Emma1234 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Hey, I'm finding it difficult to get through the days at the moment. Me and my boyfriend were together 2 and a half years, we went to university together and were committed to one another in everyday. Anyway, we went to uni and halfway through we had about three bad months, we then decided to go on a break where we both realised how it was lovely to have time and space to ourselves, but halfway through this one month break I realised I loved him and wanted to try again. He said he needed more time and two weeks later I said I couldn't take it anymore as he was messing me around slightly by sleeping with me one night and then having a go at me for calling him the next. He then basically crushed my heart and watched me beg and cry with hardly any emotion. He said he was enjoying being on his own and wanted to find himself, he said he still had really strong feelings for me but he needed to be himself for a while, he also said he wanted me for the future. I don't know how I got through the next few weeks, he still text me but I could hardly reply, eventually we met up and he basically acted like he still had me by asking me to sit and play some guitar songs for him whilst he ranted about his flatmate, I was the only one he'd have to talk to really. I realised as he did this and basically acted like he was so happy and still had the nerve to say how kind and thoughtful I was as I made some cookies and wrote my feelings down in a letter with a decoration thing that I knew he uses for craft things. He just seemed like a different person, everyone used to say how devoted and how much he seemed to love me. Anyway, I basically decided that to get through this I had to end the contact and all he said that is wasn't what he wanted but that he supposed he didn't have a choice. It was like he didn't care, almost like he'd flicked a switch. I just couldn't understand how he could give us up. Anyway 3 and a half weeks later after no contact and 6 weeks after breaking up the pain is still almost as strong as it was at the beginning. I don't know how to get rid of it even though I've tried everything. All I want is him back and for what he has done to hit him so that he realises, but at the same time I could never forgive him for what he has put me through. Do you think he will change his mind? And how do I pull through this? Please please give me your opinions, thank you.
StrongLass Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Sounds like even though the breakup was a mutual decision he's savoring his newfound freedom while you're wanting to get back together. If you've made it CLEAR to him that you want to be together and nothing less then you'd hear from him if he changed his mind and wanted you back. As for you? Be kind to yourself. Got an urge to call him? Call a friend instead. He won't stop sending mundane texts? Turn your phone off & go for a run. See where I'm going with this?
Author Emma1234 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 Thank you, well I do wish that it was mutual but it certainly doesn't feel that way now. I begged him to re think and told him I loved him. He knew he was breaking me. Since I've initiated no contact he hasn't tried to contact me at all. I'm close to the 30 day mark now and I'm really struggling.
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