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I get interested--they lose interest


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Posted

It seems like when someone likes me, I am pretty cautious at first. They do the pursuing, etc.... Sometimes this has happened right after a breakup when I am too depressed (or angry) to even want to look at a guy. In some cases, I was pretty much ignoring them.

 

 

Since they keep pursuing, I gradually start to loosen up. Then, as I start to like them back and show some interest (and open myself up for hurt), they lose interest.

I just think why should I bother with it all anymore then.

 

Is there some game I'm supposed to be playing that I don't know about? Am I supposed to keep ignoring them just to keep them interested? WTF?

Posted

Hey! Well first of all, when you put your heart on the line you have to be prepared for anything. It seems like maybe you are finding these guys at the wrong time...like after a breakup, at a depressed time, or when you are angry. Maybe you are the one who isn't ready. When you are ready for a relationship you will know. Love happens at the times when you are least expecting it to. Maybe you should take a little break and not look so hard because when you aren't looking is when you will find what you want. You will know when you find the right guy. In the mean time go out and enjoy yourself. Have fun with your girlfriends. Also, a guy likes a good challenge. I'm not saying to ignore them so you drive them completely away, but play his game a little. Play a little hard to get. It gets them everytime!! And be yourself, if he doesn't like you for who you are, then he isn't worth your time.

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Posted

mysticalstar: Maybe you should take a little break and not look so hard because when you aren't looking is when you will find what you want.

 

 

Like I said, they approach me when I AM not looking.

 

 

 

mysticalstar: You will know when you find the right guy.

 

 

I did--and he's not available.

 

mysticalstar: In the mean time go out and enjoy yourself. Have fun with your girlfriends.

 

I'm older---that doesn't happen much. Most have b/f's, husbands, kids, aging parents, busy jobs, or like to hang out in bars.

 

 

mysticalstar: Also, a guy likes a good challenge. I'm not saying to ignore them so you drive them completely away, but play his game a little. Play a little hard to get. It gets them everytime!!

 

It gets them till you like them. How are you supposed to continue playing? Never show you're interested????? Besides, why play games????

 

You know it's funny but you can't win either way. With this guy i've been hanging out with/dating lately--I was determined not to start calling him this early in the game (based on past experiences). I could already tell he was peeved that i didn't initiate calling him ever. Like I said, you can't win either way.

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