NYCGuy22 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I am just curious if after a few weeks of NC, has anyone received that magical phone call that their ex misses them and wants to try again?
turkeyman Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Man, I went through this a few months ago. No contact works better to make you forget about/get over your ex. I was asking the same questions you are right now just 3-4 months ago after getting dumped after a 3 year relationship. Don't contact your ex at all, and go out have fun, and meet some new people. You'll be over the ex before you even realize it. Also take some time to better yourself; lose weight, get in shape, get a new job, take up a hobby, etc. Good luck! 1
Sneaky Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 At week three and nothing as far as I know. I'm staying away from social media so there might be something but I really doubt it. I'm not expecting one and don't really spend time thinking about it. No contact is aimed to move on, which is what I am doing. 1
youcanever Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I am just curious if after a few weeks of NC, has anyone received that magical phone call that their ex misses them and wants to try again? She was the one who broke up and she was the one who told me not to contact her ever again. I kept that promise but she called after my 3 weeks NC. But she didn't call to get me back. It was like more hurting me or making me jealous. She was talking like I'm an old friend (which hurt me a lot), asked about my job, talked about her lessons, told about her future plans, going abroad for fun, bla bla bla. Also told she will send my stuff back by post. I said, it okay if she doesn't, but she insisted and I said okay. So, bottom line is, I wish I haven't answered that call, because I was doing so good at the last week of 3 weeks. And last 4 days my head all messed up and thinking about her and started creeping up on her. So, keep on with NC. I know it is hard, but stay strong and go FULL NC. NO PEAKING ON SOCIAL MEDIA !!! Hit the gym, focus on your work or lessons, share your feelings with your friends, hang out at this forum, cry.. All these helped me a lot and still helps for my healing process. Good luck.
aloneinaz Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I am just curious if after a few weeks of NC, has anyone received that magical phone call that their ex misses them and wants to try again? During one of the three breakups with my ex this year, she was a total a$$ to me at a party, making a $hitty comment. I ended up telling her I didn't appreciate it and she said let's go home. We didn't talk for a LLLONG drive home. She got out and I drove off. I was done w/her. I heard from her 12 days later sending me a nice email talking about closure and other things. I ended up talking to her and we reconciled. It only lasted less than two months (with her still be a *itch too often). It's OVER NOW. What i've learned through this site is you really don't want them to recontact you. It's rare that the reconcilliations last. The same problems that caused the first break up resurface as soon as the new honeymoon phase ends from the reconciliation. I really believe a lot of relationships fail when one or both parties "let their hair down" or stop being on their best behavior. That's when you see who you're really dating and their true personality. The person we first met and fell in love with is usually a far cry from the person who let's there hair down 6-8 months into the relationship. An example- During the first 6-8 months of my relationship wtih my ex, 95% of the time we got along great. During the final 6-8 months of that toxic relationship, it was maybe 50% of the time we got along. The only reason I gave it one last go was she agreed to go to therapy to address her laundry list of issues that she had from her past marriage and youth that caused some much drama in our relationship. I've mentioned before that I know a lot of long term, happily married people. None of them ever had a break up in any stage of their relationship. I think the movies make it seem more common than it really is. 1
sprucegoose Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I went NC immediately after the breakup. 7 days in and the ex asks to get back together. Then two weeks later the ex dumped me again.
jesha Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I've broken up multiple times with the same guy (he did the breaking up) and each time I take the NC route and every time he has wanted me back because he missed me so much. With NC it is really different with every situation I think if a person knows the relationship is over and it is best not to get back together they will stick to their guns
Simon Phoenix Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I am just curious if after a few weeks of NC, has anyone received that magical phone call that their ex misses them and wants to try again? You don't want to take the few weeks call if it comes. You'll just break up again more than likely. 1
LinkWorshiper Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 What i've learned through this site is you really don't want them to recontact you. It's rare that the reconcilliations last. The same problems that caused the first break up resurface as soon as the new honeymoon phase ends from the reconciliation. I really believe a lot of relationships fail when one or both parties "let their hair down" or stop being on their best behavior. That's when you see who you're really dating and their true personality. The person we first met and fell in love with is usually a far cry from the person who let's there hair down 6-8 months into the relationship. An example- During the first 6-8 months of my relationship wtih my ex, 95% of the time we got along great. During the final 6-8 months of that toxic relationship, it was maybe 50% of the time we got along. The only reason I gave it one last go was she agreed to go to therapy to address her laundry list of issues that she had from her past marriage and youth that caused some much drama in our relationship. I've mentioned before that I know a lot of long term, happily married people. None of them ever had a break up in any stage of their relationship. I think the movies make it seem more common than it really is. This is super true. I think that is what happened with my ex. He was the love of my life, or so I thought based on who he was when we fell in love. Around the holidays, he started to transform into a much more pessimistic, unhappy grouch, who barely had time to kiss me or anything, but still needed me around almost all the time. I thought it was holiday stress, so I didn't think about it too much until he dumped me in the spring. We ended up reconciling after about a month of me just letting him spin me around in his whirlwind of who-knows-what. I made the mistake of never talking about what happened with this break up when we got together, and it should have been a red flag that he never offered to even when I asked. When literally the exact same thing happened again, I was naive enough to think we would reconcile in the same way, especially because his behavior was the same. Five months down the road, all I could do was tell him that we should take space from each other because his emotional push/pull was putting me in vulnerable places that were making it hard for me to function. I still hope that the space will help him grow up a bit and realize what he's losing in me, but I know I also can't keep spending every day looking at my phone in hopes that he will call me. I have accepted it will probably be months, years more until we are even able to be friends after the way he acted in the past few months, stringing me along with a schmear of words that weren't a commitment but weren't a rejection either. You have to do you, because you can't know what the other person is thinking and you may never. It's not really the NC that would bring a person back, I think, but more that they have taken the time to focus on a change. And if that change helps them realize, 'Oh snap, I lost something really good, let me try and fix it,' THEN you hear those stories of reconciliation that actually last. At least, that's how I'm thinking right now.
aloneinaz Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 This is super true. I think that is what happened with my ex. He was the love of my life, or so I thought based on who he was when we fell in love. Around the holidays, he started to transform into a much more pessimistic, unhappy grouch, who barely had time to kiss me or anything, but still needed me around almost all the time. I thought it was holiday stress, so I didn't think about it too much until he dumped me in the spring. We ended up reconciling after about a month of me just letting him spin me around in his whirlwind of who-knows-what. I made the mistake of never talking about what happened with this break up when we got together, and it should have been a red flag that he never offered to even when I asked. When literally the exact same thing happened again, I was naive enough to think we would reconcile in the same way, especially because his behavior was the same. Five months down the road, all I could do was tell him that we should take space from each other because his emotional push/pull was putting me in vulnerable places that were making it hard for me to function. I still hope that the space will help him grow up a bit and realize what he's losing in me, but I know I also can't keep spending every day looking at my phone in hopes that he will call me. I have accepted it will probably be months, years more until we are even able to be friends after the way he acted in the past few months, stringing me along with a schmear of words that weren't a commitment but weren't a rejection either. You have to do you, because you can't know what the other person is thinking and you may never. It's not really the NC that would bring a person back, I think, but more that they have taken the time to focus on a change. And if that change helps them realize, 'Oh snap, I lost something really good, let me try and fix it,' THEN you hear those stories of reconciliation that actually last. At least, that's how I'm thinking right now. I think you saw the last few months the real guy who had lost interest but didn't want you totally out of his life yet. I'm quite certain my ex was not 100% committed towards the last two months we got back together. We broke up 4 time total this year with her breaking up w/me 3 of those times. Each time we got back together, the honeymoon phase was SHORTER and SHORTER.. I honestly wouldn't want to get back together with the ex I was with this year. I do miss the ex from the first few months but she wasn't real anyway. This type of relationship and yours were toxic. Not good for either party. I think we got back together each time to stop the break up pain vs. riding it out and finding someone that we are compatible with. She ended it 6 weeks ago when I pissed her off telling her I was tiring of the way she talked to me when stressed or annoyed. I was fed up with it. The conversation ended when I asked what she wanted to do and she said she was done. She'll never hear from me again. I'm also quite sure after discussing her behavior with a couple of therapist that she suffered from a personality disorder of some type. Maybe a borderline. All I know is while I miss her kids and being in a relationship (when she was nice), I don't miss her moods, temper, anger and her always being stressed out and overwhelmed. It's not fun to walk around on egg shells around someone who allegedly love you.
theonlyjuan Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I think all that happens years later. I haven't read much of ex's coming back too soon..It always seems to be years later when they realise they made a mistake. By then, the other person has usually moved on. Live your life! Start to move on Accept it's over. If they come back one day, deal with it then. 1
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