me people of the world

[lostandhurt]

I was with this guy for 1 year. I was single for 9 yrs trying to avoid being hurt but became so lonely. He introduced me to his family/parents/friends. We hung out every weekend I then asked after 4 months what road was we heading down he didn't have an answer & my uncle had just passed I was hurting. He was not very supportive I shut down for three weeks. Then we picked right back up as before same routine. I asked the aske question I'm hanging with you and your family going to functions with you. I expressed my feeling and I also expressed I'm seeking something long term. To make a long story short this dude broke up with me via text. Then contacted me the next day like nothing never happened. I'm not perfect I will admit fear and being scared had me asking questions alot but I felt that I should be able to ask anything we are grown I have a right to know what he was expecting from me as what I was expecting from him. He always acted like he was afraid to express him self. Anyways after he dumped me we had some communication for a few days then he redumped me via text but before he sent the text he blocked my number. After I got the text I tried to call him that's when I discovered I was blocked and that hurt me so bad. I kept calling hoping to get thru I did he answered the phone and wouldn't say anything I hung up. Then his cousin called me back from his phone asking me to stop calling her cousin phone so much. I was so angry because I felt that was so childish him hiding behind a family member he wasn't man enough to ask me not to call. I'm so hurt all of my defenses fell down and I fell in love I'm struggling to pick up the pieces I entered back into a world of love and caring only to get burned I've cried so many nights I'm in so much pain. I keep praying for strength to move forward. I have not been able to vent to him because the coward blocked my number but sent me a text saying what he wanted to say telling me it was my fault I wanted to be in control and didn just let it happen and that he hasn't been right since I left the first time (which our communication fell off only because he didnt know what he wanted to do & my uncle died and he wasn't supportive & I shut down to grieve) what grown man hurt you via text and then become a coward and won't talk to you for closure