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Maybe I am too horrible to love.


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Posted

It's late and I have been thinking. Maybe I am too horrible to love.

 

Oh I have had sex, plenty of sex. Since I am bi it has been men and women, a fair share of both. Yet it seems that finding a steady stable relationship is just beyond what I am capable of. That is the one thing I have wanted for a while, a real steady relationship.

 

Is it possible I am just to horrible to truly love? That I just lack some skill that would make me able to have a relationship?

Posted

I think it's because you are bi.

  • Author
Posted
I think it's because you are bi.

 

If that were a problem for these folks the why screw me?

 

Oh let me point out one thing. There are gay and lesbians who are as afraid or more a bi person will leave them as any straight man or woman.

  • Author
Posted

Does anyone have anything real to say about this?

Posted

maybe you are looking in the wrong places. Stop thinking that you need a relationship and focus on just doing your thing every day. when you least expect it the long term relationship will happen

Posted

This is a fairly common complaint among women: good enough for sex, but not for a relationship or marriage.

 

This is why women learn to delay sex until the relationship part is at least clear. Usually this means a few (or more) dates with conversations about what each of you is looking for in a partner, plus an agreement of exclusivity (not commitment--just agreement that we are only dating and sleeping with each other at this point).

 

If you act like a hook up (have sex without any discussion about the nature of the relationship), many people will view you and treat you as a hook up.

  • Like 3
Posted

You're not too horrible to love. :love:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even Hitler had Eva Braun. :p

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted
This is a fairly common complaint among women: good enough for sex, but not for a relationship or marriage.

 

This is why women learn to delay sex until the relationship part is at least clear. Usually this means a few (or more) dates with conversations about what each of you is looking for in a partner, plus an agreement of exclusivity (not commitment--just agreement that we are only dating and sleeping with each other at this point).

 

If you act like a hook up (have sex without any discussion about the nature of the relationship), many people will view you and treat you as a hook up.

 

The last person I was involved with was a woman, a biological woman JIC you wonder. I met her parents who talked to me like I was their future son in law.

 

Women can be just as much about casual sex as men they just get to pretend that they aren't. Especially if the man is from a taboo group. (At least I was in the eyes of at least some of, her young and ignorant friends.)

Posted
The last person I was involved with was a woman, a biological woman JIC you wonder. I met her parents who talked to me like I was their future son in law.

 

Women can be just as much about casual sex as men they just get to pretend that they aren't. Especially if the man is from a taboo group. (At least I was in the eyes of at least some of, her young and ignorant friends.)

 

Women can treat people like sex objects, too. Your struggle is more commonly experienced and shared by women, but that doesn't mean men are immune from it. You can learn from the wisdom women in this situation share.

 

What her parents do and what she does are two completely different things. It isn't uncommon for parents to have no clue about the realities of their grown kids' dating lives.

Posted

I doubt you're too horrible to love as it seems people are interested in you, if only for casual relationships. I suspect being bi doesn't help. Any heterosexual person is going to wonder if you would feel the need stray to the opposite sex and so may not want to risk a long-term relationship. Maybe you should be looking for others who are bi.

Posted

Lonely, WTF is going on with you that you'd consider yourself horrible for even an instant!!! Now get back up on that horse and stay positive.

 

*Smacks ass*

  • Like 1
Posted
Even Hitler had Eva Braun. :p

 

Talk about back-handed words of encouragement! :laugh:

  • Author
Posted
I doubt you're too horrible to love as it seems people are interested in you, if only for casual relationships. I suspect being bi doesn't help. Any heterosexual person is going to wonder if you would feel the need stray to the opposite sex and so may not want to risk a long-term relationship. Maybe you should be looking for others who are bi.

 

Believe it or not gay men have the similar fear that bisexuals will stray the same sex.

 

Robyn Ochs: Biphobia

 

BiphobiaMost bi people I have met come laden with painful stories of rejection by both heterosexuals and lesbians and gay men.

 

A primary manifestation of biphobia is the denial of the very existence of bisexual people, attributable to the fact that many cultures think in binary categories, with each category having its mutually exclusive opposite. This is powerfully evident in the areas of sex and gender. Male and female, and heterosexuality and homosexuality are seen as "opposite categories." Those whose sexual orientation defies simple labeling or those whose sex or gender is ambiguous may make us profoundly uncomfortable.

 

Here is a detailed discussion of it GL vs BT

 

 

Many bi women deny bisexuality in men...

 

The sad truth is there is no stereotyped group which I can count on not having a problem with me.

 

@ XX00 Possibly, but these people knew everything she did about me . Like they talked about me at length before I came. It was not just assumption on my part or theirs. No matter as it is probably done for good.

Posted

You're not horrible at all. You're just having difficulties that are making you feel bad. But you're not.

  • Author
Posted
Lonely, WTF is going on with you that you'd consider yourself horrible for even an instant!!! Now get back up on that horse and stay positive.

 

*Smacks ass*

 

 

I have been on dates in the last month. :)

  • Author
Posted
You're not too horrible to love. :love:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even Hitler had Eva Braun. :p

 

Talk about back-handed words of encouragement! :laugh:

 

You're not horrible at all. You're just having difficulties that are making you feel bad. But you're not

 

Exactly. It is like somehow I must he especially awful. At least it feels that way sometimes.

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