Boyfriend called me a parrot

[Shamiah]

Hello everyone. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for six months now. We keep in touch via Skype and cellphone, and once or twice a month one of us would fly to the other's place (two hours by plane). What I'm about to consult is nothing really heavy or serious. Basically, my boyfriend is hands down the best I've ever had. He treats me well, makes me feel really beautiful, respects me and my beliefs. We have very occasional talks about some of our differences, but we haven't really gotten into an argument so far.

 

So tonight, my boyfriend came home drunk from day-drinking with work friends and although he invited me to watch a movie with him (we stream movies at the same time while staying on Skype), he fell asleep on the floor. I let him be since he looked so tired. After half an hour, I started to wake him up (calling his name over Skype which was still on because we basically use Skype like our CCTVs so we are always on video mode). He eventually woke up, visibly irritated. After several minutes of coming to, he sat down and told me he's going to call me "parrot" because I said the same thing over and over (calling his name) at a time he was trying to sleep. He also said that me waking him up when he is trying to sleep is a delicate situation.

 

Firstly, I didn't know that he was trying to sleep. He basically invited me for a movie before he decided to take a nap. Secondly, I was just trying to wake him up because I didn't want his sleep cycle messed up again and I didn't want him to go on sleeping on the floor. I am just really sad (not even mad, just deeply, deeply sad) that he actually called me a parrot when I really just wanted him to get off the floor and maybe sleep on his bed. i don't know if it's just me, but that comment really hurt. Am I being overly sensitive about this?

 

Thank you so much guys!

[eleve82]

Honestly? I don't think it's a big deal. Obviously if he keeps calling you by that name after a few days you should tell him to stop. He was probably just irritated for being woken up - guys like to do less than sensible things (get drunk during the day etc) sometimes and as long as it doesn't happen too often, just leave him be - you can't mother him (and you don't want him to see you as one) and you shouldn't have to feel responsible for him.

[MidwestUSA]

This is where you say "But I'm YOUR parrot"! Start signing off with cutesie names involving parrots. You'll both get over it; he was probably feeling like crap from having woken up after drinking during the day. If that's a bigger concern, something that he does frequently, it might be better to leave him be rather than try to watch a movie.

[Shamiah]

Thanks, guys! LOL at the parrot retort His day drinking doesn't happen a lot at all. He and the guys at his work had a major monthly meeting of sorts and they just decided to drink afterwards. You're both right, he is quite unfiltered when woken up and he probably was extra candid because he was drunk.

[hoping2heal]

You should have just let him sleep. He's a grown man and can determine when and where to go to sleep. If he was sleeping and comfortable, should have just let him be. I understand it hurt your feelings that he called you that but can you understand why it annoyed him?

[na49]

So has he actually called you "parrot" or did he just say he would? I think you're being a little over sensitive. Do you guys ever joke around with each other?

[justwhoiam]

I didn't want him to go on sleeping on the floor. I am just really sad (not even mad, just deeply, deeply sad) that he actually called me a parrot when I really just wanted him to get off the floor and maybe sleep on his bed. i don't know if it's just me, but that comment really hurt. Am I being overly sensitive about this?

This is just my opinion. I think he was a jerk. Instead of appreciating the fact that you cared enough to let him sleep on a bed, he got annoyed because you woke him up. He was drunk, so I'm not expecting a reaction that makes sense. But I would expect at least some apology as soon as he's sober again. I guess he didn't. And I don't get the other comments about "you're not his mother, just let him be", if I had been there with him in the same room, I would have done the same.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Seriously? He was drunk an passed out, you annoyed it. My man annoys me all the time and I annoy him. Lol if we made a big deal out of everything petty it would be a pretty lame relationship.

 

 

 

He called you a parrot. That's funny. You should have laughed instead of getting so butthurt. I would have called him a drunken pirate.

 

 

Learn to pick an choose your battles. Something's just aren't worth getting upset over. Sure, he was being a butt head. We all have our moments.

[Els]

Eh, not a big deal IMO. Two ways of dealing with it:

 

1) Laugh it off

2) Tell him it's not funny, please stop

 

Under no circumstances is this worth making a big issue out of, though.

 

And well, people fall asleep sometimes, no biggie. Once in six months is pretty good actually! On the rare occasions that the bf did that, both LDR and RL, I just let him sleep, unless there was something extremely urgent (official appointment, etc)

[lovemates]

he sat down and told me he's going to call me "parrot" because I said the same thing over and over (calling his name) at a time he was trying to sleep. He also said that me waking him up when he is trying to sleep is a delicate situation.

Thank you so much guys!

 

I'm sorry but i find this funny. Just laugh it off, no big deal.

 

If you don't like it, then ask him to stop.

[Shamiah]

Thank you so much for your thoughts, guys! Just to add to the background---we have a pretty much smooth-sailing relationship with zero fights so far and lots of laughter and weird' humor so yes, we joke around quite a lot.

 

So here's an update of what happened:

 

He went back to sleep for about two hours, woke up, and sent me a text to which I replied with "This is not (my name), this is parrot-san (we both live in Japan, hence the -san)" Then he swore he couldn't remember what the parrot thing was about so I objectively filled him in and then I started sending SMS stickers of parrots and joking about how I would be flying away to reunite with my parrot family and he was like "I'll be a parrot with you and give you parrot kisses" and then goes on to woe me because he sensed my being distant. He then asked me to go on Skype to talk to him and I answered his call, I shoved a picture of a parrot on my iPhone in front of the webcam and that pretty much lightened things up. I am okay with not hearing a direct apology after all that--he recognized that his comment was "evil and unfiltered" and that, plus the wooing, is enough.

[amayana]

I had to chuckle when I read this. It's one of those stories you will be laughing about in a couple of months, trust me. He was drunk and grumpy so him saying a couple of odd things is normal behaviour. I've never met any drunk people who made a lot of sense.

 

Here a little anecdote: My BF and I got incredibly drunk for his 21st birthday and it actually ended up in us having a huge fight. All I can remember was bawling my eyes out, running across the street like a maniac and screaming 'you wouldn't even care if i got run over by a car', which provoked him to start crying himself. Yeah. Best thing is the next morning we couldn't even remember what we were fighting about. We swore we would never drink that much again. Ever. We're laughing about it now but it really wasn't funny at that time. Alcohol, you know.

 

Maybe next time he gets drunk with his colleagues, you should let him sleep it off first and then watch that movie

[Tk123]

If your drunk and delusional boyfriend calling you a parrot is the most you have to worry about, I'd say you are well off! Don't take it personally, he just isn't thinking straight There's nothing to worry about, relax!

[veggies]

I don't think it's too big of a deal. I know I get really annoyed when my boyfriend wakes me up for whatever reason, mostly because I'm irritated and not fully awake to think about how my words would affect him.