jeffbon Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 In college (1970-74) I had a girlfriend from 1971-74 who I deeply loved. 2 weeks before graduation she said she didn't love me anymore. I was devastated. I still think about her even though I'm married for 20 years. I have suffered and been treated for depression ever since. Recently, I found her on the internet under her married name including address, phone number and even family photographs. Every night lately, I look at her photographs and the pain feels like it happened yesterday. She's 61 now but she still looks ok to me. My question: Is it appropriate for me to contact her via email or Facebook just to see how she is or is that just creepy? 1
StrongLass Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 It's only appropriate if you REALLY "just want to see how she is" The fact the you're feeling a rush of emotions "like it happened yesterday" though is telling me otherwise, as well as the fact that you're still being treated for depression you've had ever since she dumped you that day... And the fact that you're looking at her photos every night... ...Yeah, you're creeping on her. Some chapters of our lives are best left closed. 3
lop98 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I think you deposited in that memory (and this woman) issues that had little to do with her and that you can still deal with in therapy. You already dragged this along for most of your life, one person is not going to solve it... you're now just providing your brain elements to pull out of that traumatizing experience and those elements unfortunately involve someone else, who has no responsibility (or obligation) in your chances to overcome it.
Sav Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Dude, you are married, what the hell is wrong with you? Leave your poor wife is you are going to cheat and yes if the opportunity presents itself I'm pretty sure you wont be able to keep it in your pants 1
Author jeffbon Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 FYI-A physical relationship is the furthest thing from my mind. Being partially disabled, seeing her in person is not an option.
Author jeffbon Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 (edited) Stronglass, Very wise words... Obviously, not what I was hoping for. Edited June 26, 2013 by jeffbon 1
crazy1234 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 i dont think u should take this step of contacting her after sooo many years and its not ever like she loved you all along.She had moved on long before you did and plus you are married.Did u even think what if you'r wife figures this intention of you'rs and leave hr devastated?dont make her go through such a thing.You'r wife loved you all along not this other woman who's married to another man.Dont do this for your wife atleast.
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