PatheticDave Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 so ive dated this girl for about 4 years off and on....had some trust problems and recently just got back together but i still feel like she doesnt appreciate me as much as she should. i do everything in the world for her and i dont doubt she loves me but she just never shows it besides saying i love you. shes always hidden her feelings and ive gotten used to it but i just dont know how much i can take. she nevers wants to have sex, i always pay for stuff, am i total moron?!?!?!
iceisles Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 Originally posted by PatheticDave so ive dated this girl for about 4 years off and on....had some trust problems and recently just got back together but i still feel like she doesnt appreciate me as much as she should. i do everything in the world for her and i dont doubt she loves me but she just never shows it besides saying i love you. shes always hidden her feelings and ive gotten used to it but i just dont know how much i can take. she nevers wants to have sex, i always pay for stuff, am i total moron?!?!?! You're not a moron, but you should move on. Take it from me, once you have any trust issues, things are never the same again. Plus it seems like she is not really into this relationship with you. It almost sounds like she is just using you for nothing more than an ego boost.
Author PatheticDave Posted October 16, 2004 Author Posted October 16, 2004 Originally posted by iceisles You're not a moron, but you should move on. Take it from me, once you have any trust issues, things are never the same again. Plus it seems like she is not really into this relationship with you. It almost sounds like she is just using you for nothing more than an ego boost. just really hard to let go....she does love me im sure of that and i know im in love with her...maybe its just a security thing but i cant seem to move on, when i did i went into depression basically
Merin Posted October 16, 2004 Posted October 16, 2004 Dave, have you talked to her about this? You need to make her aware (if you haven't already) how you feel.. it's not okay for only one person to have thier needs met in a relationship regardless if what those needs are. Good Luck
Author PatheticDave Posted October 16, 2004 Author Posted October 16, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 Dave, have you talked to her about this? You need to make her aware (if you haven't already) how you feel.. it's not okay for only one person to have thier needs met in a relationship regardless if what those needs are. Good Luck i did tonight and shes avoiding it but i think shes getting the picture i wont stay with her
Author PatheticDave Posted October 16, 2004 Author Posted October 16, 2004 any girls have advice why she doesnt wanna have sex? she says not in mood? she has cheated before so that makes me wonder....or she might not be attracted to me?
gypsy Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 I'm sorry it's so hard for you to leave her, I'm a girl and I've been in the same situation with a guy where I didn't feel like he loved me as much as I loved him. Trust me though, if you leave her it will get better, it just takes alot of time. As far as why she may not want to have sex, believe me, girls love sex as much as men, but they have to feel loved and cared for in order to have it. Some girls are fine with casual sex but most aren't, they need an emotional connection to go along with it unless they are ultra insecure and have low self-esteem. Maybe look at yourself and see if you are giving her enough love and showing it in the right ways. If you want any advice on how to show her you love her let me know, I can give you a few pointers =) good luck!
Author PatheticDave Posted October 17, 2004 Author Posted October 17, 2004 Originally posted by gypsy I'm sorry it's so hard for you to leave her, I'm a girl and I've been in the same situation with a guy where I didn't feel like he loved me as much as I loved him. Trust me though, if you leave her it will get better, it just takes alot of time. As far as why she may not want to have sex, believe me, girls love sex as much as men, but they have to feel loved and cared for in order to have it. Some girls are fine with casual sex but most aren't, they need an emotional connection to go along with it unless they are ultra insecure and have low self-esteem. Maybe look at yourself and see if you are giving her enough love and showing it in the right ways. If you want any advice on how to show her you love her let me know, I can give you a few pointers =) good luck! thanks for your advice...its not really casual sex im looking for. i shower in lots of ways how much i love her, and really go out of my way to make her happy in anyway. she knows i care about her and im a lot more sensitive than she is....i just dont think i want to leave her because i know shes the one
Dakini Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Dave, How can you be truly happy if you are feeling so empty and unloved? She is NOT the one if your feelings are not reciprocated.
Merin Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 Originally posted by Dakini Dave, How can you be truly happy if you are feeling so empty and unloved? She is NOT the one if your feelings are not reciprocated. Good point...
Author PatheticDave Posted October 18, 2004 Author Posted October 18, 2004 Originally posted by Dakini Dave, How can you be truly happy if you are feeling so empty and unloved? She is NOT the one if your feelings are not reciprocated. ive tried thinkin about it that way. some other stuff has happened now so its getting pretty rocky, just sucks having the feeling of losing someone so close to you. i know we wont be friends and i really need her in my life...thanks for yalls help
Diva Posted October 18, 2004 Posted October 18, 2004 First of all, is she on any kind of birth control like the Depo shot? That stuff can mess with your system and kill your libido. But if she doesn't have any medical issues or depression or anything that might be affecting that, it could be that she just doesn't feel that chemical "thing" when you guys are intimate, etc. I've had a few relationships where I was physically attracted to the guy, liked him, etc., but when he kissed me, it was like nothing. I just didn't feel much. And I've made out with a couple of guys that I wasn't particularly attracted to physically or even liked them personally, but for some reason it was totally hot. I don't think it works the same way for guys, at least the ones I've been with, it seems like if they are physically attracted to you, they feel the chemistry. For me that's not necessarily so. I don't know why, but it seems like a complicated combination of kissing style, body scent and other stuff that you can't always predict. Anyway, I'm getting a little off topic, but it's something I've always been curious about.
Author PatheticDave Posted October 19, 2004 Author Posted October 19, 2004 Originally posted by Diva First of all, is she on any kind of birth control like the Depo shot? That stuff can mess with your system and kill your libido. But if she doesn't have any medical issues or depression or anything that might be affecting that, it could be that she just doesn't feel that chemical "thing" when you guys are intimate, etc. I've had a few relationships where I was physically attracted to the guy, liked him, etc., but when he kissed me, it was like nothing. I just didn't feel much. And I've made out with a couple of guys that I wasn't particularly attracted to physically or even liked them personally, but for some reason it was totally hot. I don't think it works the same way for guys, at least the ones I've been with, it seems like if they are physically attracted to you, they feel the chemistry. For me that's not necessarily so. I don't know why, but it seems like a complicated combination of kissing style, body scent and other stuff that you can't always predict. Anyway, I'm getting a little off topic, but it's something I've always been curious about. well we dont have sex anymore cause shes not on birth control anymore since we broke up over summer and hasnt gotten back on....again her being selfish. now we are constantly fighting and its just going downhill i dont know what to do anymore
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