reciprocated. But it's your life - do what you will. 1
GorillaTheater Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I learned my lesson about asking women/girls out in front of an audience back in high school. Talk about knowingly creating an awkward situation. 1
FitChick Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Say you are busy but will let him know when your schedule opens up. Then he will stand there waiting for you to check your phone so you should say, "I write my schedule on a wall calendar in my kitchen." 2
ChessPieceFace Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 How can you go out with him when you have so much hair to wash, and laundry to do?
D-Lish Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 A zillion ways to do this without embarrassing anyone, but as a man I would prefer being rejected as follows: Man: Hey would you like to go out to dinner some time? You: Let me check my schedule, and I'll get back to you ok? This is THE UNIVERSAL brush-off. All men should know this by now. Only clueless dudes think this means maybe. So this is the most polite and subtle way to say NO! I can tell you from experience that this leaves the door open. I think you have to say "no thanks" outright. 1
TheZebra Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 When someone is interested in you, just your mere presence gives them hope that you are interested in them. I would just say you don't feel that way, very politely, and go your separate ways.
hppr Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 I'm waiting for a guy to make a thread on here about how he's been going to the gym, bought nice clothes, wears cologne, new haircut, goes out regularly, and still can't get a girl's phone number at a meetup.com. Somehow, somewhere, i just know this is going to happen.
Lansing Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Are these single groups through meetup.com? If not, then why assume the guy wants to take you out on a date. Maybe he is there for the same reason ou are, to make friends and meet people. How would you like a guy to ask ou out as a friend? See, I am in situations where I am the guy getting a girls number and even when my intention is just friendly I someone ws don't get a call back when I try to reach out to her after.
sillyanswer Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 How can I reject him and not look bitchy in front of the other people who came to the meetup? "Thank you, but no." and smile.
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