hockeygoal30 Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 Hey guys, bear with me here. This post is long, but some much stuff has happened between my ex and I need to 1) vent and 2) tell the story so I can get some good input My ex-girlfriend, Karmean, and I broke up in August of 2003 at our friends graduation party. We had only been dating for a couple of months, but she decided to end it because she was going to be a freshman at Michigan State University. Later that night my friend's mom found my ex and another guy passed out in a bed together, which really made me mad. Because of that her and I did not talk much for about 7months. During that time I had called her a few times drunk and left some mean messages. In December I started dating another girl for a couple of months, but ended the realationship because I still had strong feelings for Karmean. When her birthday came around in March I had called her to say happy birthday, but she did not answer her phone which was no surprise to me. I left her a message saying happy birthday; I did this on my way to play in my hockey game. She later called me back and we had a good talk. A couple of weeks later she had called me to get directions to get to my place. I was shocked and asked her why; she wanted to come be with me during my b-day which was just a couple of days away. So i gave her the directions and she came up to see me and be with me on my birthday. That night she was up she had asked me if I believe in second chances; and I had said yes, but no thirds. Things went very well that night, and she kissed me that morning when we woke up. Things seemed to be headed in the right direction. A few weeks after that I had went to MSU to be with her, but that was the last time we spent time together because I ended up working the rest of the weekends. We talked on the phone for an hour or so every night after she came to see me, but one night she stoped calling. So I had called her to make sure things were ok. Unfortunetly things weren't that great, she had been home and saw her 1st boyfriend and suddenly became confused. So I said that maybe we should just wait until we both came home for the summer, and she agreed. Early into the summer I had been at a bonfire at a friends, but I was tired and went home. Well on my way home, she called me. She had wanted me to come over and help feed the horses and chickens, because her parents were gone. So I went over to help, and we fell asleep watching TV. She later moved into another room and yelled for me to come. We fooled around a little bit then went to bed. This was very confusing to me so I talked to her best friend and told her the situation, and even told her what had happened a few nights before. I had told her not to say anything about what I had told her....foolish of me to think that her friend could keep her mouth closed. Anyways her friend had mentioned what I had told her and Karmean denied it all. This caused a big thing between the three of us. We stoped talking again for about 2months, then finally one night we got in a big fight. When things finally settled down we talked about what was going on. Her friend had asked why I had lied and I looked at Karmean and said "can you honestly say I was not at your house that night" and she gave me the look like "don't ask me that please" and she shook her head no. This angred me greatly and I got up and left. Her and I have made up since then, and we talk every so often, mostly online. Her and I haven't talked on the phone for almost a month. She had called me when my gradfather passed away this September, and that was the last time we talked on the phone. So I here asking you guys to give me some advice. For some reason I still think about this girl a lot, and I would give almost anything to be back with her! One last thing, I have mentioned to her every now and then about not talking, and whenever I say that she quickly says no, she wants to talk to me. Whatever that means!
faux Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 Originally posted by hockeygoal30 Hey guys, bear with me here. This post is long, but some much stuff has happened between my ex and I need to 1) vent and 2) tell the story so I can get some good input My ex-girlfriend, Karmean, and I broke up in August of 2003 at our friends graduation party. We had only been dating for a couple of months, but she decided to end it because she was going to be a freshman at Michigan State University. Later that night my friend's mom found my ex and another guy passed out in a bed together, which really made me mad. Because of that her and I did not talk much for about 7months. During that time I had called her a few times drunk and left some mean messages. In December I started dating another girl for a couple of months, but ended the realationship because I still had strong feelings for Karmean... Getting drunk and leaving angry messages is a bad idea, and I am certain you will agree with that. I think it was responsible of you to end the new relationship, when you realized that you still were not over your ex. I think that your anger and hurt were understandable. Break-ups are rarely ever easy. ...This was very confusing to me so I talked to her best friend and told her the situation, and even told her what had happened a few nights before. I had told her not to say anything about what I had told her....foolish of me to think that her friend could keep her mouth closed... I find that it is usually bad practice to involve third parties in situations such as this. This was a learning experience, and hopefully you will retain this knowledge and find it useful for the future. I understand that you did, at the time, what you felt was best. ...Anyways her friend had mentioned what I had told her and Karmean denied it all. This caused a big thing between the three of us... Things definitely get rocky when more people become involved. I have been in a few bad situations, myself. ...We stoped talking again for about 2months, then finally one night we got in a big fight. When things finally settled down we talked about what was going on. Her friend had asked why I had lied and I looked at Karmean and said "can you honestly say I was not at your house that night" and she gave me the look like "don't ask me that please" and she shook her head no. This angred me greatly and I got up and left... I would say that you handled yourself well in this situation. It was probably hard for you to deal with this alone, but walking away from it was impressive. ...Her and I have made up since then, and we talk every so often, mostly online. Her and I haven't talked on the phone for almost a month. She had called me when my gradfather passed away this September, and that was the last time we talked on the phone. So I here asking you guys to give me some advice. For some reason I still think about this girl a lot, and I would give almost anything to be back with her! One last thing, I have mentioned to her every now and then about not talking, and whenever I say that she quickly says no, she wants to talk to me. Whatever that means! I do not know enough, but from what little I do, I gather that it might not be a good idea to pursue this any further. If you insist upon speaking with her, it may be a good idea to do so very infrequently. It may be a good idea for you to stop speaking with her altogether, actually. I suggest reflecting on what sorts of things have gone wrong, and making a list. Compare the positive outcomes of continuing to associate with your ex, to the negative experiences that have resulted from doing so in the past. Maybe looking things over on paper will help you to come to a better conclusion about what you should do. I know that, when I have been in situations such as yours, I found it terribly hard to think clearly without my emotions getting in the way. Making lists helped me sort things out quite well. I trust that you will make your own choice, and I want you to know that I believe what you feel you ought to do is the best decision. If you can, try to put your feelings first for the time being.
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