Should you ask someone out you're not attracted in order to get experience?

[ManlyStudson]

There's a person that I work with that I'm fairly certain is interested in me (mutual friend told me as much).

 

The problem is that while I like her and she's not repulsive or anything I'm just not really attracted to her.

 

I know it might seem strange to be considering asking out someone you're not attracted to but as a 22 year old socially awkward and very average looking dude with no experience I'm starting to feel that of I don't get at least some experience now it's going seriously count against me later on.

 

Do you think I should go for it or just let it go?

[will1988]

if you are not attracted to her, than there is no use in leading the poor girl on... so no. practice asking girls out at the bar, club, gym, coffee shop etc...

[Southern Cal Dude]

No. That's leading the person on. If it happened to you, you wouldn't like it very much.

[ManlyStudson]

Thanks for the quick response will.

 

You're probably right and I have thought as much. However, I just can't help shake the feeling that this is too good and rare an opportunity to just let pass by. Would it be leading her on if I just ask her to go for a coffee (or whatever it is that people to do ha ) and see if I like her more after that?

 

As for asking random girls out at bars, gym ect...I have tried that tbh I think only a certain type of guy can pull that off and I'm not him.

[ManlyStudson]

No. That's leading the person on. If it happened to you, you wouldn't like it very much.

 

Thank you for the reply southern cal dude.

 

You're right. Someone did do this to me and did so for laugh. But I want to make it clear that I'm not doing this for a joke or to hurt them and think that I might learn to like this person...i just don't atm.

[ManlyStudson]

No. People aren't dolls or experiments. If you want to gain experience, do it with someone you actually like and for whom said experience would be mutually beneficial.

 

You are right of course, but tbh I don't think such a person exists and sometimes you have to compromise. But you and the other posters are right that it's probably not a good idea.

[Inflikted]

If you're doing it JUST to "get experience", I'd say it's a bad idea, because, well, it's just not nice to hurt someone like that.

 

But if you're willing to settle and stick it out with her, go for it. As someone that's had zero luck in the dating world, my perception of dating has changed in such a way that I think some of us guys don't really have "options". We don't get the benefit of finding a girl we really like and enjoy being with; we have to take what we can get and settle for someone we can tolerate enough to stick with long term.

[hppr]

Depends.

 

If it's not super attracted, but could still have sex with after a couple beers - and she liked a lot of the same things I did - then I'd consider it. Most of the time those mediocre looking guys and girls are much more fun, easier to be with, and better in bed than the 'hot' ones.

 

But if it's I'm not attracted to her, I can't see myself having sex with her, and nothing in common then no. Wouldn't happen.

 

So pick which of these sounds most realistic to you and go from there.

[Els]

Ask out? No. Talk to/interact with? Sure.

 

Think about this: How would you feel if a girl asked you out, then it later turns out that she was just asking you for 'practice'?

[ManlyStudson]

But if you're willing to settle and stick it out with her, go for it. As someone that's had zero luck in the dating world, my perception of dating has changed in such a way that I think some of us guys don't really have "options". We don't get the benefit of finding a girl we really like and enjoy being with; we have to take what we can get and settle for someone we can tolerate enough to stick with long term.

 

Actually, this describes my situation very well Inflikted, I'm sure you and I are very similar.

 

I know what you and the others mean when they say I shouldn't lead a person on...but I see these threads about dateless 30 year old virgins and think "my god that's going to me!" This could be my chance to avoid that. I might not get another.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Ask out? No. Talk to/interact with? Sure.

 

Think about this: How would you feel if a girl asked you out, then it later turns out that she was just asking you for 'practice'?

 

 

That would be admitting women asking men out is common.

[ThaWholigan]

That would be admitting women asking men out is common.

It's pretty common where I'm from

[Southern Cal Dude]

It's pretty common where I'm from

 

 

I'm not saying it's rare, but the majority don't do it. Unless that's what goes down in London. I'm in Los Angeles. While not rare, it's not the norm either.

[JuneJulySeptember]

There's a person that I work with that I'm fairly certain is interested in me (mutual friend told me as much).

 

The problem is that while I like her and she's not repulsive or anything I'm just not really attracted to her.

 

I know it might seem strange to be considering asking out someone you're not attracted to but as a 22 year old socially awkward and very average looking dude with no experience I'm starting to feel that of I don't get at least some experience now it's going seriously count against me later on.

 

Do you think I should go for it or just let it go?

 

Every freakin' week there's a post on here about someone who knows a person who is super cool but thinks they are ugly and should they ask them out (or accept the date)?

 

Why do you need the approval of a bunch of strangers on an internet forum?

 

If you think a person is cool, but there's not that much physical attraction, ask them out. Dare to be different. Dare to be non-shallow. Figure out the consequences for yourself.

 

I've asked out women all the time I think are So-So or less physically but cool. They usually reject me. I'm sure it's because they can read my mind and tell I don't want to rip their clothes off. NOT!