fortyninethousand322 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Is it something that's more of a personality trait, or is it something you get from life experience? I've seen some interesting thoughts about the maturity level of guys who are under 30, whether or not they're mature enough for long term relationships and the like. Does that have something to do with emotional maturity or is that a separate issue altogether. Personally, in many ways I feel more mature than my age (and I certainly look several years older). I'm pretty mild mannered, I don't go out partying and looking to hook up with a different woman every night. I've never lived the stereotypical "frat boy lifestyle" (nor do I want to). But, I also feel very immature for my age. I've never lived on my own, never had a full time job where you wear a suit and tie and work 9-5. And obviously my romantic skills are pretty similar to a scared 12 year old (having never kissed, had sex, or even held a girl's hand). So I guess, what exactly is an "emotionally mature" person?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 It's not so much that guys under 30 lack emotional maturity, but I was saying before that in comparison with women over 30, they do. I think guys under 30 can have great relationships with girls close to their age. They are both kind of discovering who they are together and it can work. People over 30 generally reach a different maturity level, they know who they are and what they want out of life. You will see what I mean
Estate Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Is it something that's more of a personality trait, or is it something you get from life experience? I've seen some interesting thoughts about the maturity level of guys who are under 30, whether or not they're mature enough for long term relationships and the like. Does that have something to do with emotional maturity or is that a separate issue altogether. Personally, in many ways I feel more mature than my age (and I certainly look several years older). I'm pretty mild mannered, I don't go out partying and looking to hook up with a different woman every night. I've never lived the stereotypical "frat boy lifestyle" (nor do I want to). But, I also feel very immature for my age. I've never lived on my own, never had a full time job where you wear a suit and tie and work 9-5. And obviously my romantic skills are pretty similar to a scared 12 year old (having never kissed, had sex, or even held a girl's hand). So I guess, what exactly is an "emotionally mature" person? It's when someone can handle the ups and downs of life without having to come on a forum like LS and bitch and whine that everything wrong with their life is the fault of the opposite sex. Age has no factor in it. I see guys on here 30, and 40 + who are less emotionally mature than guys half their age... has nothing to do with physical maturity or looks or age.
mahon451 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I consider myself an emotionally mature person. Sort of. Since I'm fond of lists, I'll break down what I think constitutes "emotional maturity" in that format: 1. Empathy. Part of being a well-adjusted adult is being able to put ourselves into the shoes of other people. Only then can we really understand, appreciate, and love our fellow humans. 2. The acceptance of people who have different lifestyles and outlooks than we do. This is what you do when you absolutely cannot empathize with a person- you try to at least accept them for who they are (unless they're a rapist or something), and how they live. 3. Kindness. Everything from giving a dollar to the homeless guy on the street, to making time in your day to help your grandmother move some things around her house. Part of emotional maturity is selflessness, which is actually its own reward. 4. Confidence. If you are secure in who you are, and I mean TRULY secure, you will exude positivity, and inspire people. I have yet to meet someone who is REALLY (and again, I mean REALLY) secure with themselves and is an a-hole. People who are confident have nothing to prove, because they ARE the proof. 5. Ambition. This doesn't necessarily mean "become the CEO of a Fortune-500". It means, have aspirations. Know that as awesome as things are, there is always something else to strive for. Fulfilled in your career? Learn how to ballroom dance. Are you the best ukelele player in the world? Great- learn violin. 6. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Eat healthy food, exercise, meditate, don't be afraid to talk about your problems, don't be afraid to show emotion, and just be comfortable being you. To me, that's emotional maturity.
Mrlonelyone Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 On average the crucial part of the brain that is responsible for judgement and maturity does not fully grow until age 25 Maturation of the Prefrontal Cortex So in that sense people under about 25 are on average not mature in terms of their brain structure. Experience then dictates how someone will react. In short an emotionally mature person takes responsibility for their emotional state. How does emotional maturity look? When an emotionally mature person is in a relationally difficult situation they are able to control their emotional response. They are able to check themselves. They don't blame their romantic partner for their freaking out over small stuff, they pick their battles, they take ownership of their actions and reactions,... An emotionally mature person takes charge of their relationships and how those relationships make them feel. Example: An emotionally mature woman will not date D-bag after D-bag and wonder why they can't find a hot D-bag who they can win over and fix into not being a D-bag anymore. An emotionally mature woman will say. Why don't I at least look for a self reformed former D-bag who now knows how to treat a lady right? Then they find such a man. An emotionally mature man who isn't (i.e. a former "nice" guy) will not chase women who only want D-bag's. Instead he decides to just blot those women out of his dating world. He does not seek their approval and looks for a less flashy woman or opens his heart to a reformed former "bad girl". Emotionally mature people don't try to change people to fit them. They accept what is, while not being complacent, and look for situations that feed their emotional needs. TL;DR: Emotional maturity is a little bit about having a mature brain. It is more about having a mature outlook on relationships which comes from experience. Without both of those, experiences, and a mature brain to process them and make sound judgements one is just an overgrown teenager with money.
TheGuard13 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 To me, being emotionally mature is about seeking emotional balance.
Pompeii Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I've been told too often that I'm an old person that was reincarnated into a young person's body. Apparently when I was 2 years old, I was saying things that people in early adulthood wouldn't even say. I'd say I'm "emotionally mature" enough for a relationship but I know better not to get into one. A certain level of experience is required for one party not to have the balance of power in a relationship. If the girl is too experienced and the guy is inexperienced, she holds all the power. Not good. I'm not getting myself into that. I'm too smart for that.
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