Imajerk17 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) Right now I have too many of what could be great options in my dating life, and I am wondering how to manage them. 1. I have a first date tonight with someone from Match. 2. I am talking with two awesome girls (BOTH just my type) from another site. 3. I have a second date with another girl. 4. A girl I met out at a bar contacted me again although maybe we are just friends at this point. 5. There is someone I've been crushing on for a while... SG you know about her... I think we are just friends though. Man that is 6 women, all terrific in their own way. I didn't mean for this to happen, it just did. And they are all wild cards too in that it might not end up working with ANY of them. Is it OK for me to pursue a few of them hard for a bit and see what happens? I kinda just want to love them all haha. (I can already imagine a backlash. Ladies I'm not a player it's just the variance of dating. Guys, I know what it is like to really struggle as well. And I am older than most of you so you can get there yourself by the time you're my age.) Edited June 25, 2013 by Imajerk17
TigerCub Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I don't see anything wrong with dating all of them till you know what's what. AS LONG as you aren't making false promises or lying or leading any of them on - then go for it and have fun. It's like you ordered the "sampler" at the restaurant, enjoy the variety but watch out for food poisoning yeah...your life is so tough 4
TaraMaiden Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I think providing you make it absolutely, abundantly crystal clear that you are casually multi-dating and not seriously looking, but are just out to have a little non-committal, innocent fun (including any bed action) then that's ok. It's being honest and it's being right, right up-front. It's unfair to hide such things or lead people on. And make sure you practise safe sex. Belt and braces. Never have unprotected sex on their word, otherwise, you may have to change your name to "STDidiot" or "God.I'm.a.dad" or worse still, "herpes.dad.now"....!! 2
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 I actually would like to have a girlfriend. BUT there are three in particular who all seem really sharp. Why did I have to meet all three at about the same time? 1
Emilia Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Because Cupid mistakenly used this one... :laugh::laugh:
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 (I can already imagine a backlash. Ladies I'm not a player it's just the variance of dating. Guys, I know what it is like to really struggle as well. And I am older than most of you so you can get there yourself by the time you're my age.) Eh, you won't see much backlash from me. I think your experience is pretty average for a guy. As far as having multiple decent options.
carhill Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Why did I have to meet all three at about the same time? One potential is to save you 'what ifs' down the road. Tip: This is an opportunity to be your natural self and let life happen. Enjoy it. Advice: Be mindful of how you treat people on your 'way up', as you will meet similar people on your 'way down'. Life is a series of ups and downs. The mettle of a person is determined by how they navigate the waves of life. Good luck. 3
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Focus on 1 and 3 for now, and consider 5 a non-option until/unless she makes it REALLY obvious. P.S. I seeeee yooouuuu! 1
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I think providing you make it absolutely, abundantly crystal clear that you are casually multi-dating and not seriously looking, but are just out to have a little non-committal, innocent fun (including any bed action) then that's ok. But, I don't think that's what he's looking for. I believe he does want a relationship. He can take his time getting there, but there's no need for him to say he's going about it in a casual fashion.
Lansing Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 They go as quickly as they come sometimes. Enjoy it for what it is right now but it is hard to juggle more than one girl at a time. I met 3 girls around the same time a few years ago. Turned out one just got out of a relationship so I ended up becoming just friends with her (although, years later she admitted she had a crush on me but I didn't feel the same way). Anyway, I dated the two other girls and it was almost better to have options at that point because I wasn't overthinking things too much. I ended up ending things with the one girl because she wasn't really "girlfriend" material and she seemed like she was wanting to be bf/gf (she just had a lot of negative attitudes, hated her job, etc, etc). Last girl, we ended up just fading apart (turned more into a FWB type situation for a while). So, bottom line, enjoy meeting new people... Like others said, don't lead anyone one.
Joaquin Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) If u want a relationship i would focus on one u like best and go for her. If yr prone to dry spells id be trying to seal a deal while yr luck may be in. Edited June 25, 2013 by Joaquin
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) Focus on 1 and 3 for now, and consider 5 a non-option until/unless she makes it REALLY obvious. P.S. I seeeee yooouuuu! SG I believe I got that sign from 5. Crazy...... She is taller than I am too! Edited June 30, 2013 by Imajerk17
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Right now I have too many of what could be great options in my dating life, and I am wondering how to manage them. 1. I have a first date tonight with someone from Match. 2. I am talking with two awesome girls (BOTH just my type) from another site. 3. I have a second date with another girl. 4. A girl I met out at a bar contacted me again although maybe we are just friends at this point. 5. There is someone I've been crushing on for a while... SG you know about her... I think we are just friends though. Man that is 6 women, all terrific in their own way. I didn't mean for this to happen, it just did. And they are all wild cards too in that it might not end up working with ANY of them. Is it OK for me to pursue a few of them hard for a bit and see what happens? I kinda just want to love them all haha. (I can already imagine a backlash. Ladies I'm not a player it's just the variance of dating. Guys, I know what it is like to really struggle as well. And I am older than most of you so you can get there yourself by the time you're my age.) No backlash from me, but I do suggest that if you want to casually date for awhile, make sure each and every one of them are aware of it. That way, if any of them are uncomfortable with the idea, they can walk away. Some of the others might be okay with it, and might even want to casually date as well. The key to this? Honesty. That way, you don't have any ugly situations down the road. 1
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Because Cupid mistakenly used this one... I had a good laugh at this. Choked on my drink in the process.
Author Imajerk17 Posted June 30, 2013 Author Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) SG I believe I got that sign from 5. Crazy...... She is taller than I am too! We will have to see. She is awesome. I was chasing her for months after I got to know her in my social circle and started to give up and now it might happen after all. I'm stunned. This just "shouldn't" be happening. Im not charismatic, I acted like a needy chump around her at one time--there are other guys who are into her and that got to me, she's way better-looking than I am, and to top it all off I'm shorter too! Edited June 30, 2013 by Imajerk17
sillyanswer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Right now I have too many of what could be great options in my dating life, and I am wondering how to manage them. Have a crazy-busy couple of weeks where you go on first dates with them all, second dates with any you like (who will agree to them), third dates with any who are left. You'll soon be down to a manageable number of women, and if you still have to choose it'll probably be just between 2. Don't lie, though. If someone asks if you're seeing others, tell them that yes, you are, but you're hoping to find just one girl to keep seeing (assuming that's true!) and if that's what scares some of them off then they don't share the same values as you so that's fine. 2
Gottabestrong Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 . Is it OK for me to pursue a few of them hard for a bit and see what happens? Sure, just don't have sex with any of them while you are still dating others. Unless you are upfront about this with the women BEFORE you have sex. My advice is to take your time getting to know the women and see if someone emerges as the one you are really interested in and want to see monogamously.
Recommended Posts