Vandetta123 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Hi guys, I am always curious why my LDR girlfriend always say that I am immature during our fights. I really hate that. But in the matter of fact, I admit I am quite immature sometimes. Since she is 3 years older than me, maybe she will always have the thought that I am younger and more immature. I want her to see me as a mature guy that she can trust and rely on. Anyone have any ideas ? I know being mature is not something that anyone can help or teach but I hope there are couples out there that have experience and willing to share. The things that I think I am immature is firstly, because I cant decide on something properly. I tends to be in dilemma and cares on other people's feeling too much that I could not decide. Secondly, I love to drag on a certain tasks from days to weeks to months. I really hate myself doing these things. I know that no one can help with these problems. But if there is someone out there who can provide any solution... I would really appreciate it.
CherryT Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 You admit you are quite immature and she tells you that. Don't hate the truth. In order for her to SEE you as a mature guy and someone she can trust and rely on, you need to BE that guy. You already know where some of your issues are. You can change them if you want. When a situation arises maybe it's time for you to be a big boy and make a decision and stop procrastinating. I'm in my late 20's and I have girlfriends who have boyfriends in their 30's that continue to do what you do... they can't make a decision on their own to save their life and procrastinate and never really accomplish much because of it. It get's old and they resent them. Most women do not see the appeal in sticking with someone who does that. Especially if we want to get married and have kids... this is not a husband/father/partnership that I personally would want. You are half way there in acknowledging you have areas that you should focus and work on. Now it's up to you to recognize it when it happens and do the opposite of what you normally do. 3
Author Vandetta123 Posted June 27, 2013 Author Posted June 27, 2013 Thank you very much for the reply. I will try hard to change those habits. And another question is that what if she got angry with me because of some small childish problems, such as hiding the anniversary post in facebook. I know it sounds bad for me to do that, but I just want the relationship to be kept in low profile first. So how should I react ?
amayana Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Thank you very much for the reply. I will try hard to change those habits. And another question is that what if she got angry with me because of some small childish problems, such as hiding the anniversary post in facebook. I know it sounds bad for me to do that, but I just want the relationship to be kept in low profile first. So how should I react ? I honestly think she's overreacting a bit. My BF and I are not even 'in a relationship' on Facebook and who cares?! That doesn't mean we're not together. We've been together for over a year now and we still haven't changed anyting on our pages because it really isn't important. I understand that your girlfriend might be worried that this means you're trying to hide your relationship or that you're not sure about it. What exactly are your reasons to keep the relationship low profile? How long have you been together? I would guess not very long?
justwhoiam Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Work on preventing problems, rather then facing them with almost no way out. You need to talk and explain why you do something before you do it, so that she can understand your POV. She might not understand, but you need to be convincing, and letting her know it's something you just want temporarily. And make sure you tell her it's not because you are unsure about the relationship, rather some propitiatory action... If she asks when you'd like it to be publicly official, don't answer "I don't know". Almost any answer will be better than "I don't know". (Don't make the deadline too long, or you'll create ground for a possible argument if not a fight).
Carenth Posted June 27, 2013 Posted June 27, 2013 Not that I've ever had someone I've dated get upset over being "Facebook official". If I was ever asked why I don't want to be "official" on Facebook is because simply I hate the website, I only use it because it is the only platform that some of my friends use for communication. Otherwise I wouldn't bother with it at all. For me it's not about hiding the relationship it's more about it's not anyone's bloody business. Anyone who knows and cares about me knows I'm in a relationship and with whom. Everyone else well they don't matter... Either way luckily my girlfriend shares the same opinion of Facebook so that is not an issue for us.
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